Zoe Niklas grew up enduring domestic violence, physical violence, emotional abuse, substance abuse, and sexual abuse. After multiple betrayals and traumatizing incidents involving both her mother and many stepfathers, Zoe harnessed her inner power and was able to break free at age 13. It wasn’t until she was finally taken in by a new family that she was able to embrace the healing power of love and create the life she knew she deserved.
Author of the book Driving In The Dark: A Childhood Memoir, Zoe is the true epitome of taking trauma and turning it into a life of purpose. Today Zoe is here to share her encouraging, insightful and uplifting perspective with you so that you can understand that even your darkest days can be healed through the strength of true love.
Throughout her journey, Zoe has used the power of the written word and theater to regain her memory, health, and happiness. From driving her mother’s car at 11 years old after she had experienced a seizure while running away to commit suicide, to finding hope and healing in the vision of life that she knew she was destined to live, Zoe’s incredible story is one of trial and triumph.
You can make it through the pain you are experiencing. By taking action and taking control of the course of your life, Zoe is here to provide you with inspiration to get you the help that you need and stop your suffering. How does Zoe’s story inspire you to take your biggest crisis and turn it into your greatest gift? Share how you related to Zoe with us in the comments below.
In This Episode:
“They never dissed me or said I was tarnished by my background. They loved me, and that love made me love myself.” (14:51)
“I heard a voice as clear as I am sitting talking to you, and it was like a man speaking in a megaphone in my right ear. And that voice said “get help now”.” (17:33)
“That’s why I say that I am the luckiest person in the world because I knew what I wanted and I followed the way to get there.” (21:47)
“Never stop, never stop trying to save yourself, don’t stop, keep going.” (24:39)
“I am sure there are kids out there that are just as hurt as I was, and I made it, and so I want them to know that it’s okay. You can hurt and you can do all of those things, but you can make it.” (27:39)
Have you ever heard of the DISC assessment? Midori Verity is one of the most innovative and successful marriage and communication coaches out there, who helps couples elevate their relationships by improving communication. Midori uses the DISC assessment to identify personality traits and help her clients adapt and adjust so that they can have a more peaceful and harmonious relationship, and is here today to share her knowledge with you.
If you are feeling unheard in your relationship or need help connecting, Midori’s insight into the four personality types can help you press the reset button and start to develop more support and synergy in your relationship. The DISC assessment can help you understand why your relationship is in trouble, assess what you need to do to move forward, and even help you when making decisions in the future.
By learning about what makes your personality type tick, you can better prepare yourself to find the job or relationship that suits you perfectly, and who doesn’t want that? When it comes to relationships, it is all about the Platinum Rule, which helps you speak the language your partner speaks so that you know you are both being heard and understood.
Are you ready to learn about you and your partner’s personality types and harness that information to start speaking each other’s languages? Share where you fall on the DISC assessment with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“We all have a different language, we all have a different behavioral style and personality type, and when we can match that, we are going to be listened to more, we are going to be received more, and our conversations are going to be much more successful.” (3:37)
“When you go through challenges in life, whether it’s in your relationship or outside of your relationship it doesn’t matter, but when we go through challenges and we feel stressed, we react differently, that’s why this is so important.” (11:02)
“In general, our natural graphs stay about the same, they will not change that much. But, we can learn techniques to help us improve in certain areas so that we can acquiesce in relationships.” (27:15)
“You have to kind of get to know what you are. I recommend for everybody to take a DISC assessment, even if you did before, take it again. And think about it from a relationship standpoint.” (28:29)
“The way that we see the world, is not how others see the world. So if you are bashing heads with your partner, often just some tweaks in the way that you understand them and the way you respond to them will diffuse situations.” (30:16)
I can hardly believe that we have reached the 100 episode milestone, and I know that you have learned a lot throughout the amazing array of guests I have been lucky enough to talk to. To celebrate I wanted to share with you the seven greatest lessons I have learned in the past 99 episodes, and provide you with a recap of some of the experts that may be worth revisiting depending on your topic of interest.
My goal is to provide you with an array of tools and amazing insights so that you can take off your rose-colored glasses and start moving the needle on your healing journey. Everything from divorce to forgiveness and essential oils has been covered in the past 100 episodes, and I am here today to highlight those that are going to help you live a confident and resilient life regardless of your betrayal history.
If you are ready to heal from your betrayal physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I am here to help you onto the path of true happiness. No matter what your betrayal you can come out on the other side, and it is through these seven greatest lessons that you can empower yourself to do so.
Are you ready to rediscover the fire within yourself and find the lesson you need to learn in order to heal? Share some of your favorite episodes with us and let us know what topics you want to hear more of in the comments below.
In This Episode
“Those were the episodes that I feel really shared the depth and importance of relationships and possibility, so if any of those resonated with you, go on in and listen to those again, you will get so much more out of it.” (17:49)
“While it may be impossible to eliminate all of the stress from your life, it is possible to train your brain to handle stressful situations with more grace and ease by employing tools such as regarding your mind before a stressful event and replenishing yourself afterward, you can build up your capacity to cope with the challenges of life.” (28:28)
“There are so many different tools that we can use to heal and that is why hopefully I want you to listen and relisten so that you can find the tools that work for you.” (31:57)
“Going through a betrayal impacts every part of us including physically, mentally and emotionally, and spiritually. When we are not able to heal and release the trauma, it can build up inside our cellular memory and cause illness, disease and unnecessary stress. It is only by treating our symptoms in a holistic way that we can begin to understand the mind-body connection.” (42:49)
“If you feel as though you wear a shield of protective armor that is hiding a fraud, its time to take off your battle uniform and live a life full of authenticity and happiness.” (1:09:22)
Dr. Corey Allan is a marriage and family therapist, author, speaker and licensed professional counselor with a Ph.D. in family therapy. He and his wife run Sexy Marriage, a podcast and online article resource that aims to help those experiencing difficulties in a partnership and provide resources to work through the dark days to experience more passion and trust in their relationships.
Unfortunately, betrayal has become an increasingly frequent part of any relationship, and it is only by understanding the steps necessary to overcoming partnership betrayal that you can start making the steps that feel best for your unique situation.
Corey believes that marriage is more about becoming a better human than it is about the two people being happy. And when you keep things simple, you can experience more in marriage and life. By learning how to trust yourself again, accepting the cyclical cycle of getting better and becoming a major player in your relationship for your own sake, you can earn back your free choice and start living a life that demonstrates that you are worth choosing.
If you are ready to take the courageous step and ask yourself how your marital betrayal can be used for personal development, Corey is the expert for you. Are you ready to reanalyze what you thought maybe a dealbreaker in your relationship? Share what you learned from Corey in the comments below.
In This Episode
“If they will buy into the fact that the relationship was co-created that helped create the dynamic to where an affair would occur. But whoever it was that was betrayed, it is not their fault, it was a choice by their spouse, by their partner.” (4:13)
“I am the therapist that I don’t hold people’s hands, I come straight at them. I figure you are paying money to get the truth, so lets not sugar coat stuff, that’s speaking to the best in people.” (12:38)
“This isn’t about what was done as much as it is the result, which is their hurt, their pain, their sadness, their disappointment, their grief, their whatever. Because what was has to be grieved, it was lost, so now we have to create something different.” (18:55)
“Affairs are actually symptoms of something else, they are not the main thing, they are a part of the main thing.” (22:33)
Joshua A. Shea is a recovering pornography addict who is here to shed a different light on the topic of porn addiction and what goes on inside the mind of a porn addict. Joshua’s 20-year addiction came to a head when he pulled himself off his bipolar medication and engaged an underage girl in an online chat room. Now sober, out of prison and still living with his wife and children, Joshua is here to explain the real motivating factors behind his own personal porn addiction.
For Joshua, it was never about the pornography or the alcohol but instead about the control he gained from using this material. If you have been hurt by someone’s porn usage or want to gain a better understanding of the decision-making process of a pornography addict, this is an episode you need to listen too.
Despite the fact that many adults look at pornography, it is a topic that nobody wants to talk about. Joshua wants to open up that conversation and shine a light on the problem of pornography addiction to help others who may be struggling as well. If you are the spouse or the partner of a pornography addict, Joshua wants to make sure that you know that it has nothing to do with you and provide you with insights to help you understand that there is no stereotypical addict.
Do you or somebody that you love struggle with pornography addiction? Share this episode with them and let us know how transformation has proven possible for you in the comments below.
In This Episode
“Pornography and alcohol, they both allowed me to escape someplace else. They allowed me to go somewhere where I was in control. And that ultimately is what my pornography addiction specifically was about my entire life.” (5:07)
“I think I even made the joke back then that all of these different people would only ever meet at my funeral, and they would all have very different stories to share with one another because they all knew different versions of me.” (10:46)
“Despite the magazine falling apart, despite the fact that I was drinking more and my relationships with my family were falling apart, life was crumbling, and the one place that I could exert control was in the middle of the night in these chat rooms.” (17:10)
“I don’t blame the addiction for what I did. The addiction did make me get out of control, it did make me not recognize cause and effect and not recognize what could happen and make poor decisions. However, I made the very poor decision to pull myself off my bipolar medication.” (21:41)
“Despite the fact that the vast majority of people are looking at pornography, everybody wants to pretend that they don’t. And if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, I am not even saying addicts, but if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, how can we even begin to have conversations about pornography addiction?” (29:12)
Dr. Sheri Keffer‘s life came screeching to a halt when she found out that her new marriage to a pastor was filled with pornography, affairs, and prostitutes. Now a clinical sex addiction therapist and EMDR practitioner in addition to her audience of over two million people per week on her regular co-hosting gig at New Life Live, Dr. Sheri knows what it takes to heal and helps others realize that they are not alone, not crazy and can heal after sexual betrayal.
The way men and women experience sexual betrayal is very different, and it is only by engaging in a total truth-telling process that you can work to heal yourself and your relationship. The physical and mental symptoms of betrayal can seem overwhelming, but when you equip yourself with the right boundaries and ability to see the truth for what it is, healing is possible.
The process of rebuilding starts with you first, and it is Dr. Sheri’s mission is to give betrayed partners a roadmap to healing and recovery. With tools like EMDR and therapy, Dr. Sheri is here to tell you that you are worth fighting for and it is possible to rebuild with or without the person that hurt you as long as you have the truth first.
Have you or a loved one experienced sexual betrayal? How do you relate to Dr. Sheri’s story of deception and healing through exposing the truth? Share your story with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“All of it hurts, but the more intimate, the more emotional, the longer that relationship is, the more compulsive the sexual behavior is. It is harmful to us.” (4:59)
“At some point, I had to wake up from this nightmare I was living in that I really didn’t want to look at.” (10:34)
“A partner who is betrayed needs two things that are critical to heal, like two pillars, they need safety and they need the truth. And until they have those two things, a betrayed partner cannot settle into their body.” (19:17)
“The first step of recovery, whether you are staying with your partner or not, is recovery for yourself. Because you can’t fight for that relationship if you are lying flat on the ground.” (28:32)
“We have to be very proactive in getting in front of good therapists that know what they are doing with sexual deception.” (28:10)
Dr. Alexandra Stockwell is a physician turned relationship and intimacy expert who helps committed couples shift their mindset and find the emotional and sensual intimacy that they crave. After watching her nine-year-old daughter’s zest and vibrancy for life, Alexandra realized that she needed to find that spark within herself again if she wanted to foster a healthy and happy life for her children.
Many people view a long term relationship as a place where passion goes to die, but when you are able to shift your mindset and find peace within yourself, you can bring pleasure and purpose to all aspects of your life.
In this episode, Alexandra explains how children of divorce can often share similar looming thoughts and feelings, how you can be inspired by prioritizing yourself and your connection with your partner and explores the uncharted territory of life after betrayal to be truly honest with the reality of your relationship.
If you want to find hope in intimacy after betrayal, re-establishing your connection as a couple or find the courage to address the real issues within yourself and your relationship, Alexandra is the expert for you. How do you address your own internal betrayals that may be sabotaging your happiness? Share with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“I knew that if she continued to grow up in my presence, living at home for another nine years, there was no way that she could sustain all of her radiance because there was a part of me that was uncomfortable and unsatisfied.” (7:21)
“Once we have a particular identity… it’s like it ends out vibrations and then things happen that reveal that to us.” (15:01)
“When you want to be great at innovation, there are all kinds of people you might learn from, Elon Musk or whatever. The same thing in sports, in music, but when it comes to relationships, there really is a lack of models worth emulating.” (20:25)
“I want to be able to give people a sense of where to move towards no matter where you are starting.” (30:42)
More often than not, trauma gets stuck inside our bodies, and we need to get it out in order to begin to heal and move on. Devorah Steinberg is an LICSW, therapist, love coach and spiritual seeker who has dedicated her life to helping others reach their goals in love, spirit, and their life purpose. After a deeply personal spiritual journey helped Devorah find clarity, and true love, she created the Wise Woman Path to Love. Now, she is dedicated to helping her clients through online and in-person coaching in order to heal patterns of self-betrayal through mind-body approaches.
Devorah believes in the ability of mind-body practices such as yoga, hypnotherapy, and bottom-up processing in order to help yourself get unstuck. When you can forgive yourself for the ways in which you betray yourself, you can trust your intuition and avoid heartache.
It is all about the people, techniques, and healing that can help you move past your betrayal. Providing an arsenal of tools to reach out and try, Devorah is here to help you find what works for you and move from a place of darkness to freedom and light.
Have you tried any of the practices or techniques Devorah discusses on this episode? Let us know your experiences in the comments below!
In This Episode
“I started out with that deep draw to the mystical. And to what is going on at the core, at the seed, going deeper and deeper and deeper” (2:23)
“If you are focused on just giving and there is no giving and receiving to the depth of that level of balance, guess what’s going to happen? You’re not going to receive” (8:29)
“After 25 years of searching and literally feeling like I was banging my head against the wall, three months later everything changed” (10:50)
“No matter how long you have been feeling stuck, wherever you are there is a place to heal. You are not forever bound to be in this place” (26:27)
When healing from a betrayal there are endless ways that you can help yourself, including cleansing the spaces you spend time in. From your home to your work, Feng shui could be the answer to getting rid of past negative traumas and embracing a new version of yourself. Kim Julen is a Feng shui expert, psychic, angel card reader and love activist who helps others find harmony in their head, heart, and home.
Creating a healing space in your home or office can work wonders for your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing. Kim is here to teach us about the process of Feng shui, which areas of your home can be affected by different types of conflict or betrayal, and how to create an environment that energetically supports what you want to have in your life.
If your space feels like it is keeping you down, it is time to cleanse and neutralize your environment to get rid of the past betrayal and find peace. When you can utilize Feng shui to harmonize your workspace, home life and most importantly, your life, you can create a space that reflects the life you deserve.
Which Feng shui tip are you most excited to implement in your space? Share how you are working to cleanse your environment in the comments below!
In This Episode
“Doors are the voices of the adults. And if you have doors that are squeaking, get some WD-40 out and oil them because that will help calm down the complaining.” (24:35)
“I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you. And you will see it in different ways, I like to have the I love you first. Because on a soul level, we all really do all love each other.” (26:56)
“Really truly, forgiveness is really about loving yourself. It really isn’t about loving the other person, but whenever that thought or that person comes into your mind if you are saying ‘I love you’, that’s expressing love to yourself.” (28:38)
“If there is chaos going on in your life, most likely there is chaos going on in your space as well.” (29:22)
After working as an ER doctor specializing in surgery for over 10 years while attending acupuncture school, Dr. Shiroko Sokitch found that her calling was leading her into the spiritual and emotional healing of Chinese medicine. She opened Heart to Heart Medical Center as a way to bring the many modalities of Chinese and Western medical practices together to bring her clients back to balance and wholeness. Dr. Shiroko Sokitch is truly the doctor who cares about you and is here today to share her wisdom on whole body connectedness and how to bring hope and healing to difficult health conditions.
If you have ever been curious about how Chinese medicine works to connect your physical and emotional symptoms to find whole body healing or enjoy hearing about the transformative power of love, Dr. Shiroko is the woman for you. Find out how betrayal can impact your gut and create lasting health issues, why you need to be taking care of your triangle of wellness, and the truths behind Dr. Shiroko’s 7 Keys to Defying the Odds.
By viewing your body as an interconnected roadmap, and targeting the root cause of your physical health issues, you can unlock the deep emotional scars that may be playing a role in your symptoms. If you can accept our innate human need to love and learn to give love in return you can begin to receive the healing benefits and balance the rest of your life accordingly. Dr. Shiroko is here to help you realize the connection between the mind and body, and your ability for greater healing.
Have you experienced physical ailments as a result of a betrayal? Share your story in the comments section below!
In This Episode
“Betrayal is a big deal. And there are many levels of betrayal. And on some level, when you have certain betrayals, you feel completely betrayed by life.” (7:50)
“Chinese medicine involves your emotion and your spirit and your physical body. And so that is all incorporated into an acupuncture treatment, it helps shift the energy.” (14:23)
“For me, it’s about love, like the number one thing is love. And what saved me when I was in that darkest moment was the love of the people in my life.” (18:07)
“The Chinese medicine idea of Chi, I call it love. The energy that holds our cells together, the energy that runs our lives, its love.” (20:21)
“Everything happens for a reason, and when something horrible happens it is really hard to believe that there is a reason. And sometimes you can’t see it until the end until you have gotten all the way through it.” (27:02)
After a childhood filled with family members struggling with addiction, Greg Johnson overcame these betrayals and has since dedicated his life to helping others learn how to forgive. A sober specialist in Los Angeles, Greg helps his clients rehab their hearts to find the power to stay sober.
Today we are undressing all the ways in which betrayal can be related to addiction, how Greg’s own first-hand experiences with substances helped him to forgive those who wronged him, and why you should embrace your emotions instead of run from them. Learn about why you should consider prayer and meditation to assist your healing, how to shift your perspective to open your heart, and why you need to feel it to heal it.
No matter what, healing is possible. The journey to forgiveness and acceptance can be a struggle, but you do not have to go through it alone. When you open yourself up to help, you can begin to breakdown the barriers built up by betrayal and/or addiction, and start the path to true happiness.
What part of Greg’s story most inspired you? Let us know your thoughts on this episode in the comments below.
In This Episode
“The persons that are supposed to love one the most, they are the very person that is hurting the person the most. And that betrayal is just so deep, and it took a long time to process through that betrayal and the trauma of it” (2:39)
“Going through my own experimentation first hand, it allowed me to not just have compassion, but to truly have empathy and to understand the power of addiction.” (4:48)
“I couldn’t heal my own behaviors if I did not forgive and do that deep healing and forgiving work with my father. And that was the very thing that set me free.” (9:56)
“If we can just sit and be still and allow those feelings to move through us, the greatest gift is awaiting us on the other side.” (13:15)
“I said yes, I need help. And the flood gates opened up and that’s when my life transformed and I was able to heal, forgive, and move to a place of absolute peace joy and love with this horrific life experience.” (16:11)
After finding herself in an abusive relationship that she wasn’t quite sure how she got into, Brittany Blomsterberg realized she had to fully accept and love every part of herself in order to gain the strength to put herself first and get out. Today’s episode is about loving all the parts of yourself, the good the bad and the ugly, because all of those emotions are part of what makes you, you.
When you start to lose yourself you may begin to feel trapped. While your intuition is trying to get your attention, it can be hard to listen for if you don’t know the right signals. Brittany is sharing all the ways you can begin to ask yourself questions that will guide you in the direction you want to go.
Once you are able to look at your relationships and start making sense and meaning out of your situation, you can then begin to lead yourself to forgiveness. By embracing every component of yourself, including the darkness, you can be a more integrated and accepting person.
What did it take for you to fully accept and love yourself? Let us know in the comments below!
In This Episode
“During the situation, I knew something was off like energetically I could feel it. But I didn’t have the language and I didn’t understand exactly what that was.” (1:53)
“There is an enmeshment there, and it’s an identity. You know, losing your identity and if you start to become one with this other person who doesn’t have your best interest, you know you can get very easily lost.” (5:15)
“It took me feeling empathetic for myself first. I started being gentle with me, and I started to acknowledge that there was nothing wrong with me.” (10:43)
“I do believe that this particular situation helped me so much in being able to support others in the abuse cycle. Especially women who feel like they’re extremely strong and intellectual, and ‘how could I get here how could this happen?’” (16:10)
“Its a check engine light. It’s telling you something that you need to pay attention to support your entire system. So listen to it, check in with it, be curious about it. Don’t avoid it, don’t be mad at it, don’t disregard it. That is your own intuitive way of being able to protect yourself, support yourself, and making sure you are guided to what is most loving for you.” (19:33)
Contact Brittany at firstname.lastname@example.org