9 Out of 10 People Can’t Move Forward After Betrayal — Here’s What That Number Actually Means

A statistic that sounds discouraging — until you understand what’s actually underneath it. Plus: what’s coming on June 22nd.

88.7% of people who’ve been through betrayal say they’re finding it hard to move forward.

Almost 9 out of 10.

If you’re one of them, I want to stop here for a moment — because I think this number has probably been used against you. By other people. Maybe by yourself.

Maybe you’ve heard some version of: it’s been long enough, you should be over this by now, why haven’t you moved on yet.

Here’s the part that changes how you should read that number.

The Number Underneath the Number

Among the people in our research who are highly committed to healing — meaning they rated their commitment to healing 7 or higher out of 10 — nearly 1 in 3 have already tried multiple approaches.

Therapy. Books. Podcasts. Support groups. All of it.

And they are still finding it hard to move forward.

Sit with that for a moment.

These are not people who gave up. These are not people who didn’t put in the work. These are some of the most committed, most resourced, most hardworking people in our entire research database — and a significant number of them are still stuck.

So when 88.7% say it’s hard to move forward, that figure includes a large group of people who have already done exactly what they were told to do. They sought help. They showed up. They tried.

Why ‘Try Harder’ Was Never the Missing Piece

Post Betrayal Syndrome® is a specific, measurable cluster of symptoms — physical, mental, and emotional — that follows a significant betrayal. It was identified through doctoral research spanning more than 100,000 people across 50+ countries.

And it requires a specific path through it. Not more effort applied to the wrong approach — a different approach altogether.

This is the piece that so often gets missed. Many of the tools that help people through grief, general stress, or relationship difficulty are genuinely good tools. They are just not built for betrayal specifically — and betrayal has a different shape than those other experiences.

Applying a general framework to a betrayal wound can help in some ways while leaving the core of it untouched. And when that happens, the person doing the work is left wondering what’s wrong with them — when nothing is wrong with them at all. They were simply given a tool that wasn’t matched to where they actually were.

You Are Not Behind

If you’ve been trying for a long time — and still feel stuck — I want you to hear this clearly:

The map is The Five Stages of Betrayal Recovery™ — a universal pathway, validated across 100,000+ people in 50+ countries, that shows what every person who has been through significant betrayal needs at each point in their healing. Different timelines, different circumstances, different kinds of betrayal — but the same five stages, every time.

Each stage has its own specific needs. What helps in Stage 1 doesn’t help in Stage 3. What moves someone from Stage 2 to Stage 3 is different from what moves them from Stage 3 to Stage 4. This is why so many genuinely good tools and approaches can still leave people feeling stuck — not because the tools are wrong, but because they weren’t matched to the stage the person is actually in.

You’re welcome to learn more about The Five Stages of Betrayal Recovery™ just click here:

Something Is Coming on June 22nd

For the past decade, we’ve been quietly building something behind the scenes. On June 22nd, we’re releasing The State of Betrayal Report — the most comprehensive research publication on betrayal recovery ever produced, based on 73,500+ responses across 50+ countries.

Here’s what it means depending on where you’re sitting as you read this.

I can’t wait to share it with you.