Betrayal Is Not Like Other Traumas—And Your Clients Need You to Understand Why

As a coach, therapist, or healing professional, you’ve likely worked with clients navigating grief, divorce, loss, or illness. But there’s a specific type of trauma that feels fundamentally different—and if you’re not trained to recognize it, your clients may stay stuck for years.

That trauma is betrayal.

Unlike other life challenges, betrayal hits at the core of who we are. It doesn’t just break our hearts—it shatters our sense of safety, self-worth, and identity.

In my PhD study on betrayal, I explored what holds people back, what helps them heal, and what happens physically, mentally, and emotionally when someone they trusted deeply—partner, friend, parent, business associate—lies, cheats, or deceives.

And what I found changed everything.

Why Betrayal Feels So Different

You might assume that betrayal is similar to other traumas—like the death of a loved one, or a major diagnosis. That’s what I thought, too… until I lived through all three.

But betrayal felt categorically different. Still, I didn’t want to generalize from personal experience, so I asked my study participants:
“If you’ve been through other traumas, is betrayal different?”
The answer was unanimous: “Absolutely.”

Here’s why:

Because betrayal feels personal and intentional, it impacts the entire self.

Think about it:

Rejection
Abandonment
Confidence
Belonging
Trust
Worthiness

They’re all shattered in the wake of betrayal.

When you lose someone to death, you grieve—but you don’t question your sanity or your ability to trust.
With betrayal, you question everything—your judgment, your intuition, even your identity.

Introducing Post Betrayal Transformation® (PBT®)

One of the most important discoveries from my research was this:

Betrayal requires a completely different type of healing.

Not only must clients rebuild their life (as with any trauma), but they must also rebuild themselves—their beliefs, behaviors, identity, and self-worth.

This full-scope healing process led to the development of Post Betrayal Transformation® (PBT®)—a research-backed method that guides clients through the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough.

Most clients get stuck in Stage 3—survival mode. They’re functional but far from whole. And unless you know how to help them move through Stage 4 (adjusting to a new normal) and Stage 5 (healing and transformation), they stay stuck for years. Sometimes decades.

What Clients Can Expect to Lose (and Gain)

When you guide clients through PBT®, here’s what they lose:

Symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome®—including anxiety, hypervigilance, insomnia, brain fog, chronic pain
Old beliefs that said they were unworthy, unlovable, or less than
The stories that kept them playing small or stuck in victimhood
The tendency to attract relationships that don’t value them

Here’s what they gain:

Peace, clarity, health, and emotional resilience
Confidence, self-trust, and personal power
A new sense of purpose and possibility
Healthy relationships (with others and with themselves)
Creative energy for passion projects, business ideas, or reinvention
A 2.0 version of themselves they never knew was possible

Why This Matters for Practitioners

Traditional trauma recovery doesn’t address betrayal effectively.
You can use all the mindset work, somatic tools, and therapeutic strategies in your toolbox… but without a betrayal-specific approach, your clients may never reach full transformation.

That’s why we created the PBT® Certification Program—so practitioners like you can:

Learn to identify Post Betrayal Syndrome® and guide clients through it
Use the proven Five Stages model to create real breakthroughs
Help clients heal at the root—emotionally, physically, and spiritually
Stand out in your field as a certified betrayal recovery expert

If you’ve ever sensed that something deeper was driving your clients’ recurring patterns, this is the missing piece.

You Don’t Have to Guess. There’s a Map.

Your clients deserve more than symptom management.
They deserve a process that actually gets them free.

👉 Become a Certified Post Betrayal Transformation® Coach or Practitioner
Learn more and join us here.

Because staying stuck in survival mode isn’t healing.
And as Mary Oliver famously asked:
“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day is a WBENC-Certified WBE (Women’s Business Enterprise), an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who helps (along with her incredibly gifted Certified PBT-Post Betrayal Transformation Coaches and Practitioners) a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of shattered trust and betrayal.