If you’ve seen the movie “Groundhog Day” Bill Murray relives the same day over and over again. At first, he’s baffled, then angry and eventually he starts having a little fun with it as he realizes he can use the day to create whatever type of experience he wants and if it doesn’t turn out well, no big deal, he can try again tomorrow.
So many of us walk around with “Groundhog Day of the Mind”. With this firmly in place, we have the same thoughts which lead to the same emotions, the same behaviors which create the same responses…day after day. What I find so interesting about this is that we struggle to understand why things aren’t changing, why we’re still stuck with the same habits that are leading us to frustration, illness, and unhappiness.
What do I mean?
See where I’m going with this?
Without awareness, some reflective intelligence and then some “pattern interrupt” to catch ourselves when we’re doing this, we’re reinforcing a well-worn path that unfortunately, doesn’t lead us to where we want to go.
So what can we do?
We can’t change anything we’re not aware of. So, the first step is awareness. This also requires an amount of reflective intelligence which involves that awareness of what we’re doing, along with clearly seeing how those thoughts and actions have created certain outcomes. It’s important to see it clearly in order to create different actions that’ll lead to a different result.
Once you see this all clearly, what can be helpful is a “pattern interrupt.” This can be a word or phrase serving as a reminder to stop the familiar thoughts from creating the predictable outcome you know so well. A phrase can be anything that resonates with you such as stop, pause, no, breathe, etc. It really doesn’t matter what you say to yourself as long as you stop the thought from gaining momentum.
Once you use your pattern interrupt, use a new and more empowering thought. Infuse it with emotion and let that gain momentum. Of course, it’ll feel uncomfortable at first but with repetition and consistency, if you commit to the pattern interrupt and a more positive and empowering response, it’ll eventually create new neural circuitry in your brain. This new circuitry will eventually become more charged than the old negative circuitry that kept those familiar thoughts engaged for so long. Over time, that new pattern becomes the new response and your new positive results will be your proof.
Be patient with yourself. Those old thoughts and patterns may have been there for decades and they’re so firmly in place, you barely know they’re there. Kind of like a fish doesn’t know it’s in water. But, even though it’s familiar, that doesn’t mean it’s working for you and it doesn’t mean you can’t change. It only means it’s familiar.
With some awareness, a pattern interrupt, a new empowering thought and a determination to create a new “track”, you’ll be leaving “Groundhog Day of the Mind” behind for something that serves you so much better.
Have you changed a thought pattern for something that’s bringing you a better result?
Did you know that your sense of smell is 100 times more powerful than any other sense, or that your sense of smell is also connected to your sense of survival? All of this can impact how we are triggered by emotional trauma linked to betrayal and can be harnessed to become a wonderful healing tool. Dr. Mariza Snyder is a functional practitioner, author, and hormone expert who is passionate about essential oils and their power to heal and is here to share her wealth of knowledge with us today.
Essential oils are a simple and doable strategy to include in your daily routine when you are overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure. Today Dr. Mariza is sharing her favorite essential oils for conquering stress, anxiety, anger, forgiveness, and more. She is also explaining how best to use them for emotional healing, how to ensure you are living your life by your own design versus proving people wrong and why you should be clearing a space for emotional wellbeing.
Dr. Mariza is shedding light on the science behind how essential oils affect the neurotransmitters in the brain and how they can provide you with the ability to select the mood you desire. If you have ever been curious about essential oils and don’t know where to start, or are looking for something easy that you can implement today to start making a positive impact in your life, Dr. Mariza is the answer you have been looking for.
Have you experimented with the wonderful world of essential oils? Let us know in the comments below!
In This Episode
“It was through a lot of healing and just a lot of self-reflection on what it meant to make me happy, that really steered me in this direction” (3:28)
“The big secret to radical self-healing is self-awareness, recognizing what’s happening” (7:37)
“I felt like I was in my true purpose and true calling for the first time in my life like I finally heard what I was really meant to do in this world” (14:44)
“Everyone needs a little extra courage, a little liquid courage, a little essential oil courage” (28:08)
“[Essential Oils] really kind of dispel some of those feelings that we women tend to hold onto, that don’t allow us to step into our power” (31:44)
Debi’s New line of Essential oil trios-Emotional Boost and Emotional Support:
January 1st brings with it more than just a date change. Very often as we ring in the New Year, we ring in a desire for newness- a hope to start fresh, to reach goals where we might have fallen short, to right wrongs, and to give ourselves another shot at achieving what we envision for our lives.
Our goals are often pretty noble:
Then…February hits. Slowly but surely, the gyms are less crowded. The concept of writing a new script has somehow fallen into the recesses of our minds. The calendar and appointment books are now filled with the same things we fill them with every year. The beautiful clean pages are filled with cross-outs, penciled in responsibilities and last-minute additions. Meditation time has been replaced with hitting the snooze button and our greatest mantra becomes, “Oh, God” or one that helps us release frustration and exasperation.
What happens between January and February 1stand why does it happen to so many of us- even with such noble of goals? The truth is that it’s impossible to create a new reality or a new life when the same old you shows up. As much as you would truly like or want to change the conditions of your life, it’s impossible if nothing has changed within you- the co-creator. Dr. Joe Dispenza, world-renowned scientist, teacher, lecturer, and author, explains this beautifully when he explains how if you bring all of your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions of the past into the present, you can only recreate what you have always known.
We see this so often in relationships. Someone wants a loving, healthy, and fulfilling relationship to make them happy. They may even truly believe that they are worthy and deserving of a great relationship but the truth is that if they are not happy, healthy and whole within themselves, they’re not going to find it outside of themselves- regardless of the nature of the relationship.
That is one of the many reasons I love the work that I do with betrayal. Very few people have never been betrayed, and betrayal doesn’t always leave an indelible mark on our hearts. For the purpose of my study, I defined betrayal as the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule by someone who has put his/her needs before your own and your wellbeing. Understandably, what I found in my study was that the deeper the relationship, the more dependent you were on the betrayer, the greater the wound of betrayal. If you are betrayed by an acquaintance, it won’t have the same effect as being betrayed by a best friend, partner, or spouse. I also learned that the wounds of betrayal can run so deep, that people can stay “stuck” for months, years, or even a lifetime.
So think about it, how do you show up for happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships when you aren’t showing up that way? Betrayal can leave us feeling sick, stuck, small, vulnerable and struggling with what I’ve identified to be Post Betrayal Syndrome™. In addition, to be able to recognize the symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome, I have also developed a tried and true process that will move you from Betrayal to Breakthrough so that you can be your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual best. So much so that I even created the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute to help people heal from betrayal.
As much as we would love to simply wave a magic wand and create the life of our dreams, it doesn’t work that way. The New Year is a beautiful time to start fresh, and the hope and enthusiasm it brings is inspiring and challenging. When working to achieve those new goals, it’s important to know who’s showing up. Are you working out with the same plan and strategy that didn’t work well for you last time? Are you attending the weight loss meeting with the same eating habits that got you there to begin with?
Whatever your goal, whatever life you wish to create, your intentions, beliefs, and habits have to work in tandem- from the inside, out. Our abundant Universe is ready and willing to bring you all that you need. Your job is to make sure that the past doesn’t seep into the present to create your future. Here’s to being your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual best this New Year and beyond.
Anna Miranda is an intuitive coach who has dedicated her life to the study of metaphysics and utilizing many forms of intuitive arts to spiritually coach those looking to discover their true potential. Aside from her resume, Anna was pivotal in my betrayal journey and helped me realize the true purpose of my betrayal. Today, Anna is here to rediscover my healing journey, and share her wealth of knowledge with you.
If you have ever been curious about creating soul contracts with yourself, partner and family, how to gain absolute faith and trust the universe, or get a closer look into how I dealt with my betrayal, this episode is for you. Anna is an advocate for believing in yourself, listening to your soul to tell you what to do next, and getting outside of the victim mentality.
By letting go of the shame and embarrassment that goes along with sharing your betrayal, you can stop hiding and embrace and trust all aspects of ‘what is’. While vulnerability may be scary, it is the only way to fully unlock your true potential and ability for love. It is time to rediscover your vibrant self, and Anna is here to help.
Are you truly open to vulnerability? Let us know in the comments below!
In This Episode
“I remember thinking explicitly, I don’t trust certainly him, I don’t trust myself, at least let me trust in the universe. And Anna seemed to have this direct line” (3:04) – Debi
“My only job is to help you tap into what you already are, to the essence of your being. That we tend to forget when we are in trauma” (4:00) – Anna
“In soul contracts, we don’t see obstacle or pain as a bad thing, we actually see it as a grand opportunity that your soul set forth way before it was even incarnated in this lifetime” (8:22) – Anna
“It wasn’t enough for me to heal personally. The injustice of it was so gigantic for me, that I said if I can heal from this I will have to do my best to heal as many people as I can” (24:55) – Debi
“True authenticity has to come from a place of vulnerability” (33:31) – Anna
A crisis, tragedy, illness or trauma can blindside us. It can take the wind out of our sails, stop us in our tracks, and leave life as we know it changed forever. It can wreak havoc on us physically, mentally and emotionally as we do our best to recover from the shock from what we never saw (or weren’t willing to see) coming down the road. While these types of life-altering experiences can shake us to the core, have you ever considered the idea that they may possibly be the perfect catalyst for change or even…a gift?
For many of us, our lives don’t change unless they have to. We plod along going about our business and rarely stop to consider how we’ve been living. Many go through life almost sleepwalking; numbly and mindlessly getting through each day. We may go years in an unfulfilling job, with mediocre relationships, loveless marriages, poor health, low energy, and little joy.
We may never have had the confidence we needed to pursue a unique skill that may have led us to discover our greatest passion and purpose. We may have spent our adult lives being too afraid to pursue an exciting opportunity or travel on an unfamiliar path that could have led to something spectacular. We may have put our lives on hold as we wait for the perfect time, season, reason or person to inspire us to take a bold step or make a big move. For some of us, we may have been so caught up in the details of our day that we were unable to see more than getting through our daily “to-do” lists.
We do this day after day after day after day…until something wakes us up and somehow inspires us to take a different approach and begin the process of making a much-needed change. What is that something? Often it’s a crisis, tragedy, illness or trauma.
We often look at a crisis as a huge and negative disruption in our lives, one that throws us and we wonder if we’ll ever recover from it. But you’ve heard the saying “as one door closes, another door opens.” Well, that door probably closed because of a crisis, tragedy, illness, trauma or, maybe even just a major disappointment. It could have closed because that relationship finally ended, that diagnosis was just given, that business just took a turn, you had to make that major decision, or you got that phone call you hoped would never come. In either case, because one door closed, a new door was revealed. A door you may never have seen had that first door not closed. A new door, ready for you to open; leading to a very new, very different and possibly very welcomed chapter in your life. Why?
While it’s natural to view tragedy as something terrible it’s often a blessing in disguise if it causes us to reevaluate our lives and take the opportunity it provides to make some changes. Without that tragedy, you may not have thought to reconsider how things were going in areas such as your health, your relationships, your business, and your life. There’s always something positive that comes from it if we allow ourselves to find it.
If you allow yourself to heal from a tragedy, take a look at the new you. Chances are you’ll find that you’ve grown because of the new expanded awareness the tragedy provided. If it weren’t for that tragedy, you may not have made those new changes and grown in that new way. You may never have discovered your true purpose, moved past your comfort zone or learned how brave, courageous and resilient you really are.
Of course, this isn’t to say that we’re not supposed to deeply feel the pain tragedy or trauma can cause. Without addressing, feeling and working through the pain, you probably can’t heal. The idea is to find the lesson the tragedy provides. Find the opportunity, new outlook, perspective or path that the crisis enabled you to see. Find the new door that was revealed as a result of the crisis and the new opportunity that now may be presenting itself to you. Then, take that new awareness and use it as a catalyst to create a bold, vibrant life filled with love, meaning, and purpose.
Even if it looks like you have it all from the outside, what is happening inside your body can often not match up. If you are feeling trapped or stuck by societies constraints of what you ‘should do’ and are looking for a way to connect back to your inner self, Lucinda Bakken White is here to help.
After leaving a dream job at IBM and sinking into a deep suicidal depression, Lucinda realized that she was denying her own authentic self in order to conform to what society told her to do. After embracing her anger and finding the motivation to become her true self, Lucinda dedicated herself to helping other women rediscover their passions. Lucinda believes that when you connect with your authentic wildness there is a natural energy that enlivens you from the inside out, and she is sharing how to get in touch with that version of yourself today.
It might be scary to deny what you have been taught, but questioning what you know and coming up with a new belief can be powerful, not frightening. If you are having a crisis and feeling trapped, Lucinda is a kind voice of hope to help you get your life back to balanced. By checking your energy and tapping into who you truly are, you can live the life you have always dreamed of.
Do you struggle with the pressures created by society? Let us know where you are at in the comments below!
In This Episode
“We want to feel loveable and fit in. So we end up conforming to other peoples rules. The rules of the society, our culture, our family. And we deny our authenticity on the inside” (3:57)
“I always come full circle with tragedy and obstacles in my life as ‘oh this lead me here and without this happening, I wouldn’t have gotten here and I learned so much and it is really not about the other, it is about me’.” (10:21)
“I always look at everything now as an immersion. I don’t know it unless I am immersed in it. (16:05)
“Wild just implies movement, and the only thing constant in nature is change. So we are meant to be constantly moving on that wheel” (20:43)
“Our authentic self actually has a gift that we are meant to share with the world to be a better place, and that gives our life a higher purpose and deeper meaning (23:04)
When we think of trauma, we often think of tragic accidents, natural disasters, the death of a loved one or a frightening diagnosis. These situations rock us to our core, shatter us as well as everything we’ve counted on. Yet, there’s another type of trauma that can rock us as well and it happens when those we’ve trusted and/or were dependent upon betray us. It’s called “betrayal trauma.” For example, a child experiences sexual abuse from a relative, your partner steals the company funds, your spouse has an affair, your best friend lied to you. These traumas may range in severity but regardless, they all hurt because these betrayals destroy our trust. They shift our perspective, change how we view others and the world and leave us questioning our relationships and ourselves. How can you cope with betrayal? Here are a few strategies:
Betrayal doesn’t have to become your whole story. It can become a part of your story of transformation as you learn how to take that pain and use it to become your most empowered and unshakable self.
Often we define ourselves by our relationships, so when they crumble, we are left unsure how to rebuild everything around us. Suzanne Borelli experienced her own marital trauma and has worked every day to put aside her negative self-esteem to turn around her life for the better. Now in the best state of her life, Suzanne was a member of my ‘Fab 14’ Ph.D. study, and her contributions helped unveil discoveries around how women deal with betrayal.
Today Suzanne is opening up about how she picked up the pieces, why you should make sure to put yourself on the list, and the importance of self-awareness, plus so much more. Our betrayal does not define who we are or our future, and Suzanne is all about taking micro steps towards creating a better situation for yourself.
Through her experience, Suzanne has become passionate about helping other women process their own grief and come out swinging on the other side. An advocate for prioritizing self-care, focusing on being thankful and taking note of your daily actions to improve yourself, Suzanne is a bright light and inspiring example.
Have you experienced a betrayal similar to Suzanne’s? Let us know in the comments below!
In This Episode
“If I could be of service and if I could help other women with the same struggle, I really wanted to be a part of that” (2:58)
“I realized that the pain of staying where I was stuck, that pain was much stronger than any of the pain of trying to experience something new” (8:43)
“I feel like my loved ones get a better version of me if I have self-care every day” (14:42)
“I was very mindful of okay, this has happened, how can I conquer this or how can I work with this?” (20:43)
“Part of this experience has rebirthed me or woken me up and I just feel really happy and lucky” (24:37)
So things didn’t go as planned. In fact, you may be looking at what seems like a colossal failure. It can be so challenging to pick ourselves up after falling down (repeatedly) and being someone known to “run enthusiastically in the wrong direction” I feel your frustration. Sure it’s easy to give up and give in but here are 7 steps I’ve found really helpful to get back up again.
There is a reason you are having physical, emotional or mental pain that you might not understand. Sarah Weiss has been trained by spiritual masters from many traditions and uses her skills and a medical intuitive to bridge the gap between symptoms and relief. After 45 years of committed learning about awakening high-frequency awareness, subtle energy perception, and self-empowerment, Sarah is empowering others to awaken their own healing capabilities through healing.
Today we are diving right into how our bodies are connected to greater things happening around us, and why it might be playing a big role in your overall health. Sarah is sharing the power of the collective, how to use your body to take painful memories and turn it into positive energy, plus so much more.
The more we tune into our intuition and the subtle energy of our beings, the better we are able to connect to our inner truth compass and live in a safer state. Sarah is walking us through what it takes to connect back to your truth and work to clean out your system every day. A unique and interesting perspective, Sarah is sharing her wealth of knowledge with us on this episode. Does Sarah’s description of an Empath relate to you? Let us know in the comments below!
In This Episode
“Betrayal is something that usually your body knows about, your intuition knows about it, long before your mind knows about it” (3:33)
“Tuning in to your body becoming more embodies actually helps you feel safer than if you dissociate” (13:07)
“I love to think of a loving Mother Earth taking in that energy through her heart and loving me back with beautiful energy” (25:10)
“Betrayal is in the water we drink in the air we breathe, and so a lot of it is not personal, it is ignorance. It’s real ignorance.” (31:40)
Let’s face it, change is hard and within change is the inherent fear factor- leaving what we have known and are comfortable with and not knowing what the future will bring. Of course, the more comfortable and content we are with our situation, the more difficult it is to make the adjustment.
Yet even knowing that change in life is inevitable, it very often still fills us with a sense of grief. Losing a friend, job, or opportunity understandably fills us with tremendous sadness, as a break-up, betrayal, or disappointment can, but even seemingly happy occasions can be just as traumatic. Especially if they are situations that force us to move from one stage life to another. Graduating from high school or college, leaving a job or moving to a new location, birthdays, weddings and retirement can fill us with distress. Leaving what we’ve known, are used to, and are comfortable with, whether good or bad, can lead us to that overwhelming sense of loss and/or anxiety.
The crux of the anxiety associated with change comes from the fact that we feel that we are losing something. At times, we may even feel that we have no control. Shifting that paradigm will go a long way to making the process smoother and less painful and it really isn’t as hard as you may think.
Acceptance is key.
Although it’s perfectly natural to want to fight against the tide, cross our arms, dig our heels in to prevent change, it can be as impossible as preventing the change of seasons. Taking the time to fully understand your feelings and their complexity is an essential part of acceptance. As exciting as it may be to start something new, we may also be experiencing fear, nervousness, and anxiety about what we’re leaving behind. It helps to:
Being appreciative for what you’ve known and the joy it has given you goes a long way in moving on. Taking time to reflect on where the experience fits into the bigger picture is very helpful.
It may take some effort, but it is possible to promote enthusiasm for what’s to come.
Sometimes, reflection and redefinition are called for.
Very often when you’ve spent a long time doing something, such as child-rearing, it’s difficult to envision doing anything else. It is not unusual to experience emptiness and disconnection in such a situation. Many people feel lost and confused about who they are when their identity had been so strongly associated with a particular purpose in life. Now that our role is changing it is not uncommon to experience an identity crisis. Having to redefine ourselves can often cause us to experience grief as we mourn the person we used to be, but it can also be exciting to imagine who we are becoming.
82% of the participants who participated in a recent survey that I conducted on betrayal said that they wanted to move forward, but that they didn’t know how. When you’re in the middle of a major life change, no matter what the change, it’s hard to imagine ever becoming your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual best. But it can happen. It just takes a commitment to do so. You are worth dedicating time to understand and take care of yourself and to transform into the best version of you, yet!
Emerald Peaceful GreenForest is a wonderful example of someone who can continually find hope, healing, and compassion in whatever life throws at her, and comes back stronger every time. The ‘Empress of Encouragement’, Emerald is a premier and trusted advisor to many of the worlds leading influencers in the personal and professional development industry.
Today Emerald is sharing some interesting perspectives and ways to heal from a betrayal that you may not have tried before. Along with her emotionally unstable childhood, struggle through her 3-year-old son’s sexual abuse, and abusive relationships, Emerald has continued to keep her faith and heal her relationship with herself. On this episode Emerald is sharing her journey, what inspires her to keep going, and so much more.
If you are feeling confused as a leader in your current reality, but have a strong calling and big vision, Emerald is an inspiring and enlighted voice of clarity in the sea of confusion. We are opening up to the vastness of reality and healing your trauma one step at a time through specific processes and intentions.
How does your story relate to Emerald’s? Let us know in the comments below!
In This Episode
“What’s really interesting about therapy is it allows you to distinguish what’s going on, but it doesn’t necessarily help you to transcend it.” (8:40)
“A lot of the shifts that happened in my life came as a result of what I am going to call divine intervention.” (15:54)
“Gratitude is the currency of the universe, and currency is gratitude in action” (30:20)