Beyond “Just Get Over It”:
What National Forgiveness Day Really Means for Those Who’ve Been Hurt
The Misunderstood Nature of Betrayal
“Just get over it.” “Everything happens for a reason.” “At least you found out now.” “You’re better off without them.”
If you’ve experienced betrayal, you’ve likely heard all of these well-meaning but ultimately harmful pieces of advice. What friends and family don’t understand is that betrayal isn’t just another difficult life event – it’s a unique form of trauma that requires specialized understanding and healing approaches.
This is one of the reasons why National Forgiveness Day was created. Founded in 2023 by National Day Calendar® and Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Institute, this officially recognized holiday exists to address the specific needs of those who’ve been holding on to anger, bitterness, resentment and more.
What Makes Betrayal Different
Dr. Debi Silber’s PhD research revealed that healing from betrayal is fundamentally different from other types of trauma recovery. Traditional grief models, general therapy approaches, and even trauma treatments weren’t designed for the unique challenges that betrayal presents.
Why is betrayal different? One reason is because it’s inflicted by someone you trust. Your nervous system doesn’t just have to process “something bad happened” – it has to reconcile “someone I trusted broke the rules of our spoken or unspoken agreement.” This creates a specific type of crisis that impacts every aspect of your being: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
The research also identified Post Betrayal Syndrome® – a collection of symptoms common to betrayal. These symptoms include (and are not limited to):
Physical: Extreme fatigue, digestive issues, hair loss, weight changes, frequent illness, sleep disturbances
Mental: Brain fog, memory issues, inability to concentrate, intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance
Emotional: Overwhelming sadness, rage, feeling “crazy,” emotional numbness, loss of joy
If you’re experiencing these symptoms after betrayal, you’re not weak, broken, or overreacting. You’re struggling with one of life’s most painful experiences, betrayal.
What National Forgiveness Day Is NOT About
Before we discuss what National Forgiveness Day means for betrayal survivors, it’s crucial to understand what it’s NOT about:
❌ It’s not about reconciliation: Finding forgiveness does not mean you condone the behavior inflicted towards you. It doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with the person, either.
❌ It’s not about rushing your process: The day exists to provide support and resources, not to pressure anyone into forgiving before they’re ready.
❌ It’s not about minimizing what happened: Forgiveness isn’t about condoning hurtful actions. Your pain is valid, your anger is justified, and what happened to you matters.
❌ It’s not about spiritual bypassing: True forgiveness work includes processing anger, grief, and all the difficult emotions that come with betrayal.
What National Forgiveness Day IS About
National Forgiveness Day recognizes several crucial truths about betrayal and healing:
Your Healing Matters: The process of forgiveness is to benefit you and your well-being. This day exists to remind you that you deserve to be free from the weight of what happened to you.
You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone: We are dedicating September 1 as a day to embrace healing, understanding, and unity by encouraging forgiveness and fostering empathy. There’s a entire community of people who understand what you’re going through.
Healing is Possible: The day provides hope based on research and real results. Thousands of people have moved through the 5 stages from betrayal to breakthrough.
You Have Options: Whether it’s workshops, seminars, events, and webinars that explore the concepts of forgiveness and reconciliation or structured programs like the 21-Day Forgiveness Journey, there are resources specifically designed for your situation.
The Self-Forgiveness Component
One aspect of National Forgiveness Day that’s particularly important for those who’ve been betrayed is the focus on self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is a path to profound self-love. It’s about forgiving ourselves for not recognizing our worth, for neglecting our own needs, and for underestimating the power within us.
After betrayal, many survivors struggle with self-blame:
- “How did I miss the signs?”
- “Why didn’t I trust my instincts?”
- “I should have known better”
- “I’m so stupid for trusting them”
Self-forgiveness work helps you recognize that:
- You trusted because you’re a trusting person (that’s not a flaw)
- Betrayers are skilled at deception (that’s not your fault)
- You made decisions with the information you had at the time
- Your capacity for trust is a strength, not a weakness
Imagine forgiving yourself for not realizing your potential sooner. For allowing toxic relationships or situations to persist. For not giving yourself the care, attention, and rest you deserve.
National Forgiveness Day exists to remind you that anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt is not your final destination. With the right roadmap and support, you can let that go; enjoying the freedom and peace that you deserve.
Practical Ways to Honor National Forgiveness Day
Start With Self-Compassion: Begin with practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness. If blaming yourself is getting in the way of forgiving, acknowledge your pain and accept you have the ability to make peace with it.
Reflect on Your Relationships: Use today to reflect on your own relationships. Consider whether there are any misunderstandings or grievances that you can work to resolve.
Connect With Others: Share your stories, quotes, or personal experiences with forgiveness on social media. Tag #NationalForgivenessDay to join the conversation.
Seek Professional Support: Look for resources specifically designed for those healing from betrayal, like PBT® certified coaches or programs that understand Post Betrayal Syndrome® (PBS®).
.Practice Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness and meditation by engaging in mindfulness exercises and meditation to reflect on the importance of forgiveness.
The Ultimate Truth About Forgiveness
It’s about a liberating choice that unburdens us from feelings of resentment. Forgiveness isn’t about the person who hurt you – it’s about refusing to let them continue to hurt you through your own thoughts and emotions.
Think of it this way: they hurt you once through their actions. Every day you carry resentment, anger, and pain, they’re hurting you again – but this time, you’re participating in your own suffering.
Not forgiving people prevents people who hurt from healing and moving forward in their lives. You deserve to move forward. You deserve to heal. You deserve to be free.
A Day of Hope and Possibility
National Forgiveness Day represents hope for everyone who thought they’d never get over what happened to them. It’s proof that healing is possible, that you’re not alone, and that there’s a community of people who understand exactly what you’re going through.
You don’t have to wait until September 1st to begin your healing journey, but you can use that day as a powerful reminder that transformation is possible, support is available, and your freedom is worth fighting for.
Your betrayal was not your fault. Your healing is your responsibility. And your transformation is your gift – to yourself and to everyone whose life you’ll touch when you become who you’re meant to be on the other side of this pain.
Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day is a WBENC-Certified WBE (Women’s Business Enterprise), an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who helps (along with her incredibly gifted Certified PBT-Post Betrayal Transformation Coaches and Practitioners) a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of shattered trust and betrayal.