How would life look if you could just be a little more fearless? Staying in your comfort zone keeps us safe, small and stuck. Moving past our comfort zone boosts our self-esteem too.

Becoming bolder doesn’t happen on it’s own, it happens when the fear is there…and you act anyway.

Here are some ideas to build your bravery:

  1. Avoid worrying what others will think of you. I think it was Wayne Dyer that said: “What you think of me is none of my business.” It’s so true. People will judge you anyway so don’t let that stop you from being uniquely and authentically you.
  2. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Unless you’re in danger of something tragic, there probably isn’t too much to worry about. We usually fear judgment and rejection and as Jack Canfield says in The Success Principles, “If you get a ‘no’, you’re no worse off than before you asked.” When you’re feeling fearful, figure out the worst possible outcome. If you can live with that, there’s nothing to worry about.

  3. Deal with smaller stressors and fears. The key to managing big fears is to deal with the smaller ones. Your mind will become accustomed to your new patterns of thought and action. Plus, the skill and confidence you gain by overcoming smaller fears will give you the ability to take on the larger ones.

  4. Change the words. The best way to overcome a fear is to reframe it and view it as not scary, just unfamiliar. Everything you did at first was unfamiliar and look at you now! Addressing something fearful as simply unfamiliar will give you the courage to see that this is just another one of those new opportunities you have yet to try.

  5. Play the odds. How many of your fears actually come true? Probably, not many. We give more power to the potential negative outcome than the positive outcome that’s just as likely. Play the odds and believe that you’ll be glad you moved past your fear.
  6. Realize that fear only happens between your ears. Almost all fears are unique. You might be afraid of snakes, but your friend isn’t. You might be afraid of heights, but your sister finds them exhilarating. In most instances, you are the source of your fear.

  7. Focus on the positive possibilities. Rather than thinking about every little thing that might go wrong, consider what might go right. Allow yourself to feel excited about the possibilities. Imagine how much more exciting your life would be if you give yourself the chance to have something amazing happen each day!
  8. View fear as a challenge waiting to take it on. Think of fear as the beginning of a game with fear as a signal that you’ve set out into a bit of new and unfamiliar territory. Now imagine navigating through the steps until you’ve accomplished what you were originally afraid of.

You can become less fearful and experience many more rewarding adventures when you take on your fear instead of letting it stop you. Regrets stink so if there’s something you’re wanting to say, do or become, don’t let fear stop you.

Start today by doing something you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t quite have enough courage to try, and show yourself that you’re ready to move past your fears…where life begins.

Dr. Debi Silber
Founder, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute

181: Setting Boundaries After Divorce w/ Wendy Sterling