September 15

Behavior & Mindset


Hi, Debi Silber here. Here’s a question for you. Who are you spending your time with? It’s been said: “We are the five people we spend the most time with.” Think about it. You spend your day with people who either uplift and inspire you, or who drain and deplete you. You know who these people are by how you feel.

Think about it. There are certain people you spend your time with where you feel better for having spent time with them. You feel energized. You feel happy. You feel just good about the experience.

On the other hand, there are other people where you spend your time with them and you feel drained, depleted, exhausted. These people are energy vampires, zapping the living life out of you.

So who are you spending your time with?

Thinking about these negative relationships always reminds me of the visual of crabs in a bucket. Have you ever seen crabs in a bucket? It’s so interesting to watch them. You don’t even have to put a lid on the bucket. They are so content swarming around the bottom, stepping on each other and going nowhere.

If you look long enough, there’s always that one…hopeful crab. The crab that thinks that there may just be a better life outside of the bucket. Think about what happens next. Here’s that hopeful crab that makes the decision to climb. It’s climbing and climbing and climbing…and then what happens?

There’s alwaysanother crab that grabs it, yanks it right down as if to say, “Mm-mm, if I’m not going, either are you.”

My question to you is; “Are you hanging out in the crab bucket?” If so, you’ll know why you may be feeling drained, depleted, exhausted and spent.

If you realize this than it’s time to ask the next question: “How can I have more people who inspire me in my life?” You’ll feel uplifted and nurtured by being around them.

So take a look at those in your circle. Of course no one is perfect all the time but for the most part…are you hanging out in the crab bucket? If so, it’s obvious why you’re feeling the way you are. Make an effort to get out of the crab bucket. You cannot find your happiness, your joy, your peace when you’re being swarmed with negativity, judgment, criticism, complacency and more.

Everything you’re looking for in that crab bucket won’t be found there. It’s right on the other side. Hope that helps.

Are you spending time with energy vampires? Those that drain and deplete you? Have you done something to minimize your time with them? We’d love to know, comment and share!

Dr. Debi
Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz by clicking here

About the author 

Dr. Debi

A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who’s created a proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

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  • Yes Debi I feel like I’m in the Crab bucket. I spend most of my day with these people and I’m afraid to be happy in front of one of them. She likes to make you feel stupid and talk down to you. “We get it you are the smartest person in the room”. All I feel is dread when I have to go to work and see her and they are FAKE smiling and telling you how stupid you are all in the same smile. So yes I’m in the crab bucket.

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