July 19

Behavior & Mindset


Life doesn’t have to be as complicated or as scary as you might think. With just a few, simple truths, you can make your life easier, more productive, and more enjoyable.

Most of us are worried about things that in the long run, don’t really matter. If we could see this more clearly, we’d worry a lot less.

We’re also making life more challenging than it needs to be.

Change your perspective with these simple truths, and your life will change, too:

  1. Life, the Universe, etc. isn’t judging your decisions, just responding to them. Sometimes it seems like everything is working against you, but it’s simply not true. It’s up to you to move through your life’s experiences-however challenging they may be, and create the life you desire.

  2. The majority of people in your life aren’t judging you either. Most people aren’t focused on your mistakes, shortcomings, quirks, or other things you think. They’re too busy worrying about themselves to worry about you. So, do your best and as Wayne Dyer used to say: “What you think of me is none of my business.”
  3. In the long run, your mistakes won’t matter. If you’re worried about messing up, making an incorrect decision, or a mistake you’ve made, ask yourself if it will make a difference in a hundred years. With any mistake, take responsibility, clean it up as best you can, then forgive yourself and let it go. Now, of course if it’s something where you intentionally hurt someone deeply (like abuse, betrayal, etc.) go the distance to make it right by getting the help you need and helping the person you hurt as much as they need or are willing to accept.

  4. It’s important to be choosy with regards to friends and romantic partners. Your life is incredibly important. That’s why it’s important to be selective about who you allow into your life. While you’d never consider putting rotten eggs into a delicious cake mix, be as selective about who you’re letting into this “delicious” life you’re creating. The people in your life can make it significantly better or worse.

  5. Things beyond your control don’t deserve your attention. If you can’t affect it, what’s the point in worrying about it? Put your attention on something you can influence.

  6. Redefine what happiness and success means to you. There are successful people that are miserable. There are happy people that are struggling. So, redefine what success means to you. Maybe it means being surrounded by loving relationships, meaningful work and lots of fun. Maybe it means radiant health, lots of travel and a simple lifestyle. Maybe it’s all of those things and lots more. Only you have the answer.
  7. Making a choice is better than making no choice. Even if you don’t make the best choice, at least you’re moving forward. As one of my mentors used to say: “You can’t steer a parked car.” When you fail to make a decision, the decision will ultimately be made for you, and it most likely won’t be in your best interest.

  8. It’s often surprising what people will do if you’ll just ask. Most people are more accommodating than you might think. Instead of trying to do everything alone, consider asking for some help now and then. If your request is refused, you’re not any worse off. Besides, think of how great you feel when you help someone else. By asking for help, you’re giving someone that opportunity to feel good by helping you.

  9. Make your health a priority. It’s never too late to make some healthy changes. Decide to make your health a priority. Don’t wait for a health crisis to take your health seriously, it’s what you do now that can make that health crisis easier to move through because of those healthy habits you would have already created.

  10. How you spend your time matters. The quality of your life is determined by how you spend your time each day. Think about how you spend your time. If you’ll use it more productively, or in a way that brings you more joy, your life will be more fulfilling.

Life becomes complicated when we ignore these basic ideas. For example, if you believe the world is fundamentally against you, and you let just anyone into your inner circle, where is your life likely to end up? If you believe you’re destined for hardship so what’s the use in trying, what can you expect but showing yourself that you’re right about that belief?

It all starts with awareness. Becoming aware of what’s working and what’s not working for you allows you to create the changes you need to create the life you want. What changes will you make? Comment and share!

Dr. Debi
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute

About the author 

Dr. Debi

A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who’s created a proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

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