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How Helping Others Helps Us Heal

Hi, Dr. Debi here. As you may know, I help people heal physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually from the trauma of betrayal. Sometimes it just takes that word “betrayal” for you to realize, “Oh, my gosh, it was a betrayal? That’s what this is all about? I’ve been struggling with it for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years!”

We have the post-betrayal syndrome assessment on the site to see to what extent people are struggling. I read those results every day and see that people can be struggling for decades. What we know for sure is that it doesn’t go away without a plan and a strategy. When people realize that what they’ve been struggling with is a betrayal and that they can heal from it, they often want a hack, they want a way around it so they can heal more quickly and not waste any more time.

So here’s a really big hack and I hope it serves you because when you implement this, you will see your healing happen so much faster. Fair warning-it may sound a little counterintuitive but trust the process here. You ready?

It’s service, it’s giving, it’s in doing random acts of kindness.

I can already hear you saying: “Giving? I have nothing left, I feel so broken, how can I possibly give something to someone else?”

First of all, let’s start by saying you’re never broken…you’re temporarily bent.

But if you feel like you have nothing to give, how can you possibly give to others?

The act of giving, random acts of giving or whatever giving or service looks like for you simply accelerates your results. You just need to begin to see it for yourself.

I quickly looked up what can service do for you, and found an article, one of thousands that you can find for yourself. This one was in mentalfloss.com and it talks about seven scientific benefits from helping others. Here they are:

  1. Helping others can help you live longer. Which is a big enough incentive if you ask me.
  2. Altruism is contagious. You’ve probably seen this. You seen someone do something kind and it inspires you to do something kind as a result.
  3. Helping others makes us happy. Don’t you feel good when you help someone? Not because you feel obligated or because you feel you should, but when you want to help someone and you do, it just feels really good.
  4. Helping others may help with chronic pain. Especially when it comes to something like betrayal, you’re suppressing the immune system and igniting the stress response. Once that happens, you’re creating physical, mental, and emotional stress-related issues, symptoms, disorders, and chronic pain.
  5. Helping others lowers blood pressure. How many people are on medication to lower their blood pressure? Imagine if helping others can help reduce the amount of medication they take or if they can get off of the medication altogether.
  6. Helping others promotes positive behaviors in teens. Teens can go down many paths, but imagine if a teen is inspired to help others because they’re exposed to it, they’re learning it, and they’re seeing it from you. How great is that? Look at the path they’d be more inclined to travel because of what they’re seeing from your example.
  7. Helping others gives us a sense of purpose and satisfaction. So often after a betrayal, we feel lost, confused as we come to realize that life as we’ve known it no longer exists. Helping others and igniting a new sense of purpose and satisfaction within us as a result is an incredible first step.

It’s so inspiring that something like an act of service can actually serve as a catalyst to point you on a path towards your next, best step.  Of course, you need to do the work to actually heal the betrayal and our betrayal to breakthrough program can help you do that. This is just an additional hack that if you recognize you’re struggling with a betrayal, here’s a way to get through it a whole lot faster.

Do you have a story around how an act of service helped you? We’d love to know, comment and share!

Hope that helps and here’s to your healing.

Dr. Debi
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