If you’ve been betrayed by someone you love, you know how painful it can be. This was the person you trusted the most. This was the one you told your deepest secrets to. This was the one you believed in, felt safe with, gave your heart to.

Then, in one earth shattering moment, you discover a painful truth. This person betrayed you and your trust. Maybe they were living a double life. Maybe they withheld the truth about where they were and what they were doing. Maybe they’re acting different than usual and in your search to find out why, you discover something that shatters your heart in a million pieces.

That’s what betrayal does. The shock, the pain, the confusion-it can leave us feeling like we’re crazy as we try to find solid ground again. Some of us never heal from this type of trauma. Some do the deep and hard work of moving through The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough.

When they do, they create a version of themselves that’s confident, strong, happy and whole. They created:

  • A version of themselves who never would have had the opportunity to show up had the experience not happen.
  • A version of themselves that’s ready for a new level of health, work or relationship they never would have had access to before.
  • A version of themselves they’re proud to know.

That’s Post Betrayal Transformation.

Post Betrayal Transformation is the complete and total rebuild of your life AND yourself after an experience with betrayal.

One of our members within The PBT Institute shared her before and after in picture form. It’s who she had been and who she is now, only 3 months into her transformation journey. 

And for those thinking it takes a really long time to heal, please hear this. Not necessarily. Of course you need to unpack and process lots of hurt, pain, beliefs and more. But, with the right type of support (the wrong type of support does more harm than good), the right tools, the right strategies addressing ALL of the areas impacted by the betrayal and more, you can create your Post Betrayal Transformation version of yourself in a short amount of time too.

We don’t just see this every day within The PBT Institute, my PhD study on betrayal proved it.

There were 3 groups in the study who didn’t heal. I falsely believed that the ones who were the hardest hit by their experience would grow the least because they had the most to overcome. That had NOTHING to do with their healing at all. In fact, the ones who had the “whatever it takes to move through this” approach blew the doors off of the ones who were either numbing and distracting, refusing to change their story, or who felt resigned that this was their “lot in life” and they don’t have the confidence/support/finances/etc. to do anything about it.

You can heal from ALL of it and just like Bethany in the image, you can create YOUR Post Betrayal Transformation version of yourself. It’s waiting for you when you say yes.

You’ve been through the worst of it already. You owe it to yourself to move fully through all 5 Stages…just like Bethany did.

Dr. Debi
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute


266: From Dependent to Independent after Betrayal and Divorce w/ Carmen Hunter