Kathy Hammond is a 27-year veteran stepmom, writer, speaker, and award-winning author. In her second book, How to Kill Your Husband’s Ex, Attorneys, and Then Some: Ass Kickin’ Advice for Stepmoms, Kathy delivers a uniquely off-center perspective and advice for stepmoms to keep their sanity and money intact in challenging stepfamily arrangements. Kathy has an M.A. in Organizational Management and speaks and writes on motivation, goal setting, and goal attainment. She is the CEO of a recruitment solution firm in Southern California, where she lives with her husband, John. Kathy is stepmom to two, now grown sons.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- How to navigate the often tricky road of stepparenting
- How to take on the new role of stepparent
- What to do and what not to do when disciplining stepchildren
Quotes
“You know, it’s a dysfunctional arrangement to begin with.” [1:51]
“I’m not trying to replace their mom, how do you balance that? How do you negotiate that? You don’t pretend that you’re their parent.” [4:00]
“It takes people time to get used to the situation.” [8:19]
“You need to empathize. One of the things that I also recommend too, is for step moms to encourage their spouses, to sit down with the axe once a year, at least.” [10:22]
“The adults who are supposed to be protecting these kids are behaving like kids.” [19:08]
“It takes time to develop any relationship.” [21:54]
“I think that anytime we get involved, we actually make things worse.” [26:50]
Links
Kathy Hammond Website
The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
The most amazing questions come up in the PBT Membership Community when I hold our weekly live “coffee chats” and it’s always an interesting conversation. This came up recently and I have a feeling it will serve you too. So often, we have that nagging, inner voice; an inner critic that keeps commenting on what we’re doing, what we’re thinking, how we’re behaving, all of it. What do we do about that? Today, I invite you to do two things to help address this.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
● Discover how to manage that persistent, inner critic in our mind
● Understand why critical thoughts pop up
● Learn two practical techniques to quiet that internal negative voice
Quotes
“The first thing is you want to become aware of what you’re saying to yourselves. Are you saying kind, loving thoughts? Are you saying nasty, critical thoughts?” [0:52]
“Do you hear that negative, critical voice? Does it sound familiar? Do you know where that voice is coming from? We can’t change what we are unaware of. So once you know what you’re dealing with, then say ‘Does this serve me anymore?’ and if I’ve outgrown it. Just because it’s been a belief for so long, doesn’t mean we have to keep it.” [2:56]
“So if a majority of our thoughts are based on these negative beliefs, think about how it’s showing up throughout your day, think about the choices you’re making, think about the conversations you’re having with other people, think about the decisions you’re making based on these beliefs.” [3:44]
“Even if you catch ten times throughout the day of you being judgmental or critical with yourself, that’s ten opportunities to change them to something better and say something loving.” [5:58]
“We’re always learning and growing. So why not be a little gentler, a little kinder with ourselves?” [7:19]
Links
The PBT Institute Website
The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Holly Jean Jackson helps entrepreneurs and business leaders love their life and business again. With over 12 years of technology and business experience, she helps business leaders get their groove back physically, mentally and emotionally. She does this through a combined approach of both coaching and consulting, providing practical and actionable results. She also helps in fear and frustration with technology. Holly also teaches her clients to remember self care is essential, not optional.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- Understand how a person can learn from her own betrayals and use that information to change health, relationships, and life.
- Know how to create awareness around your behavior
- Discover the possibilities of how something really good can happen from something really bad
Quotes
“There’s a lot of pain from the past. I had some health challenges, but my biggest betrayal was I was married for about six years.” [3:01]
“A lot of rage, a lot of feeling worthless, feeling clueless feeling like my life was over.” [3:31]
“I think I needed time in a safe space alone to collect my thoughts and figure out what I needed to do next.” [6:20]
“We’re so filled with shame or embarrassment, or whatever it is, and we suffer and struggle in silence” [7:11]
“I just went backpacking alone, because I knew that the biggest fear I needed to face was my own mental chatter, my own anxiety and if I could face that I could face anything.” [11:35]
“I kept a lot of space and distance to make sure I still kept my self care standards.” [15:12]
“He knew I was in Celebrate Recovery for codependency. He knew that I was working on making sure that I had healthy boundaries.” [16:26]
“He made me feel like the best version of myself versus the worst version of myself.” [17:21]
“I wanted to break that pattern and empower other people that were having that same experience to get their health back because you can’t really do anything successfully if you don’t have your health.” [26:00]
“You’re not alone.” [28:20]
“Let’s share inspiration instead of all of the crazy negativity in the world.” [29:36]
Links
Holly Jean Jackson Website
Inspiration Contagion
The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Heather Aardemer is a board-certified, functional medicine certified health coach and the founder of Root of Well Being. She’s an aspiring minimalist, a real food advocate and a big fan of living a lighter life. Powerful principles of minimalism, simplicity, positive psychology and functional nutrition are woven throughout her work. Today, it’s her passion to help other women in their prime release the complication and clutter that’s been weighing them down so that they can make space for the things that matter most. She does this work through her private client coaching and weight loss sisterhood, where she guides women towards weight loss breakthroughs by helping them release the clutter in their heads, their hearts, their kitchens, and helps them get to the root of living the lives they love.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- Discover how betrayal and a minimalist lifestyle correlate with each other
- Learn the strategies of how to unclutter your mind, body and life after betrayal
- Learn simple tips to become freer, lighter and happier than you’ve ever been before
Quotes
“If I want to be competitive, I need to release some of these pounds.” [6:35]
“I really just think my body was saying, you know what, Heather with your body chemistry because it’s always my chemistry that is unique to the next person to the next lesson. We just can’t tolerate all this stuff.” [08:38]
“And I felt for a long time like this is a betrayal. Why is my body doing this? I’m strong. I’m fierce, powerful. I’m a fast runner. Why is my body saying slow down?” [12:41]
“I can’t believe how lucky I am now that I get to work with women who are willing to adjust the clutter in their life.” [16:15]
“We have so much on our plate, we are living these overloaded, addicted to busy lives.” [22:00]
“Sometimes people think of it as frugality. But really, what it is, is just getting rid of the things that aren’t serving us so that we can focus on the things that we want to, the things that mean the most.” [26:57]
“Find that white space, find that quiet space and ask yourself what matters most to you.” [31:21]
Links
Root of Well Being Website
The Life Cleanse Summit
The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Trust Again-Debi’s new book (and great bonus gifts!)
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Carolyn Herfurth does her part to flatten the curve. She stands shoulder-to-shoulder with six and seven figure business owners who want to pivot to their next level of growth. She’s a pro when it comes to seeing the opportunities and crafting new revenue streams. She works with women and helps them grow in scale, and launch their businesses.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- Understand how you may be betraying yourself in business
- Know what to do to communicate authentically and in congruence with who you are and what you’re offering
- Understand why sometimes business simply doesn’t work
Quotes
“There’s a lot of cultivation of self doubt, and shame and repression, and that shows up required, requiring you to surrender your own judgment to that of others.” [3:01]
“Women can be bro marketers.” [4:53]
“I talked about bro marketing is any type of behavior that feels manipulative.” [7:07]
“There’s just this system of bro tactics and strategies that we’ve all been like, it’s like seeing air. It’s just like you don’t see it. You don’t know it’s there. But you know, it’s there.” [9:24]
“I’m typically not going to have a client who’s doing something that feels super incongruent because I would never ask them to do it.” [15:22]
“When you’re aligned when you’re speaking the way you’re supposed to be speaking, it just kind of works.” [21:23]
“ I think a lot of betrayal is people coming up with excuses not to invest in themselves.” [22:53]
“It never really worked because the full transformation didn’t happen.” [28:03]
“If you can look at a coach as a thought partner, someone who’s going to ask insightful questions and help you get to see where your blocks are and where you’re getting caught up and kind of like not going through the evolution but staying stuck in one little spot. I just think that’s incredibly important.” [32:35]
Links
Carolyn Herfurth Website
The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Post-Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. So many people (all ages and from so many different countries) have taken the assessment to see to what extent they’re struggling. Almost everyone who takes the quiz struggles with some type of physical, mental, or emotional issue after their experience. What I see so often is our first line of defense is to take something to medicate, numb, distract ourselves, or to do anything just to try to mask the pain. But more often than not, this can manifest into something physical that can greatly affect our entire well-being.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- Know why it’s almost impossible to not have symptoms after a betrayal
- Learn the way out of the trauma from a betrayal experience
- Discover how the latest physical issues stem from the mental and emotional issues
Quotes
“When you think about it, isn’t a betrayal difficult to digest, absorb and process?” [5:14]
There are five stages you will go through, when you’re healing from betrayal. You can’t skip them. You can’t avoid them. You can’t change the order of them. It’s just what will happen as you move through it.” [9:40]
“What we need to do is heal it at the root.” [13:16]
“Even though it happened to you, it’s not about you.” [16:08]
Links
The PBT Institute Membership Community
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Scott Mason is the son of a Mid-western civil servant and a factory worker. History and triumphs against adversity led to his unlikely and unexpected success as an attorney, government official, entrepreneur, and community leader in one of the toughest cities on Earth.
He is currently a motivational and keynote speaker, small business consultant leadership mentor, with a publication of a book discussing resilience, the universal mind and toxic masculinity, which is set for publication later this year.
His journey has floated in the face of those who believed he could not and should not succeed. And it has given him zealot passion for ensuring that others never lose the internal fuel that will rocket them to ultimate levels of personal satisfaction and success.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
Learn what happens to us physically, mentally and emotionally when we shed the need for force
Discover how a lot of things relate to the thinking around toxic masculinity, and how people can use change.
Understand toxic masculinity and how it represents the characteristics that are associated with traditional versions of manhood
Quotes
“By belittling, domination and abuse of others, power for its own sake, not powerful instincts to further a social cause or to better the world.” [3:03]
“Change is sustainable because people are engaged with it, like it.” [5:47]
“I personally believe we’re at a profound inflection point around these issues, and our culture.” [8:38]
“They framed it in a way so that I never, as a child, my youngest ages, felt betrayed.” [13:00]
“At first, a challenge I’ve had earlier parts of my life is developing a sense of grievance, and holding on to that grievance.” [15:13]
“Acknowledging that I have fear as a man is for me, is very, very difficult” [17:36]
“Identity is the core of who we are.” [19:53]
“I would never have imagined that I would or could be an entrepreneur, I assumed, oh entrepreneurs, the people that work for themselves. They’re just doing that because they can’t work for other people, or everyone hates him.” [26:17]
“Don’t be afraid of change. If you feel like you need to change, you need to dive in, do it. Tomorrow is gonna be okay.” [29:12]
Links
Scott Mason Website
The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Post-Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. So many people (all ages and from so many different countries) have taken the assessment to see to what extent they’re struggling. Almost everyone who takes the quiz struggles with some type of physical, mental, or emotional issue after their experience. Nutrition and fitness may not be a priority as so many other issues need to be tended to but when we feel we’ve lost a sense of control, eating healthier and moving to happen to be two areas that help us regain a sense of control.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- Discover how nutrition and fitness are important components of the healing process
- See how gaining control over our health and fitness gives us a sense of control we lost due to a betrayal
- Learn how betrayal impacts physical, mental and emotional symptoms and how fitness helps get it back
- Know how a person can release trauma through somatic/body-based practices
Quotes
“The issues are in the tissues. Trauma gets stuck in the body, and it can be trauma from decades ago.” [3:14]
“There are different types of breathwork which can definitely help and make you feel so good.” [4:21]
“It can give you a sense of control during a time where you feel like control has been taken away.” [6:08]
Links
The PBT Institute Membership Community
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Dani Max has become an influential figure to many young adults because of her personal transformation at an early age. Her workshops, memberships, speaking events, products, and coaching programs are all designed to help other young people with their happiness, confidence, self-esteem and identity. Dani hopes to continue changing lives one person at a time about coming out happy.
Coming Out Happy is an 18+ online community where you can truly be yourself without judgment or fear. She offers weekly zoom events teaching passion, personal development, fun activities, and chats to give people the space to make friends feel confident and find the community they deserve.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- Learn the challenges of denying yourself your own truth
- Discover how to overcome the fear of losing the love and respect of the people important to you
- Understand how it is okay to be honest with yourself
Quotes
“I hated who I was growing up. I hated absolutely everything that made me who I was” [3:22]
“For so many years, I gained so much weight when I was in the closet when I didn’t feel authentic at all.” [6:17]
“I came out because I actually met somebody who was open about their sexuality in high school. And I think that’s really what changed. For me,” [8:18]
“I was testing the waters to see how our family would react.” [10:10]
“My labels have changed and that’s totally okay for anyone watching like to change your labels over time.” [11:49]
“I just wanted love.” [12:48]
“It was my fault to wait. But I’m glad that I did it regardless of whatever time.” [13:40]
“I was fortunate enough to have that and to have an accepting family.” [13:55]
“Because I was switching all of my negative thoughts about myself to just more positive stuff, every single thing started to switch just because of that.” [15:41]
“A lot of people who identify as LGBTQ plus, don’t have accepting families or they don’t have accepting friends. They don’t have anybody around them, to understand them and to give them the love and support that they deserve.” [19:43]
“Any age needs a group of people who love them, and we’re trying to provide that family to them.” [25:55]
“I think the biggest thing that people worry about when they do come out is that they’re going to lose people.” [29:06]
“If you’re not safe to come out, maybe that’s not the right time. But you deserve to be who you are when the time is right.” [29:51]
Links
Dani Max Website
Dani Max Instagram
The PBT Institute Membership Community
The Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Post-Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. Almost everyone who takes the quiz struggles with some type of physical, mental, or emotional issue after their experience. What I see so often is our first line of defense is to take something to medicate, numb, distract ourselves, or to do anything just to try to mask the pain. But it’s only when we: “face it, feel it, heal it” do we move through it. Unfortunately, so many people resign themselves to thinking that they’ll never heal, never be able to feel safe again, trust again, love again as they move forward feeling powerless and unhappy. Join me for this episode where you’ll see how you’re managing your experience and how you can make a few changes to feel so much better.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- Know up to what extent someone’s struggling in the course of the betrayal recovery process
- Learn why so many people stay painfully stuck after a betrayal
- Discover the many parts of the self that need to get rebuilt
Quotes
“What happens is we start believing all that’s been done to us, and then what we feed grows so then we’re feeding into all of this, and it keeps us stuck.” [1:51]
“Face it. Feel it. Heal it.” [4:44]
“But with a resignation of just accepting – this is as good as it gets; it’s like you’re handing the keys over.” [6:46]
“Where are you in this spectrum? Is it resignation? Is it a sense of powerlessness? You don’t have to feel that way.” [7:38]
“Be very careful of the energy in that space because if it’s keeping you stuck, it’s not going to help you heal.” [8:43]
“I could take this trauma that broke me (and as you know, whenever broken, bent), I can use it to transform to create the most magnificent self, level of health, work, finances, body relationships that I could ever expect.” [11:30]
Links
The PBT Institute Membership Community
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Jami and Marla Keller have a 97% success rate in keeping couples together and more passionate than ever individuals and audiences worldwide with their unique “Just stop it and be cherished” process. They are dedicated to keeping relationships together and building community leaders through retreats and coaching.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- Learn how to work on rebuilding your relationship after betrayal
- How to heal and what goes on after it
- Discover what the cost is in starting over and trusting again
- Know how forgiveness works
Quotes
“It’s not simple. It’s not easy. And it hurts like hell. But it is also very worth it.” [2:24]
“You get to the place where your story becomes more important than the relationship.” [12:10]
“Forgiveness is a choice first, and no, you can’t rush it. But you can’t put it off either. ” [24:29]
“If it doesn’t work, you are not a failure. Because it wasn’t about you.” [29:09]
“Don’t think that you’re doing the work, when you’re not.” [29:24]
Links
The PBT Institute Membership Community
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Jami and Marla Facebook Page
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
Post-Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. Almost everyone who takes the quiz struggles with some type of physical, mental, or emotional issue after their experience. If you’re in pain or if you’ve just experienced something extremely traumatic, get the help you need. It’s gonna be very draining and depleting, but it will take you to a higher level of fulfillment in overcoming a lack of confidence, low self-esteem, and insecurity.
Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn
In This Episode
- Learn all about the collective mind and how powerful it is when you give
- Discover how an opportunity can positively affect a person’s well-being
- Know why these beliefs are the root of everything a person does
Quotes
“Here are these people who are so hurt. They’ve been so blindsided by betrayal, they’re hurting so bad.” [2:19]
“When they had that opportunity to give, to serve, to help, all of a sudden – they felt better. They spoke up, they spoke out.” [2:27]
“They heal every time they teach.” [3:19]
“I’ve seen consistently how when we give when we’re of service, we heal. It’s so powerful.” [3:43]
“It’s your belief system. It governs and controls everything. It controls your actions, your habits, your behaviors, your thoughts, all of it.” [4:01]
“I just know how your beliefs, when you exchange them for ones that serve you so much better, take you to a much much better place.” [6:31]
Links
The PBT Institute Membership Community
Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz
Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn
