I’m convinced that there is no one stronger than someone who has healed from a painful experience with betrayal. Every day I work with the most incredible people who are rebuilding their lives after everything they’ve known has been torn down.
1-The person they trusted the most blindsided them.
2-The life they expected has shattered into a million pieces.
3-The dreams they envisioned have been destroyed.
4-Their health, confidence and even their sanity takes a nose dive.
Yet, even with all that, there’s a tiny seed of hope, a glimmer of possibility where although they don’t believe it fully, they think: “Can I heal from this?”
Then they find a reason to try. If not for them, for their children. Anything that can give them incentive to move through this unimaginable pain they never saw coming.
That’s the first step. Then they slowly come to realize that just because it happened TO them, it’s not ABOUT them.
This is a tough one to accept but when they do, they have even more motivation to heal.
They create their own “recipe” of what works for them, learn that although many well meaning people in their lives are trying to help, advice from people who haven’t been through it can do more harm than good.
They find the right support, feel a little better and keep going. They build on it and as they do, they’re regaining their energy, their perspective and slowly creating an entirely new life filled with hope and possibility.
They slowly become a role model, a force to be reckoned with and they eventually learn that while it was done to them and it was never about them, it was actually done FOR them.
They create radiant health, new boundaries, new relationships, new dreams, goals and visions. They’re blown away by their own strength as they learn they’re so much stronger than they thought. They’re ready for new opportunities, new adventures and new possibilities.
They learn that the person who hurt them the most was their greatest teacher and eventually, although they may not want to admit it, they’re grateful for all they learned through this trauma. As they stand up with a strength they never knew they had, they’ve achieved an amazing state of healing-Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT). Everyone around them knows the old version of them no longer exists and if they can’t step up or keep up with them, they simply fade away. This amazing rebuilt soul has an entirely new way to look at life. They’re wary to trust yet go for it anyway. They’re scared of a new opportunity but realize nothing could be nearly as scary as what they’ve just been through. They live more, laugh more, love more as they realize all of this was an incredibly painful yet life altering opportunity to show them just how magnificent they are.
Yep, that’s what healing from betrayal looks like and I’m honored to be among you my fierce cohorts. With love and the deepest admiration for the journey you’re on, you got this.
Dr. Debi
Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: