I know what it feels like to ring in the New Year wondering if this next year will be much like the last…or the one before…or the one before.

You have the best of intentions and even start off strong, yet within a few weeks, those old habits kick in again leading you to think, feel, act and react the same way.

As if the betrayal weren’t painful enough, without changing things, you’re left with the physical, mental and emotional issues left in its wake. Things like:



Weight changes

Sleep disturbances

Digestive issues



Hormonal issues

I can go on and on.

But what’s worse is the longer you stay in a space of self-doubt, uncertainty, fear and more, the less confident you are that you can pull yourself out of it, let alone use the experience to transform.

A woman recently spoke with me. She was so desperate to heal from repeat betrayals from her husband. She realized that “if nothing changes, nothing changes” and was ready to get the help she needed to move past the heartbreak and heartache once and for all.

She joined us within The PBT Institute.

The next day, she emailed to say:

Her: “My husband thinks it’s a bad idea, he’s not supporting it and I can’t continue.”

Me: Really?? So he doesn’t support the idea of healing the physical, mental and emotional issues you’re sitting with because of the symptoms you have due to his betrayals? He’ll pay for things important to him (I couldn’t bring myself to say those things that she’d told me about) yet won’t pay for things important to you?

Her: No. He said I should have checked with him before spending the money.

Me: I’m going to say this as kindly as I can and I’m not trying to hurt or offend you but I want to be sure you see this clearly. Is it ok if I say something?

Her: Yes.

Me: So you need to check with him because that’s the rule you both agreed to and if you both honor that I totally get it. So let me ask you. Did he check with you before having his last affair?

Her: Of course not. I see what you mean.

Me: Tell me something. If you got well, what would you do?

Her: I’d leave.

Me: So I guess it kinda “works” for him when you’re not well?

Her: I guess so.

Me: You’ve told me about his affairs over the course of your 15 year marriage. You have a son. You told me you’re not able to be the mom you want because you can barely pull yourself out of bed, you’re never happy, always sad and anxious, and now your son is having issues at school and you told me you think it’s to get you to pay more attention to him. Doing exactly what you’ve been doing, and now deciding to continue doing more of the same, how do you see this progressing?

Her: I know. I know.

We wrapped it up ended the call.

Now, I guess I shouldn’t care. I should take the stance of: “I only want to work with people who are ready and just wish everyone else well.” That sounds great but that’s not true for me. I was furious. I was sad, I was frustrated, I was discouraged and defeated. And no, it wasn’t about the money and anyone who knows me knows that’s true.

I know that if she just said yes to herself, she’d already be well on her way to healing the symptoms brought about by one of the most painful of the human experiences…betrayal.

I know the shock of having the rug pulled out from under her…again, would begin to settle as she slowly realized it’s not her fault, not about her, and she could slowly stop associating his issues with her worthiness.

I know that as she moved out of the feeling of being so desperate, stuck, alone and hopeless, she could slowly move towards hope, community and healing.

I know with the right support, she could believe and trust in our incredible Certified PBT Coaches and community enough until she could believe and trust in herself once again.

These conversations shouldn’t bother me…but they do.

Watching someone live a life feeling sick, sad and stuck because they don’t believe in their ability to change just gets me every time. And before anyone judges me about: “Well, if she doesn’t have the money then she has no choice.” First of all, she did have the money. Secondly, I’ve worked with countless people who have managed to find the funds for things important to them. And, if they truly don’t have the funds, I have TONS of free material that can help too.

Do you want a repeat of the past (guaranteed if nothing changes) or are you ready to become the version of you who is so strong, healed, healthy, whole and confident BECAUSE of your experience?

My tech team is away for the holiday so I don’t even know how to create a discount code (this post is just pouring out of me so I didn’t want to wait) but if you’re ready to make 2024 the year you heal from your betrayal once and for all with a predictable and proven system to do just that, join us here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ for our Reclaim program (normally $997) and until January 1st at 11:59pmPST I will personally refund you $500 so you can take advantage of this incredible program and opportunity for half price (when you pay in full only).

Here’s that link again: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ . No discount code but you have it in writing that me (Dr. Debi) will personally refund $500 of your investment (pay in full orders only).

You deserve to heal. For yourself, for those you love, and because you matter.

Wishing you an amazing start to a great New Year filled with all you want and so much more.


Dr. Debi-A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and  National Forgiveness Day is a WBENC-Certified WBE (Women’s Business Enterprise), an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who helps (along with her incredibly gifted Certified PBT®-Post Betrayal Transformation® Coaches and Practitioners) a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.


349: A Mini Dose Of Dr. Debi: Beyond Talk Therapy, Betrayal Recovery, and Empath-Narcissist Dynamics