If you ask me, fear is the biggest reason we stay stuck in our lives. While fear is at the root of almost everything, it is only by understanding the differences between irrational and realistic fears and constructive and destructive fears that we can reach the power of transformational fear. Dr. Carla Marie Manly is a clinical psychologist, author, and advocate who is here today to help us understand the different types of fear, how to work with them, and how to minimize them so that we can take action in a way that serves us best.

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With a direct and honest approach with a dose of humor, Dr. Manly is here to help you navigate the soulful adventure into self-awareness. Instead of getting used to the voice of destructive fear that is prevalent in our society, Dr. Manly wants you to slow down and regain your power over your fear. 

When going through a betrayal it is easy to stick to what you know and stay in your pain because it is familiar. Through the application of Dr. Manly’s strategies, you can start to strengthen the constructive over the destructive and stop giving your betrayal wiggle room. It is possible to overcome what is keeping you stuck, and with the help of Dr. Manly, you can gain insight into this challenging topic and find a way to focus on your optimal wellness. 

The feelings you are having are universal and nothing to be ashamed of. By pushing through the shame you can start on your journey to healing and the joy that has been in you all along. Are you ready to allow yourself the power of knowing that through perseverance you can find the other side of fear? Share what gave you the most hope from Dr. Manly’s advice in the comments below. 

In This Episode

  • Discover the different types of fear and the ways that you can identify them
  • How to listen to the many voices of fear when going through a betrayal 
  • Why putting something in writing can start to squash your destructive fear
  • The importance of becoming a part of a collective of women for support
  • Tips for managing your fear and pushing through your shame


“Unfortunately in this day and age, many of us are being riddled with irrational fears, unrealistic fears, that keep us from change, that keep us stuck and immobilized in life.” (3:05)

“This is the beautiful part about destructive fear. Destructive fear does not like the light. Destructive fear does not like clarity. Destructive fear does not like written agreements at all because destructive fear likes to be able to be manipulative and sneaky.” (12:56)

“When we make goals for ourselves, when we put things in writing, it becomes much more understandable for the psyche. That is why so many of us will make wishlists in our heads or think in our heads and not want to put it in writing. Because the minute we put something in writing, we feel a sense of clarity and accountability.” (19:04)

“There is something beautiful and connective about being held in a safe place where you can hear other women’s stories. Their lows, their successes, and know that if they can do it, I can do it too.” (21:48)

“Everything is to do with a reminder to the self when you get weak, that these are real things that happen. Is that in line with the kind of life I want in my future?” (26:20)


Dr. Carla Marie Manly Website

Joy From Fear by Dr. Carla Manly

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118: Betrayed by Chronic Illness w/ Inna Topiler