Dr. Corey Allan is a marriage and family therapist, author, speaker and licensed professional counselor with a Ph.D. in family therapy. He and his wife run Sexy Marriage, a podcast and online article resource that aims to help those experiencing difficulties in a partnership and provide resources to work through the dark days to experience more passion and trust in their relationships.

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Unfortunately, betrayal has become an increasingly frequent part of any relationship, and it is only by understanding the steps necessary to overcoming partnership betrayal that you can start making the steps that feel best for your unique situation. 

Corey believes that marriage is more about becoming a better human than it is about the two people being happy. And when you keep things simple, you can experience more in marriage and life. By learning how to trust yourself again, accepting the cyclical cycle of getting better and becoming a major player in your relationship for your own sake, you can earn back your free choice and start living a life that demonstrates that you are worth choosing. 

If you are ready to take the courageous step and ask yourself how your marital betrayal can be used for personal development, Corey is the expert for you. Are you ready to reanalyze what you thought maybe a dealbreaker in your relationship? Share what you learned from Corey in the comments below. 

In This Episode

  • How to view your betrayal like collateral damage rather than a personal attack
  • Individual and couple recommendations when experiencing a marital betrayal
  • Things that can move the needle on your partnership recovery journey
  • A peek into a general timeline for getting over shame, bitterness and more
  • Tips for rebuilding trust in a relationship and yourself after a betrayal 


“If they will buy into the fact that the relationship was co-created that helped create the dynamic to where an affair would occur. But whoever it was that was betrayed, it is not their fault, it was a choice by their spouse, by their partner.” (4:13)

“I am the therapist that I don’t hold people’s hands, I come straight at them. I figure you are paying money to get the truth, so lets not sugar coat stuff, that’s speaking to the best in people.” (12:38)

“This isn’t about what was done as much as it is the result, which is their hurt, their pain, their sadness, their disappointment, their grief, their whatever. Because what was has to be grieved, it was lost, so now we have to create something different.” (18:55)

“Affairs are actually symptoms of something else, they are not the main thing, they are a part of the main thing.” (22:33)


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093: Betrayal by One Thousand Cuts w/ Rachell Kitchen