The 7 Disempowering Beliefs Holding You Back (And How To Change Them)
Do you ever feel like you’re stuck or not reaching your full potential? It’s so common to feel stuck after a betrayal and the shattering of trust from someone you’ve given your trust to. Once betrayed, it can be hard to move forward. We question our self worth, our self esteem plummets and we can even question if the entire relationship was a lie. These thoughts and beliefs lead to other disempowering beliefs that hold us back. Whether they’ve been around for decades or something that’s been driving your behavior recently, here are 7 common disempowering beliefs and how you can start changing them:
I’m Not Good Enough
This belief makes you constantly doubt yourself and prevents you from putting yourself out there. To change it, start celebrating your wins, focusing on your strengths, and replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Consider the times when you acted in a way that made you proud, where you helped someone or where your unique talents benefited you and others. It doesn’t have to be something huge, it’s actually the smaller things that matter most. Did you hold space for someone who needed to share what’s on their mind? Did you give your time, attention and support to someone who felt sad or lost? You never know how big of an impact these seemingly small actions have on someone else.
I Don’t Deserve Success
You may subconsciously sabotage opportunities because deep down you don’t believe you deserve them. Challenge this belief by making a list of your accomplishments and unique gifts. Then consider why is is that you don’t feel you deserve success? Where did that idea come from? We have a right to question all of our beliefs…especially the ones that don’t serve us.
I Can’t Reach My Goals
Holding yourself back because you don’t think you can accomplish something? Break big goals down into smaller action steps. Achieving mini-goals gives you positive momentum. Also, look back and remember times when you wanted to achieve something then put in the time and attention towards that goal. You did it back then and you can do it again.
I Never Win at Anything
A scarcity mindset like this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Shift your focus to abundance by counting your current blessings. Also, is that really true? Consider the little things-maybe you found the perfect parking spot on a rainy day, got someone to see your your side of the story, or gave someone struggling a moment of laughter. You may not consider this “winning” but who is making the rules after all?
Other People Will Hurt Me
Past betrayals can make you wary of opening yourself up again and that’s completely normal to feel that way. Healing comes from moving through the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, while slowly and steadily taking a chance on vulnerability. Start small by opening up to trustworthy family members and friends.
I Don’t Deserve Love
Where did this belief come from? Whose voice is saying this in your mind? Question it every time it rears its ugly head. Low self-worth can wreck relationships along with your health and basically everything else that matters. List your positive qualities and read it whenever old beliefs resurface. Also, surround yourself with people who appreciate you. Need a dose of unconditional love? Pets are incredible at giving and receiving unconditional love.
Life is Too Hard
Overwhelm and hopelessness drain any motivation for change. When you catch yourself going down this rabbit hole, get present. Focus on the next small step you can take rather than life’s big picture. When you focus on the smaller steps, you can see your progress vs. what you haven’t yet accomplished and progress will boost your optimism.
This is also a common belief after we’ve been betrayed but remember: Even though it happened TO you, it’s not ABOUT you. Healing from betrayal may not be easy, but it’ll show you just how strong you are as you recreate a version of yourself that wouldn’t have had the chance to be created if the betrayal didn’t happen. Not an easy way to learn something but a powerful one for sure.
The Takeaway
Your beliefs create your reality. Disempowering beliefs hold you back from the abundance, love, health, and happiness you deserve. By bringing awareness to self-limiting beliefs and taking steps to change your mindset, you can create the life you want. What belief will you choose to work on first?
Dr. Debi-A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche
Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who helps (along with her incredibly gifted Certified PBT-Post Betrayal Transformation Coaches and Practitioners) a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.