Why Clients Self-Sabotage—and How to Help Them Stop

If you’ve ever watched a brilliant client sabotage their momentum just when things start going well, you’re not alone.

They finally get clarity.
They take a big step forward.
And then?
They retreat, disappear, overthink, or blow it up.

The voice of self-doubt kicks in.
The old patterns come back.
And the growth they worked so hard for vanishes.

Why does this happen—and what can you do about it as a practitioner?

Let’s reframe this:

Self-sabotage is a nervous system strategy, not a character flaw.

For clients who’ve experienced betrayal—especially the deep kind that shatters trust in others or in themselves—change feels dangerous.

Not because it actually is—but because the brain and body have associated growth with threat.

Change requires:

• Letting go of the familiar

• Challenging old beliefs

• Facing criticism, visibility, and emotional risk

Even if the current circumstances “stink” (as many clients will say), they’re familiar. And the unfamiliar—no matter how promising—feels unsafe.

Why Clients Resist the Very Thing They Say They Want

You’ve likely heard these questions from clients (or thought them yourself):

• What if I lose friends if I grow too much?

• What if I fail and everyone sees me fail?

• What if I succeed and can’t handle the pressure?

• What if people judge me—or worse, what if I judge myself?

These aren’t just mindset blocks.
They’re protective patterns created by trauma—often betrayal trauma—that aim to keep the client from repeating past pain.

The problem? These “protections” also prevent progress.

When clients push down these fears—numbing with work, food, alcohol, overthinking, perfectionism, or scrolling—the stress still builds.

Eventually, they hit a tipping point:

The pain of staying where they are becomes greater than the fear of change.

This is the moment we see true transformation. And as a practitioner, it’s your job to help them recognize, trust, and move through it—not retreat from it.

When your client finally makes the decision to move—despite the fear—everything shifts.

They feel the rush of integrity.
They hear themselves sound more confident.
They watch people respond to them differently.
They see proof of their own power.

This is when momentum takes over.

And it’s addictive in the best way.

They’re no longer fueled by fear—they’re fueled by vision, alignment, and self-trust.

As a Coach or Practitioner, Your Role Is Crucial

Here’s what most programs and certifications miss:

• Sabotage isn’t just psychological—it’s physiological

• You can’t mindset your way out of betrayal trauma

• You need a stage-specific, trauma-informed approach to help clients heal at the root

That’s exactly what the PBT® Certification equips you to do.

You’ll learn to:

• Identify betrayal-based sabotage patterns

• Guide clients through the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough®

• Address both the emotional and physical fallout of unhealed betrayal

• Help clients reconnect with purpose, power, and personal integrity

• Witness clients rebuild their lives from a place of self-leadership and truth

When clients stop running from themselves, their growth becomes sustainable.
That’s what you help facilitate as a Certified PBT® Practitioner.

Imagine the Clients You’ll Serve

They’ll sound different.
Look different.
Lead different.
And it’s because they’ll feel different—on a core, embodied level.

And it started because you understood the real reason they were sabotaging themselves… and gave them the roadmap out.

👉 Get certified and help your clients (and yourself) move past sabotage into success.

This is what real transformation looks like.
And it’s what more people are ready for.

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day, is an award winning speaker, top rated podcast host, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes everything we’ve known about how to fully heal (physical, mentally and emotionally) from this specific type of trauma. Creator of the #1 betrayal recovery certification program for life, business, health and leadership coaches, Dr. Debi certifies practitioners globally using her evidence-based framework. A sought-after expert, she specializes in predictably helping industry leaders, visionaries and executives move beyond betrayal and break through the blocks standing between them and the exceptional life they want most.