Why do we sabotage ourselves and what could possibly be the benefit? Change is scary, it creates a new awareness, a new perspective. It poses a huge threat to what’s been so comfortable and familiar, even if what’s so comfortable and familiar––stinks.
As if this weren’t bad enough, now you’ve ignited the stress response…creating this cascade of stress-related illnesses, conditions, and even disease. We often believe that it’s so much easier to just go numb. People do this through work, alcohol, drugs, tv––you just want to keep the feelings down, but they just keep coming back up again.
These are some of the questions or doubts you may ask yourself in an effort to prevent change:
Will these changes lead me to lose my friends?
Will I lose my job security?
Will friends and family think I’m selfish or crazy?
Will I have to deal with judgment or criticism while at the same time deal with my own self-doubt about what I’m up to?
These are good questions because being honest about what you want, is hard and actually making those changes? That’s even harder.
You think of how these changes could impact so much, they could create a snowball or domino effect. Due to this, you do everything you can to make the feelings go away––until you can’t.
Then there’s a moment that happens. The moment where the pain of where you are, becomes greater than the fear of the unknown. In this sacred and deeply personal moment, you make the decision that the risks are great but the rewards…they can be so much greater. You have something important to share and you can’t share it if you’re standing still. You know that you can’t move forward until you let go.
A decision is made and that’s the moment change happens. What do you feel after?
You feel like a rockstar. Now, you are inspired. Motivation and momentum are on your side and inspiration is taking over. You realize that you just burst through your comfort zone, where life begins. This is the ultimate drug because you’re high on your own growth. You see and feel the impact that your growth is having on you and those around you, and it fuels you even further. You sound different. You sound more confident, empowered, and inspired. You have more energy. You are being fueled by your own idea, your own mission, your own potential. You realize you can do great things. You realize you have something important to contribute. You realize you can make a difference, and you realize that you love who you’re becoming––and that’s because you learned to kick that sabotage to the curb. If you ask me? This is all an idea worth spreading and worth doing. Check out one of my recent podcast episodes where I talk about a new way to define success.
Dr. Debi Silber
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute