A very well-known author posted on their Instagram page, something about betrayal. He said you cannot heal from it. And a member of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute was following him and said, “Yes you can” and tagged me so this way I can see what was going on in the conversation.
It’s not right for me to be teaching on someone else’s page but I did read the comments. What I read was shocking and disheartening. There were comments such as “You can never heal from it,” “the only thing that heals it is time,” “the only thing that helps is a new relationship.”
Oh no! That’s not true. You cannot count on time and you cannot count on a new relationship to heal betrayal. That does not work. With unhealed betrayal and shattered trust, you need to be deliberate and intentional about healing. Otherwise, it will follow you around like a shadow. It will follow you in your relationships, in your work, in your health.
To heal:
1. You need the right type of support (the wrong type of support does more harm than good).
2. You need to address every level that’s been impacted by the betrayal (physical, mental and emotional)
3. You need to move through the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough.
Don’t count on time or a new relationship to heal betrayal if you want to heal it at the root. If you do, you’re only “treating” the symptoms. You need to do the work to move through the betrayal fully and we have our Trust Again Intensive coming up. This is going to be the fifth or sixth time we’ve hosted the Intensive. We get to the real issue – which is shattered trust and so much more.
Do not count on time or new relationship to heal betrayal. That’s not how you overcome betrayal and it doesn’t work. If you want to fully heal, you need to heal from the roots with the right protocol, tools, strategy and support. That’s when you take what had become your life’s story, and turn it into a pivotal chapter of your next story.
Dr. Debi
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute