From Heartbreak to Healing:
How to Make Choices That Truly Empower You

Ever felt lost in a maze of decisions, especially after a tough experience? We all face choices every day, but it’s no secret that past hurts can cloud our judgment. When we’re healing from a betrayal, it’s like wearing different sets of glasses—each stage of healing tints how we see the world and, more importantly, how we choose our path.

Unlocking Your Inner Compass

So, how do we make choices that light up our future, not dim it? It’s simpler than you might think. Picture this: you’re sitting across from your future self, the one who’s healed and whole. What advice would they give you? That’s the power of the “Stage 5” strategy—tapping into the wisdom and clarity of the person you’re becoming.

✅ Strategy: Journal a dialogue between your current self and your Stage 5 self. Let the future version of you respond to your biggest decisions or dilemmas with insight, compassion, and clarity. You’ll be surprised at what surfaces when you give that future voice the mic.

I’ve seen this firsthand. A woman I was working with, struggling with co-parenting after a separation, found her way through by asking, “What would my Stage 5 self do?” By envisioning her strongest, most confident self, she discovered choices that aligned with her long-term happiness—not just a quick fix.

Your Body is Your Best Friend

Our bodies are already wired to guide us. Does a decision make your heart race with anxiety? Or does it feel like a warm hug? Our bodies have an amazing way of telling us if we’re on the right track. It’s like having an inner compass, always pointing us toward what truly feels good. The more we tune into that knowing, the safer we feel, the better we’ll be.

✅ Tool: Try a body-based “yes/no” practice: Hold a decision in your mind, close your eyes, and ask, “Is this a yes for me?” Pay attention to the physical response—lightness or expansion often signals yes, while tightness or constriction may mean no. Let your body cast its vote.

Little Steps Lead to Big Leaps

Here’s the good news: even small steps matter on this journey. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about making progress. Every choice we make, whether it’s eating a nourishing meal or setting a healthy boundary, brings us closer to the person we want to be.

✅ Practice: Choose one “micro-win” each day—something small but meaningful that supports your healing or growth. It could be a 10-minute walk, saying no to something that drains you, or drinking an extra glass of water. Small hinges swing big doors.

Take your own experience. While possibly juggling obligations such as parenting, work, taking care of elderly parents, yourself, pets, and so much more, you know that different choices will create a different future. It’s not always easy, but deep down, you know that pull toward something brighter.

Choosing Your Path with Confidence

So, let’s embrace this together. No matter how big or small the decision, try on those Stage 5 glasses. Ask yourself, “What would my future self do?” and listen to the wisdom your body offers. It might feel a bit scary at first, but remember—the greatest growth  happens outside our comfort zones.

✅ Step: Create a “Confidence Anchor”—a simple reminder of who you’re becoming. This could be a quote, a word, a song, or a photo that pulls you back into your future vision when you’re feeling uncertain. Let it serve as your emotional compass when doubt creeps in.

Let’s step into our power and make choices that not only serve us today but also lead us toward a life that truly lights us up.

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and  National Forgiveness Day is a WBENC-Certified WBE (Women’s Business Enterprise) is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert. Through a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach, Dr. Debi and her team of Certified PBT Coaches/Practitioners help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of shattered trust and betrayal. Get started on your healing here.