January 9



If you’ve ever baked a cake, you know that if you put in fresh, delicious ingredients in the appropriate amounts at the appropriate time, you often create something delicious.

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You also know that while many tasty ingredients may be available to you and within easy reach, like mustard, pepper, garlic or vinegar, they simply don’t belong in your cake so you purposely and consciously choose to leave them out. If you were to add those ingredients to your mix, you wouldn’t expect a positive result. It’s all very logical and rational when it comes to baking, isn’t it?

So here’s a question. If you desire to create a “delicious” life, why is it that you’d add the ingredients that don’t work and often leave out the ingredients that would make life…delicious?

So many areas of life impact our “cake” from the food we eat to the people we spend our time with, to the thoughts we think. Here are a few “ingredients” that impact our recipes…

  1. What you eat. If your diet is made up of fast food, processed foods, and foods high in sugar, salt and fat, you can’t really be surprised if your body doesn’t look or feel its best, can you? Do you have enough liquid to make the batter moist and bake to perfection? What are you adding to your recipe – and will it produce the delicious end result you want?
  2. What you think. If you think you’re unlovable, unworthy or incapable, can you really be surprised if these thoughts encourage you to act or carry yourself a certain way? Maybe they’ll prevent you from feeling deserving of a loving relationship, cause you to feel unworthy of something fabulous or incapable of achieving a goal or dream. If negative thoughts are continuously playing in your mind, take a look at how they’re showing themselves within your life and how they are contributing to your “cake.”
  3. What you feel. If you feel overweight, unattractive or ill-equipped in some way, take a look at the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, what you do (or don’t do) and the relationships you have. Notice how these feelings show themselves in the clothes you choose, the opportunities you avoid and what you’re willing to tolerate in a coworker, friend or partner. Anger, doubt, frustration, revenge and other negative feelings are the equivalents of adding rotten eggs and sour milk to your “cake.”
  4. What you hear. If you’re listening to people who are negative, critical, pessimistic and judgmental, can you be surprised when you feel deflated, depleted and uninspired? Of course, you’re trying to be a good friend, you may even be the “go to person” when someone wants to gossip, needs to vent or complain. Begin to notice how you feel once this negativity is dumped on you and see how it’s holding you back from creating a scrumptious result.
  5. What you see. If you’re reading negative news or being “entertained” by shows filled with misery, pain, violence or vulgarity, are you surprised if that has an impact on you? The TV news is full of sensationalism and negativity. Sure you may be up to date on the latest tragedies and misfortunes but how do these visuals resonate with you? Do they make you feel calm, serene and comfortable or nervous, vulnerable and afraid? Consider how these ingredients are impacting your mix.
  6. What you do. If you’re doing little more than chores or tasks when you’re home and then fill your day with running errands or going to a boring and unfulfilling job, can you be surprised if you’re not excited about your life? If your life is crammed with tasks leaving no room for self-care, healthy eating, exercise, downtime, fulfillment, and fun, can you see how this may be showing itself in how you look, feel and live? Can you see how it’s creating an undesirable “cake?”
  7. What you believe. Your belief system is created by the repetition of an idea that you trust as the truth. Perhaps you were told, “you can be, do or have anything” and you’ve repeated this into a belief. Or perhaps you were told that you were not meant to be wealthy, happy, healthy or carefree. You may have heard that “life is a struggle” or that “everyone in our family has a fiery temper, is prone to heart disease, and has these big thighs.” With repetition, these thoughts become part of your belief system. Can you see how you live with limits when you go into your adult life carrying these beliefs? Take a look to see if you’ve unintentionally added some harsh ingredients into your “cake.”

All of these factors contribute to who we are, how we live and the results we produce. With awareness and a desire to change, we can slowly and steadily change whatever area doesn’t work well for us anymore.

It’s time to bake a scrumptious, mouthwatering and flavorful “cake” bursting with ingredients that make it appetizing and appealing. I’m going for a beautiful, decadent, double chocolate, rich, creamy, 7-layer cake. Gluten-free, of course:). You?


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About the author 

Dr. Debi

A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who’s created a proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

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