Episode Summary
In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Dr. Bruce Chalmer—psychologist, author, and podcast host—for an in-depth discussion about betrayal, forgiveness, and the path to healing. Dr. Chalmer shares his deeply personal journey from pain to purpose, what drew him into clinical work with couples, and why betrayal demands a very different approach to healing. We talk about the distinction between guilt and shame, the stages of rebuilding trust, and how forgiveness is truly an inside job. If you’ve ever struggled with whether to stay, how to heal, or what it really takes to move forward, this episode will speak directly to your heart.
What You’ll Learn
- Why betrayal is not just a relational rupture but a nervous system shock
- How Dr. Chalmer’s personal experience shaped his work with couples
- The misunderstood difference between guilt and shame
- Why forgiveness is about releasing pain — not condoning behavior
- What it really means to rebuild something better than before
- The two-way nature of trust and how both partners play a role in restoring it
- The unexpected gifts that can emerge from betrayal
Resources & Mentions
- Dr. Bruce Chalmer’s site: www.brucechalmer.com
- “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” Podcast
- The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.
- For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.
- For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.
- Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
- Trust Again by Dr. Debi Silber