Jodi Cohen is one of the bravest people I know, and one of my personal heroes. After losing her son in a devastating accident only 18 months ago, Jodi had to deal with not only the betrayal of expectations when you become a parent, but also the ripple effect her family’s story sent through her community.
An award-winning journalist, best selling author, functional practitioner, and founder of Vibrant Blue Oils, Jodi has combined her life experiences, training in nutritional therapy, and aromatherapy to create unique proprietary blends of essential oils that have helped tens of thousands of people.
Jodi is all about gaining an understanding of post-traumatic growth and helping others focus on moments of clarity and relief. By getting out of the state of anger created by your mind and emotions, Jodi believes that you can get unstuck and heal in a real and authentic way. If you want to gain an understanding of the many layers of healing that take place, how to deal with outsiders and friends after a betrayal, or gain a sense of Jodi’s strength and resilience, this is the episode for you.
A topic that nobody ever wants to deal with, but that is so important to shed light on, Jodi is here to provide guidance, love, and most importantly, understanding. Do you know someone who would resonate with Jodi’s story? Tag them in the comments below.
In This Episode
“Who goes out there and publicly broadcasts that you are a hot mess? Who that loves you is going to do that when you are in your deepest darkest hour? It is someone who really liked external validation, really liked the kudos that she got from being able to say she was supporting me.” (10:34)
“There was nothing in between, it was almost like the volume was on mute, or the highest decibel ever. And so just trying to navigate that so that you had more options, more speeds than just super low or super high, by helping yourself kind of center and ground with the oil.” (17:15)
“Its almost like you have to feel safe to really release. Because I think anger is the top layer of fear and sadness, and its almost like a tough nut to crack. Once you can get through that anger, then you can get to the core of the issue, and you can start to release it and move out of it.” (20:20)
“There are always new learning and new skills and peeling off the onion.” (22:32)
“I want to make sure everybody knows that they are not alone, that there is no shame. This is not something that they chose, and that there are periods that will be better, this is not forever.” (30:27)
Zoe Niklas grew up enduring domestic violence, physical violence, emotional abuse, substance abuse, and sexual abuse. After multiple betrayals and traumatizing incidents involving both her mother and many stepfathers, Zoe harnessed her inner power and was able to break free at age 13. It wasn’t until she was finally taken in by a new family that she was able to embrace the healing power of love and create the life she knew she deserved.
Author of the book Driving In The Dark: A Childhood Memoir, Zoe is the true epitome of taking trauma and turning it into a life of purpose. Today Zoe is here to share her encouraging, insightful and uplifting perspective with you so that you can understand that even your darkest days can be healed through the strength of true love.
Throughout her journey, Zoe has used the power of the written word and theater to regain her memory, health, and happiness. From driving her mother’s car at 11 years old after she had experienced a seizure while running away to commit suicide, to finding hope and healing in the vision of life that she knew she was destined to live, Zoe’s incredible story is one of trial and triumph.
You can make it through the pain you are experiencing. By taking action and taking control of the course of your life, Zoe is here to provide you with inspiration to get you the help that you need and stop your suffering. How does Zoe’s story inspire you to take your biggest crisis and turn it into your greatest gift? Share how you related to Zoe with us in the comments below.
In This Episode:
“They never dissed me or said I was tarnished by my background. They loved me, and that love made me love myself.” (14:51)
“I heard a voice as clear as I am sitting talking to you, and it was like a man speaking in a megaphone in my right ear. And that voice said “get help now”.” (17:33)
“That’s why I say that I am the luckiest person in the world because I knew what I wanted and I followed the way to get there.” (21:47)
“Never stop, never stop trying to save yourself, don’t stop, keep going.” (24:39)
“I am sure there are kids out there that are just as hurt as I was, and I made it, and so I want them to know that it’s okay. You can hurt and you can do all of those things, but you can make it.” (27:39)
Have you ever heard of the DISC assessment? Midori Verity is one of the most innovative and successful marriage and communication coaches out there, who helps couples elevate their relationships by improving communication. Midori uses the DISC assessment to identify personality traits and help her clients adapt and adjust so that they can have a more peaceful and harmonious relationship, and is here today to share her knowledge with you.
If you are feeling unheard in your relationship or need help connecting, Midori’s insight into the four personality types can help you press the reset button and start to develop more support and synergy in your relationship. The DISC assessment can help you understand why your relationship is in trouble, assess what you need to do to move forward, and even help you when making decisions in the future.
By learning about what makes your personality type tick, you can better prepare yourself to find the job or relationship that suits you perfectly, and who doesn’t want that? When it comes to relationships, it is all about the Platinum Rule, which helps you speak the language your partner speaks so that you know you are both being heard and understood.
Are you ready to learn about you and your partner’s personality types and harness that information to start speaking each other’s languages? Share where you fall on the DISC assessment with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“We all have a different language, we all have a different behavioral style and personality type, and when we can match that, we are going to be listened to more, we are going to be received more, and our conversations are going to be much more successful.” (3:37)
“When you go through challenges in life, whether it’s in your relationship or outside of your relationship it doesn’t matter, but when we go through challenges and we feel stressed, we react differently, that’s why this is so important.” (11:02)
“In general, our natural graphs stay about the same, they will not change that much. But, we can learn techniques to help us improve in certain areas so that we can acquiesce in relationships.” (27:15)
“You have to kind of get to know what you are. I recommend for everybody to take a DISC assessment, even if you did before, take it again. And think about it from a relationship standpoint.” (28:29)
“The way that we see the world, is not how others see the world. So if you are bashing heads with your partner, often just some tweaks in the way that you understand them and the way you respond to them will diffuse situations.” (30:16)
I can hardly believe that we have reached the 100 episode milestone, and I know that you have learned a lot throughout the amazing array of guests I have been lucky enough to talk to. To celebrate I wanted to share with you the seven greatest lessons I have learned in the past 99 episodes, and provide you with a recap of some of the experts that may be worth revisiting depending on your topic of interest.
My goal is to provide you with an array of tools and amazing insights so that you can take off your rose-colored glasses and start moving the needle on your healing journey. Everything from divorce to forgiveness and essential oils has been covered in the past 100 episodes, and I am here today to highlight those that are going to help you live a confident and resilient life regardless of your betrayal history.
If you are ready to heal from your betrayal physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I am here to help you onto the path of true happiness. No matter what your betrayal you can come out on the other side, and it is through these seven greatest lessons that you can empower yourself to do so.
Are you ready to rediscover the fire within yourself and find the lesson you need to learn in order to heal? Share some of your favorite episodes with us and let us know what topics you want to hear more of in the comments below.
In This Episode
“Those were the episodes that I feel really shared the depth and importance of relationships and possibility, so if any of those resonated with you, go on in and listen to those again, you will get so much more out of it.” (17:49)
“While it may be impossible to eliminate all of the stress from your life, it is possible to train your brain to handle stressful situations with more grace and ease by employing tools such as regarding your mind before a stressful event and replenishing yourself afterward, you can build up your capacity to cope with the challenges of life.” (28:28)
“There are so many different tools that we can use to heal and that is why hopefully I want you to listen and relisten so that you can find the tools that work for you.” (31:57)
“Going through a betrayal impacts every part of us including physically, mentally and emotionally, and spiritually. When we are not able to heal and release the trauma, it can build up inside our cellular memory and cause illness, disease and unnecessary stress. It is only by treating our symptoms in a holistic way that we can begin to understand the mind-body connection.” (42:49)
“If you feel as though you wear a shield of protective armor that is hiding a fraud, its time to take off your battle uniform and live a life full of authenticity and happiness.” (1:09:22)
The impact of past betrayal is proven, real and treatable. How can you help your patients and coaching clients heal from it? ‘The Science of Treating Betrayal’ will introduce you to Dr. Debi Silber founder of The (PBT) Post Betrayal Transformation Institute in this session of Extraordinary Instruction by The Wellness Universe.
Join Anna Pereira for a live conversation with Dr. Debi. Ask questions and learn more about the symptoms and how to help your clients heal now.
Register now. Grab your free seat and gifts from Dr. Debi:
Dr. Debi’s PhD study on betrayal, dove into: What holds us back, what helps us heal and what happens to us physically, mentally and emotionally, when the people closest to us like family members, partners, friends or coworkers, lie, cheat and deceive us. Her study of over 6,000 people worldwide returned these conclusions:
– Over 60% suffer from physical ailments
– Over 50% suffer from mental ailments
– Over 50% suffer from emotional symptoms
– 84% have an inability to trust
– 67% prevent themselves from forming deep relationships because they are fearful of being vulnerable and hurt
– 90% want to move forward but don’t know how
Full session description, gifts and register free: http://bit.ly/EIDebiSilber
Dr. Corey Allan is a marriage and family therapist, author, speaker and licensed professional counselor with a Ph.D. in family therapy. He and his wife run Sexy Marriage, a podcast and online article resource that aims to help those experiencing difficulties in a partnership and provide resources to work through the dark days to experience more passion and trust in their relationships.
Unfortunately, betrayal has become an increasingly frequent part of any relationship, and it is only by understanding the steps necessary to overcoming partnership betrayal that you can start making the steps that feel best for your unique situation.
Corey believes that marriage is more about becoming a better human than it is about the two people being happy. And when you keep things simple, you can experience more in marriage and life. By learning how to trust yourself again, accepting the cyclical cycle of getting better and becoming a major player in your relationship for your own sake, you can earn back your free choice and start living a life that demonstrates that you are worth choosing.
If you are ready to take the courageous step and ask yourself how your marital betrayal can be used for personal development, Corey is the expert for you. Are you ready to reanalyze what you thought maybe a dealbreaker in your relationship? Share what you learned from Corey in the comments below.
In This Episode
“If they will buy into the fact that the relationship was co-created that helped create the dynamic to where an affair would occur. But whoever it was that was betrayed, it is not their fault, it was a choice by their spouse, by their partner.” (4:13)
“I am the therapist that I don’t hold people’s hands, I come straight at them. I figure you are paying money to get the truth, so lets not sugar coat stuff, that’s speaking to the best in people.” (12:38)
“This isn’t about what was done as much as it is the result, which is their hurt, their pain, their sadness, their disappointment, their grief, their whatever. Because what was has to be grieved, it was lost, so now we have to create something different.” (18:55)
“Affairs are actually symptoms of something else, they are not the main thing, they are a part of the main thing.” (22:33)
Joshua A. Shea is a recovering pornography addict who is here to shed a different light on the topic of porn addiction and what goes on inside the mind of a porn addict. Joshua’s 20-year addiction came to a head when he pulled himself off his bipolar medication and engaged an underage girl in an online chat room. Now sober, out of prison and still living with his wife and children, Joshua is here to explain the real motivating factors behind his own personal porn addiction.
For Joshua, it was never about the pornography or the alcohol but instead about the control he gained from using this material. If you have been hurt by someone’s porn usage or want to gain a better understanding of the decision-making process of a pornography addict, this is an episode you need to listen too.
Despite the fact that many adults look at pornography, it is a topic that nobody wants to talk about. Joshua wants to open up that conversation and shine a light on the problem of pornography addiction to help others who may be struggling as well. If you are the spouse or the partner of a pornography addict, Joshua wants to make sure that you know that it has nothing to do with you and provide you with insights to help you understand that there is no stereotypical addict.
Do you or somebody that you love struggle with pornography addiction? Share this episode with them and let us know how transformation has proven possible for you in the comments below.
In This Episode
“Pornography and alcohol, they both allowed me to escape someplace else. They allowed me to go somewhere where I was in control. And that ultimately is what my pornography addiction specifically was about my entire life.” (5:07)
“I think I even made the joke back then that all of these different people would only ever meet at my funeral, and they would all have very different stories to share with one another because they all knew different versions of me.” (10:46)
“Despite the magazine falling apart, despite the fact that I was drinking more and my relationships with my family were falling apart, life was crumbling, and the one place that I could exert control was in the middle of the night in these chat rooms.” (17:10)
“I don’t blame the addiction for what I did. The addiction did make me get out of control, it did make me not recognize cause and effect and not recognize what could happen and make poor decisions. However, I made the very poor decision to pull myself off my bipolar medication.” (21:41)
“Despite the fact that the vast majority of people are looking at pornography, everybody wants to pretend that they don’t. And if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, I am not even saying addicts, but if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, how can we even begin to have conversations about pornography addiction?” (29:12)
Dr. Sheri Keffer‘s life came screeching to a halt when she found out that her new marriage to a pastor was filled with pornography, affairs, and prostitutes. Now a clinical sex addiction therapist and EMDR practitioner in addition to her audience of over two million people per week on her regular co-hosting gig at New Life Live, Dr. Sheri knows what it takes to heal and helps others realize that they are not alone, not crazy and can heal after sexual betrayal.
The way men and women experience sexual betrayal is very different, and it is only by engaging in a total truth-telling process that you can work to heal yourself and your relationship. The physical and mental symptoms of betrayal can seem overwhelming, but when you equip yourself with the right boundaries and ability to see the truth for what it is, healing is possible.
The process of rebuilding starts with you first, and it is Dr. Sheri’s mission is to give betrayed partners a roadmap to healing and recovery. With tools like EMDR and therapy, Dr. Sheri is here to tell you that you are worth fighting for and it is possible to rebuild with or without the person that hurt you as long as you have the truth first.
Have you or a loved one experienced sexual betrayal? How do you relate to Dr. Sheri’s story of deception and healing through exposing the truth? Share your story with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“All of it hurts, but the more intimate, the more emotional, the longer that relationship is, the more compulsive the sexual behavior is. It is harmful to us.” (4:59)
“At some point, I had to wake up from this nightmare I was living in that I really didn’t want to look at.” (10:34)
“A partner who is betrayed needs two things that are critical to heal, like two pillars, they need safety and they need the truth. And until they have those two things, a betrayed partner cannot settle into their body.” (19:17)
“The first step of recovery, whether you are staying with your partner or not, is recovery for yourself. Because you can’t fight for that relationship if you are lying flat on the ground.” (28:32)
“We have to be very proactive in getting in front of good therapists that know what they are doing with sexual deception.” (28:10)
So often we think people who are happy have had easy lives, and Shari Alyse is living proof that despite hardships you can still become a joy magnet. Co-founder of The Wellness Universe, Soul Ventures and an internationally recognized speaker, truth coach, author and blogger, Shari radiates joy and dedicates her life to spreading the message of finding the love that exists within.
After sexual molestation at age seven, resulting in her testifying on the stand and eventually sentencing her abuser to prison, Shari had no idea that her trauma was still following her years later. It wasn’t until a life-changing trip that she realized the joy she had been searching for all along was inside of each and every human being. Now Shari is passionate about reigniting the light in everyone and bringing joy back to people’s lives after they feel like they lost it for good.
Joy is at the heart of who we all are as people, it is your choice to tap into it and share your gift with the world. Even when something rocks your world, if you are able to stand up for yourself and fight for your inner power, you too can find never-ending joy.
In what ways does Shari inspire you to bring more joy into your life? Share with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“You can make a difference every single day in everything you do with the small things.” (8:51)
“What I was told during this time was that I was brave and courageous and strong and I saved all these girls, but I didn’t feel brave and courageous and strong, I felt like a girl that had been hurt and didn’t understand why this had happened to her.” (13:37)
“This is about you knowing that nothing on the outside matters. It doesn’t matter what your financial status is, and it doesn’t matter what things you have or what your relationship is, joy is something that we all just have and its whether we choose to tap into it or not.” (16:55)
“I am doing people a disservice when I do not share with people my truth. And my truth is that I do struggle, and that I do have challenges, but I have learned the tools and how to navigate it, to help myself not sit in that space for long.” (22:33)
“I know this sucks, I know that it’s hard, but I also know that because of who we are and what we were built to be, that we are and you are okay.” (29:32)
Transformation happens through consistent action, major perspective shifts, and a willingness to adventure into the unknown. Regardless of how much trauma and betrayal you’ve experienced in your life, if you’re willing to put the work in, you will see results. Our guest, Monica Bennett, shares today how she’s worked through her past to now help women overcome theirs.
Monica’s parents were both Holocaust survivors and her childhood was full of fear and uncertainty. She grew up in an unhappy and disappointing environment and later learned that she was generationally passing these traumas onto her daughter. But over the years, she’s learned many coping mechanisms for working through and healing from her trauma.
The way we respond to betrayal can actually become a pattern in our lives; it’s something we get used to. Breaking that pattern helps us move forward. Monica finds that writing three pages of her thoughts every morning helps her make sense of her thoughts. She also shares how other aspects of her life impact how she responds to trauma, including the food she eats.
Monica explains that one of the hardest parts of healing from trauma, for her, was learning who she was outside of it. When you’ve sat in trauma for years, do you really know who you are? She gives us some examples of how she learned who she is. And while it’s not for everyone, Monica worked with a holistic shaman for a number of years to get to the root cause of her trauma.
How have you committed to working through your trauma every day? Let us know what you gained most from Monica’s story in the comments below!
In This Episode
“Once you start looking and becoming aware of your past betrayal, you have understanding. Once you have understanding, then you have clarity. And once you have the clarity, then you can start to move forward.” (3:00)
“These words, these neuropathways, are so almost hardwired, that slowly we have to learn to disconnect like a wire to a plug in the wall. We have to learn to disconnect slowly.” (15:00)
“Unfortunately, you have to step out into the unknown if you do want to heal. And that’s where the tricky part comes because the unknown can be so uncomfortable, that you’ll come back to the known, even though that is so uncomfortable. But at least it’s familiar.” (18:18)
“I realize that not every day is a good day, but I know I have the insight to navigate the days with gratitude.” (25:39)
Call Monica on 516-297-0672
Louise Swartswalter has had a 20-year career transforming lives using a unique multi-dimensional approach to helping others cleanse the body mind and spirit of all that is blocking you from achieving your goals.
After using multi-sensory development protocols to help children with dyslexia, Louise realized the same principles could be applied to healing ourselves as well. With this knowledge, Louise created the B.R.A.I.N System and has helped her clients move from anxiety to calm in as little as one session.
Louise works with what is impacting you energetically, even if you do not currently realize its impact, so that you can clear yourself spiritually, mentally and physically. By clearing these blocks, you can release what is holding you back and rewire your brain for success.
Join us as we explore the power of muscle testing, biofeedback, and the impact of the spoken word so that you can empower yourself to clear whatever is blocking your goals and intentions for good.
Have known or unknown energetic blockers been keeping you back from living your full potential? Share your story in the comments below.
In This Episode
“When I started releasing the blocks in the field and the brain-soul connections in the field is really when I became more of who I came here to be.” (3:36)
“I started putting them on biofeedback and I started to see their brains change in a different way than I could help them with reading, writing, and spelling. One little guy jumped 2 grades in reading just with biofeedback.” (16:54)
“It’s totally possible to completely change your life and change your energy.” (21:42)
“If you’re not feeling like yourself, or you feel like you are out of balance, keep seeking, find those answers for yourself whatever they are. Everybody has a gift to give. And if you are not using your gifts in the world you are not honoring God.” (32:01)
Most of what we are doing comes from our subconscious programming that is largely influenced by our family patterns. Your lineage could be a great indicator of your susceptibility to being betrayed, or being a betrayer, and it is only by understanding it that you can correct your patterns and move forward.
Johanna Lynn is the founder of the Family Imprint Institute and helps her clients resolve painful patterns that can live on in generations as if on repeat. Your unconscious loyalty to a parent, or your ancestral alarm clock, could be having a major impact on the way you make your decisions and your ability to find happiness.
We tend to paint our partner with the same brush of what we didn’t get enough of as a child, and the way you are triggered in a relationship can help you understand the greater forces at play. Invisible factors that you have inherited play a major role in how you make decisions about your life and relationships. Johanna is here to explain exactly how you can take control of those patterns so you can keep the good and get rid of the rest.
Are you ready to be real about your lineage and put your pain to bed? Share what you learned in this episode in the comments below.
In This Episode
“They say 70% of what goes on in a marriage has to do with each other’s family of origin. But I can tell you, the more years I am in this work, the more I am convinced its a lot more like 99%.” (5:46)
“Until we’ve really recognized, ‘aha, this was the part I brought into the relationship that kind of exploded in front of my face’, were less likely to recreate that in the next relationship.” (11:02)
“We’re doing this not for the ex, were doing this for our children. Children do best with equal access to both parents, and the last thing we want is our children to be on our side against their own father. This is a huge determinant to kids and amplifies the likelihood that they will show up in a similar relationship.” (22:33)
“Betrayal doesn’t have to be the end of your story; perhaps it is the start of a brand new book, with all kinds of new experiences. So make it a learning experience that opens the door to something better.” (26:03)