Dr. Roberta Shaler is a relationship consultant, mediator, and speaker who provides intuitive and personalized care for relationships in crisis. She is on a mission to help people stop tolerating abuse, and has coined the category of ‘hijackels’. Dr. Shaler has dedicated herself to helping couples stop making themselves crazy while saving your sanity along the way.

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A self-described ‘life mechanic’ who welcomes relationships at all stages, Dr. Shaler prides herself on knowing what you need as a couple, asking couples the hard questions, and understanding the current and future state of your relationship.

Dr. Shaler is describing exactly what a ‘hijackal’ is, including their tendencies for manipulation and exploitation, how to educate, empower and gain new strategies to prepare yourself to leave a hijackal situation, and why we are attracted to this type in the first place.

It is important to develop a good sense of self, have non-negotiable boundaries and communicate them in order to stay alert and have healthy relationships. Dr. Shaler is here to give you the secrets to this and so much more. Let us know if you implement any of these strategies into your life in the comments section below!

In This Episode

  • How to know if you have been ‘hijackaled’ and how to heal
  • Strategies to encourage the other person to communicate
  • Ways to know if you have a relationship with a hijackal
  • The difference between difficult people and relentlessly difficult people
  • Love bombing, hoovering, and the signs to be wise for


“Everybody needs to know it’s absolutely normal for two human beings to not agree on everything, and you need some communication and conflict resolution skills, or at least some conflict management skills” (2:42)

“It’s important to know that going for help is a sign of strength. It’s a sign of saying ‘I really want this relationship to matter’.” (4:36)

“You are not in a position to judge, neither is the ‘Google Goddess’. So let’s not even pretend, But what we can talk about are patterns, traits and cycles” (10:10)

“I don’t call them victims, I call them unwitting prey. Because hijackals are predators. And so there you are just looking for love and wanting to believe the best in people and going the extra mile. And they are saying oh look there’s a hot one, I can control that one.” (18:38)

“When you find yourself in a relationship like that, and they are being all perfect and lovely on the outside and horrible to you at home, take off those rose-colored glasses and see the red flags.” (31:15)


How to Spot a Hijackal

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler Patreon

Dr. Roberta Shaler’s Products

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler’s Website

For Relationship Help YouTube Channel

Emotional Savvy Podcast

Save your Sanity Podcast

Other Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

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013: Getting Unstuck! How to Manage Your Mind, Make A Decision and Start Living Again! w/ Phaedra Antioco