May 16

Behavior & Mindset


Don’t ask for permission ask for support.

I remember learning that years ago from Jack Canfield – coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul, The Success Principles and more, and it really just stuck with me. It made so much sense.

Yesterday I was speaking with someone who was very interested in joining The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute. And so we’re speaking and her husband had an affair and she’s a mess; gut issues, she can’t sleep, she’s hypervigilant, she’s anxious. So she’s really interested in healing. And then she says, “I need to check with my husband.”

Now here are the two questions to consider.

Did your partner ask permission when they had the affair? Why are you asking permission to heal from it?

This isn’t a money issue-we have programs to work with our coaches in our community, we have free resources like the From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast, blogs, etc. so it wasn’t a money issue.

This is a self-esteem issue. A self-worth issue, a self-love issue, a fear issue.

I’ve found that there are two types of people. Those that have the “whatever it takes” attitude, and those who don’t. Those with the “whatever it takes” attitude, are heading for Post Betrayal Transformation, the complete and total rebuild of your life and yourself after betrayal.

Those that don’t are at risk of staying tragically stuck in Stage three (out of The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough). Because if nothing changes, nothing changes and here was someone who made a decision (out of fear, conditioning, etc.) to stay tragically stuck at this point in time in Stage three.

So don’t ask for permission. Ask for support. If you’ve been blindsided and you’ve been betrayed, your whole world has been up ended. You have two choices – heal stay stuck. You can allow it to become a defining moment in your story, or you can let it become your life’s story. Doing the research for the PhD study on betrayal I did, the answer became clear.

Staying stuck is a choice. There’s a proven and predictable roadmap to heal from all of it. It’s not available to some, anyone can move through the Five Stages From Betrayal to Breakthrough and create the new level of health, confidence, happiness, trust and love they want most.

You can and deserve to heal. You don’t need to walk around with health issues, anxiety, sleep and digestive disturbances, sadness, anger and pain. Betrayal impacts your health, your work, your relationships. It follows you around until you deliberately and intentionally take measures to heal it. Don’t ask for permission. Ask for support.

Dr. Debi
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute

About the author 

Dr. Debi

A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who’s created a proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

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