July 18

Behavior & Mindset


Trust is Fundamental

Trust is a fundamental aspect of our connections with others, and I understand the importance of regaining trust after experiencing betrayal or disappointment because it’s been completely shattered. Trust gives us a sense of safety and security. It allows us to feel secure, knowing that we have a safe space to return to when we need it. So what do we do when the very person who provided that sense of safety and security is the one to shatter it? We’re taking that on in this post.

Rebuilding Trust is a Gradual Process

Rebuilding trust is a gradual process that requires patience, self-reflection, and open-mindedness. It also requires a willingness to allow yourself to create something new, instead of simply ruminating on the past. Of course we need to extract any lessons the experience may have taught us but once we’ve taken all of the worthwhile nuggets from the experience, staying in that same space can become comfortable. Once it’s comfortable, we settle in even further which makes change even harder.

Instead of that approach, we’re going to explore ways to rebuild trust with the invitation that you’ll try at least a few of these strategies; slowly and steadily helping you rebuild trust once again.

With that, here are some steps you can take to rebuild trust:

Steps to Rebuilding Trust

  1. Start with self-trust: Cultivate a strong sense of trust within yourself. Reflect on your own values, strengths, and past experiences. Recognize the times when you’ve shown integrity, made trustworthy decisions, and honored your commitments. Building self-trust creates a solid foundation for trusting others.
  2. Heal from past wounds: It’s crucial to address any unresolved emotions or pain from past experiences. Take the time to heal and process your feelings surrounding the betrayal or disappointments you’ve faced. Engaging in self-care, seeking support from trusted friends or professionals (like a Certified PBT Coach or Practitioner), and practicing self-compassion will help in your healing process.
  3. Recognize patterns and red flags: Look back on your past experiences and identify any patterns or red flags that may have contributed to a breakdown of trust. This self-reflection allows you to gain insights into your own vulnerabilities and areas where you may have overlooked warning signs. Learning from these patterns helps you make more informed choices in future relationships.
  4. Set clear boundaries: Establishing clear and healthy boundaries is essential for rebuilding trust. Clearly communicate your needs, expectations, and limits in your interactions with others. Honoring your boundaries demonstrates self-respect and sends a signal that you expect the same level of respect in return.
  5. Practice open communication: Engage in open and honest communication in your relationships. Express yourself authentically and actively listen to others. Encourage transparency and create a safe space for others to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Effective communication builds trust and strengthens connections.
  6. Take small steps: Rebuilding trust is a gradual process that requires patience. Start by extending trust to others in small ways and gradually increase as trust is earned. This approach allows for a gradual and healthy development of trust in new relationships, minimizing the risk of being hurt again.
  7. Give others the benefit of the doubt (cautiously): It’s important to approach new relationships with an open mind and give others the benefit of the doubt. While it’s natural to have reservations after experiencing betrayal, it’s essential not to let past experiences taint your perception of every new person you meet. Remember that everyone is unique, and not everyone will betray your trust.
  8. Be trustworthy yourself: Trust is a two-way street. To rebuild trust, it’s essential to demonstrate trustworthiness in your actions and words. Be reliable, keep your promises, and act with integrity in all your interactions. Consistency in your behavior will establish a reputation as someone who can be trusted.
  9. Seek support and guidance: Rebuilding trust can be challenging, and it’s perfectly okay to seek support along the way. Consider reaching out to a Certified PBT Coach or Practitioner or other specialist certified in betrayal trauma who can provide valuable guidance, techniques, and insights tailored to your specific needs.

Remember, rebuilding trust takes time, and each person’s journey is unique. Be patient with yourself and others, as trust is earned through consistent actions over time. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to the possibility of building deep and meaningful connections, while also maintaining healthy boundaries.

If you have any further questions or need additional support, please reach out. Staying stuck isn’t fair to you and is preventing you from creating the fulfilling relationships you deserve.

Dr. Debi-A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who helps (along with her incredibly gifted Certified PBT-Post Betrayal Transformation Coaches and Practitioners) a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

About the author 

Dr. Debi

A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who’s created a proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

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