Here’s a common question I hear often: Will I ever be able to move on from this betrayal? I want to assure you that healing and moving forward is not only possible, it’s predictable (although it may not feel like it in this moment.)
Betrayal has a way of shaking the foundation of trust and leaving deep emotional wounds. While the healing process is unique to each person, here are some insights and encouragement to support you on your journey:
- Acknowledge your pain: It’s important to honor and acknowledge the pain and emotions you’re experiencing. Allow yourself to grieve and process the hurt, anger, and disappointment that betrayal has caused. Give yourself permission to feel and express these emotions without judgment.
- Time and healing: Healing takes time, and it’s not a linear process (although moving through the proven and predictable 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough can shave years off that timeline). Some days may feel more challenging than others, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself and understand that healing unfolds gradually. Trust that with each passing day, you’re taking steps forward, even if they may feel small.
- Seek support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or someone highly trained in betrayal trauma (like a Certified PBT-Post Betrayal Transformation Coach or Practitioner) who can provide a compassionate and understanding space for you to share your feelings. Opening up to others and seeking their support can provide comfort, validation, and different perspectives on your healing journey. But, be careful who you open up to because the wrong type of support does way more harm than good because it can have you questioning yourself, feeling stuck if you join a group with a victim consciousness, etc.)
- Embrace self-care: Prioritize self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Engage in activities that bring you joy, peace, and relaxation. This could include practicing mindfulness, engaging in hobbies, spending time in nature, or indulging in activities that promote self-expression. Taking care of yourself is a vital part of healing and moving forward.
- Practice forgiveness (when ready): Forgiveness is a personal choice and can be a part of the healing process, but it doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the betrayal. It’s about releasing the emotional burden that the betrayal has placed on you and freeing yourself from the negative emotions that may hold you back. Forgiveness is a journey and may take time, so be gentle with yourself. When you feel obligated to move towards forgiveness too soon, it backfires every time (there’s a certain spot when moving through the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough where we’re more willing to take on the topic of forgiveness). It’s not to be rushed before you’re ready.
- Focus on personal growth: Use this experience as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Explore the lessons you can learn from this betrayal, the boundaries you may need to establish moving forward, and the qualities you value in healthy relationships. Redirect your energy towards your own personal development and aspirations.
- Embrace new beginnings: Remember that moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, but it does mean embracing new possibilities and creating a future that’s not defined solely by the betrayal. Allow yourself to dream, set new goals, and open yourself up to new experiences and relationships that align with your values and desires.
While it may be difficult to envision right now, you have the strength to heal and move forward from this betrayal. Trust yourself, lean on your support system, and be patient with the process. With time, self-care, and a commitment to your own well-being, you will find yourself on a path of healing and growth.
Whenever you’re ready, we have a predictable, research based and proven system, along with the most loving and supportive community on hand to lift, inspire, and help you move completely through your experience.
Wishing you resilience, healing, and a future filled with renewed trust and joy.
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute