Marriage counseling is often seen as a common response to experiencing betrayal in a relationship. However, there are several reasons why this approach may not be effective in addressing the aftermath of betrayal, and we’ll discuss why this is the case in this week’s episode.
Dr. Debi had the pleasure of speaking with Beth Fischer, a certified PBT practitioner and a remarkable individual who found herself facing the devastating discovery of her husband’s secret life. Beth’s journey through betrayal and depression lasted for over two years, leaving her unable to see past her pain or envision a happy future. However, she found the strength to break free from her trauma cycle and not only reconcile with her husband but also create an amazing life for herself.
Beth’s story is truly inspiring, and her resilience in the face of such adversity is remarkable. She discusses the importance of finding the right support and community, as well as the transformative power of doing the hard work necessary to heal.
During their conversation, they also touch on the topic of trust and how it can be rebuilt after betrayal. Beth shares her insights on how the person who betrayed you often changes in appearance and energy, creating a different feeling altogether. It’s a powerful reminder that there is hope for healing and growth, even in the most challenging of circumstances.
If you are currently navigating the painful journey of betrayal or know someone who is, we highly recommend tuning in to this episode. Beth’s wisdom and expertise, coupled with her willingness to share her story, will undoubtedly provide strength and hope to countless individuals who may be facing similar challenges.
Key Takeaways:
[00:01:59] Why marriage counseling doesn’t work.
[00:06:04] The betrayer’s why.
[00:08:07] A to Z analogy.
[00:11:14] Betrayal trauma and changing pasts.
[00:15:11] The five stages of transformation.
[00:17:18] Betrayed partners must prioritize self-healing.
[00:19:49] Reasons versus excuses.
[00:23:11] The real why.
[00:27:41] There is hope for healing.
[00:28:10] Betrayal can lead to transformation.
[00:31:12] Betrayal changing your past.
Memorable Quotes
“When we talk about betrayal trauma, we’re talking about somebody’s past literally changing overnight. What they thought was real is now a lie. They have no concept of time anymore. It’s wait a minute, you did what? Where was I? Wait a minute, that was our anniversary, and you were texting or calling or whatever it was. So, with betrayal and trauma, your past changes and that’s brutal to the human mind.” – Beth Fischer
“I’m not buying that it was a lack of sex or that it was a bad marriage. I’m not buying that. I was in the same marriage. I didn’t cheat. There has to be more to it than that. Now, back then I didn’t have the words, so that ended up into a huge fight. Now I see very clearly, I was 100% spot on. He had to go figure out why, and I was not going to take any responsibility for it.” – Beth Fischer
Links Mentioned In This Episode
Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/
Post Betrayal Syndrome (PBS) Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/
Free Gift Link: https://chaostocalm.coachbethfischer.com/c2c & https://aherosjourney.coachbethfischer.com/hero
Where To Find Our Guest
Website: https://coachbethfischer.com/