fbpx
From Betrayal To Breakthrough 033: Groundhog Day of the Mind w/ Dr. Debi Silber

033: Groundhog Day of the Mind w/ Dr. Debi Silber

If you’ve seen the movie “Groundhog Day” Bill Murray relives the same day over and over again. At first, he’s baffled, then angry and eventually he starts having a little fun with it as he realizes he can use the day to create whatever type of experience he wants and if it doesn’t turn out well, no big deal, he can try again tomorrow.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

So many of us walk around with “Groundhog Day of the Mind”. With this firmly in place, we have the same thoughts which lead to the same emotions, the same behaviors which create the same responses…day after day. What I find so interesting about this is that we struggle to understand why things aren’t changing, why we’re still stuck with the same habits that are leading us to frustration, illness, and unhappiness.

What do I mean?

  • Let’s say you’re frustrated with the way your body looks and feels. You may want to make changes but with the same thoughts leading to the same actions…you’re unlikely to make different choices that’ll lead to different results.
  • Let’s say you’re frustrated with the lack of recognition, impact or income your job brings. You vent your frustrations to your coworkers and your family but with the same thoughts leading to the same actions…you’re unlikely to make different choices that’ll lead to a different and more rewarding career.
  • Let’s say you’re frustrated with your relationship or desire to find a new relationship. You may want to make changes but you still have those same thoughts that lead to the same feelings which lead to the same beliefs, actions, and behaviors…leading to the same results.

See where I’m going with this?

Without awareness, some reflective intelligence and then some “pattern interrupt” to catch ourselves when we’re doing this, we’re reinforcing a well-worn path that unfortunately, doesn’t lead us to where we want to go.

So what can we do?

We can’t change anything we’re not aware of. So, the first step is awareness. This also requires an amount of reflective intelligence which involves that awareness of what we’re doing, along with clearly seeing how those thoughts and actions have created certain outcomes. It’s important to see it clearly in order to create different actions that’ll lead to a different result.

Once you see this all clearly, what can be helpful is a “pattern interrupt.” This can be a word or phrase serving as a reminder to stop the familiar thoughts from creating the predictable outcome you know so well. A phrase can be anything that resonates with you such as stop, pause, no, breathe, etc. It really doesn’t matter what you say to yourself as long as you stop the thought from gaining momentum.

Once you use your pattern interrupt, use a new and more empowering thought. Infuse it with emotion and let that gain momentum. Of course, it’ll feel uncomfortable at first but with repetition and consistency, if you commit to the pattern interrupt and a more positive and empowering response, it’ll eventually create new neural circuitry in your brain. This new circuitry will eventually become more charged than the old negative circuitry that kept those familiar thoughts engaged for so long. Over time, that new pattern becomes the new response and your new positive results will be your proof.

Be patient with yourself. Those old thoughts and patterns may have been there for decades and they’re so firmly in place, you barely know they’re there. Kind of like a fish doesn’t know it’s in water. But, even though it’s familiar, that doesn’t mean it’s working for you and it doesn’t mean you can’t change. It only means it’s familiar.

With some awareness, a pattern interrupt, a new empowering thought and a determination to create a new “track”, you’ll be leaving “Groundhog Day of the Mind” behind for something that serves you so much better.

Have you changed a thought pattern for something that’s bringing you a better result?

 

Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 032: How to Use Essential Oils for Emotional Healing w/ Dr. Mariza

032: How to Use Essential Oils for Emotional Healing w/ Dr. Mariza

Did you know that your sense of smell is 100 times more powerful than any other sense, or that your sense of smell is also connected to your sense of survival? All of this can impact how we are triggered by emotional trauma linked to betrayal and can be harnessed to become a wonderful healing tool. Dr. Mariza Snyder is a functional practitioner, author, and hormone expert who is passionate about essential oils and their power to heal and is here to share her wealth of knowledge with us today.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

Essential oils are a simple and doable strategy to include in your daily routine when you are overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure. Today Dr. Mariza is sharing her favorite essential oils for conquering stress, anxiety, anger, forgiveness, and more. She is also explaining how best to use them for emotional healing, how to ensure you are living your life by your own design versus proving people wrong and why you should be clearing a space for emotional wellbeing.

Dr. Mariza is shedding light on the science behind how essential oils affect the neurotransmitters in the brain and how they can provide you with the ability to select the mood you desire. If you have ever been curious about essential oils and don’t know where to start, or are looking for something easy that you can implement today to start making a positive impact in your life, Dr. Mariza is the answer you have been looking for.

Have you experimented with the wonderful world of essential oils? Let us know in the comments below!

In This Episode

  • The important role forgiveness plays in the healing transformation
  • Listening to your inner voice instead of living to prove a point
  • Why positive and negative emotional memories can be triggered by smell
  • Top essential oil blends and scents to help with emotions of betrayal
  • How to let go of betrayal and accept forgiveness with the help of essential oils

Quotes

“It was through a lot of healing and just a lot of self-reflection on what it meant to make me happy, that really steered me in this direction” (3:28)

“The big secret to radical self-healing is self-awareness, recognizing what’s happening” (7:37)

“I felt like I was in my true purpose and true calling for the first time in my life like I finally heard what I was really meant to do in this world” (14:44)

“Everyone needs a little extra courage, a little liquid courage, a little essential oil courage” (28:08)

“[Essential Oils] really kind of dispel some of those feelings that we women tend to hold onto, that don’t allow us to step into our power” (31:44)

Links

Purchase The Essential Oil Hormone Solution Here

Essentially You Podcast

Dr. Mariza’s Website

Other Resources

Debi’s New line of Essential oil trios-Emotional Boost and Emotional Support:

Breakthrough Essentials Emotional Boost Trio:

Breakthrough Essentials Emotional Support Trio

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 31 Co-Creating In The New Year w/ Dr. Debi Silber

031: Co-Creating In The New Year w/ Dr. Debi Silber

January 1st brings with it more than just a date change. Very often as we ring in the New Year, we ring in a desire for newness- a hope to start fresh, to reach goals where we might have fallen short, to right wrongs, and to give ourselves another shot at achieving what we envision for our lives.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

Our goals are often pretty noble:

  1. Physically- Most people want to be a healthier and stronger version of themselves. Gym and weight loss memberships soar. Workout areas are packed with hopeful, eager participants who have no doubt that they’ll achieve their goal in the next couple of months, whether realistic or not.
  2. Mentally- We are prepared. It’s okay that last year didn’t turn out as planned. We have a fresh new slate upon which to write a whole new script. Our goals are fueled with the belief that anything is possible, and we have a whole brand-new year to achieve what we were not able to in the past.
  3. Emotionally- New beginnings bring us hope. There’s some inherent excitement at being able to start over. We purchase new calendars, new appointment books, and new journals. This, this is the year we are going to get grounded, centered and secure. Our new selves will allow us to enjoy relationships at a deeper, more authentic, and fulfilling level. Dating sites enjoy an increased flurry of activity as our new-found optimism fuels an expectation and anticipation that the partner who has eluded us in the past will be found.
  4. Spiritually- Time for meditation, yoga, and connecting with Spirit has made it onto our calendars. Mantras are developed, affirmations are said, spiritual practices are established. Since 600 BC we have used this time, culturally symbolized with the Baby New Year, to believe that we can create the life we’ve always wanted…even if we haven’t been able to create it until now.

Then…February hits. Slowly but surely, the gyms are less crowded. The concept of writing a new script has somehow fallen into the recesses of our minds. The calendar and appointment books are now filled with the same things we fill them with every year. The beautiful clean pages are filled with cross-outs, penciled in responsibilities and last-minute additions. Meditation time has been replaced with hitting the snooze button and our greatest mantra becomes, “Oh, God” or one that helps us release frustration and exasperation.

What happens between January and February 1stand why does it happen to so many of us- even with such noble of goals? The truth is that it’s impossible to create a new reality or a new life when the same old you shows up. As much as you would truly like or want to change the conditions of your life, it’s impossible if nothing has changed within you- the co-creator. Dr. Joe Dispenza, world-renowned scientist, teacher, lecturer, and author, explains this beautifully when he explains how if you bring all of your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions of the past into the present, you can only recreate what you have always known.

We see this so often in relationships. Someone wants a loving, healthy, and fulfilling relationship to make them happy. They may even truly believe that they are worthy and deserving of a great relationship but the truth is that if they are not happy, healthy and whole within themselves, they’re not going to find it outside of themselves- regardless of the nature of the relationship.

That is one of the many reasons I love the work that I do with betrayal. Very few people have never been betrayed, and betrayal doesn’t always leave an indelible mark on our hearts. For the purpose of my study, I defined betrayal as the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule by someone who has put his/her needs before your own and your wellbeing. Understandably, what I found in my study was that the deeper the relationship, the more dependent you were on the betrayer, the greater the wound of betrayal. If you are betrayed by an acquaintance, it won’t have the same effect as being betrayed by a best friend, partner, or spouse. I also learned that the wounds of betrayal can run so deep, that people can stay “stuck” for months, years, or even a lifetime.

So think about it, how do you show up for happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships when you aren’t showing up that way? Betrayal can leave us feeling sick, stuck, small, vulnerable and struggling with what I’ve identified to be Post Betrayal Syndrome™.  In addition, to be able to recognize the symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome, I have also developed a tried and true process that will move you from Betrayal to Breakthrough so that you can be your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual best. So much so that I even created the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute to help people heal from betrayal.

As much as we would love to simply wave a magic wand and create the life of our dreams, it doesn’t work that way. The New Year is a beautiful time to start fresh, and the hope and enthusiasm it brings is inspiring and challenging. When working to achieve those new goals, it’s important to know who’s showing up. Are you working out with the same plan and strategy that didn’t work well for you last time? Are you attending the weight loss meeting with the same eating habits that got you there to begin with?

Whatever your goal, whatever life you wish to create, your intentions, beliefs, and habits have to work in tandem- from the inside, out. Our abundant Universe is ready and willing to bring you all that you need. Your job is to make sure that the past doesn’t seep into the present to create your future. Here’s to being your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual best this New Year and beyond.

Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 029: Stand In Your Intuitive Truth-Embrace Your Potential & Let Go Of Self-Inflicted Limitation w/ Anna Miranda

030: Stand In Your Intuitive Truth-Embrace Your Potential & Let Go Of Self-Inflicted Limitation w/ Anna Miranda

Anna Miranda is an intuitive coach who has dedicated her life to the study of metaphysics and utilizing many forms of intuitive arts to spiritually coach those looking to discover their true potential. Aside from her resume, Anna was pivotal in my betrayal journey and helped me realize the true purpose of my betrayal. Today, Anna is here to rediscover my healing journey, and share her wealth of knowledge with you.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

If you have ever been curious about creating soul contracts with yourself, partner and family, how to gain absolute faith and trust the universe, or get a closer look into how I dealt with my betrayal, this episode is for you. Anna is an advocate for believing in yourself, listening to your soul to tell you what to do next, and getting outside of the victim mentality.

By letting go of the shame and embarrassment that goes along with sharing your betrayal, you can stop hiding and embrace and trust all aspects of ‘what is’. While vulnerability may be scary, it is the only way to fully unlock your true potential and ability for love. It is time to rediscover your vibrant self, and Anna is here to help.

Are you truly open to vulnerability? Let us know in the comments below!

In This Episode

  • Learn how to trust in your intuition again
  • Realizing your betrayal as a gift to unlocking your true self
  • Why sometimes you have to lose what that means the most to make a change
  • How to ‘find the gold in the trauma’
  • Becoming truly selfless and vulnerable through soul contracts

Quotes

“I remember thinking explicitly, I don’t trust certainly him, I don’t trust myself, at least let me trust in the universe. And Anna seemed to have this direct line” (3:04) – Debi

“My only job is to help you tap into what you already are, to the essence of your being. That we tend to forget when we are in trauma” (4:00) – Anna

“In soul contracts, we don’t see obstacle or pain as a bad thing, we actually see it as a grand opportunity that your soul set forth way before it was even incarnated in this lifetime” (8:22) – Anna

“It wasn’t enough for me to heal personally. The injustice of it was so gigantic for me, that I said if I can heal from this I will have to do my best to heal as many people as I can” (24:55) – Debi

“True authenticity has to come from a place of vulnerability” (33:31) – Anna

Links

Anna Miranda’s Website

Video Anna referred to when I shared my story

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 029: Crisis, Tragedy, Illness or Trauma: the Perfect Catalyst or Even...a Gift? w/ Dr. Debi Silber

029: Crisis, Tragedy, Illness or Trauma: the Perfect Catalyst or Even…a Gift? w/ Dr. Debi Silber

A crisis, tragedy, illness or trauma can blindside us. It can take the wind out of our sails, stop us in our tracks, and leave life as we know it changed forever. It can wreak havoc on us physically, mentally and emotionally as we do our best to recover from the shock from what we never saw (or weren’t willing to see) coming down the road. While these types of life-altering experiences can shake us to the core, have you ever considered the idea that they may possibly be the perfect catalyst for change or even…a gift?

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

For many of us, our lives don’t change unless they have to. We plod along going about our business and rarely stop to consider how we’ve been living. Many go through life almost sleepwalking; numbly and mindlessly getting through each day. We may go years in an unfulfilling job, with mediocre relationships, loveless marriages, poor health, low energy, and little joy.

We may never have had the confidence we needed to pursue a unique skill that may have led us to discover our greatest passion and purpose. We may have spent our adult lives being too afraid to pursue an exciting opportunity or travel on an unfamiliar path that could have led to something spectacular. We may have put our lives on hold as we wait for the perfect time, season, reason or person to inspire us to take a bold step or make a big move. For some of us, we may have been so caught up in the details of our day that we were unable to see more than getting through our daily “to-do” lists.

We do this day after day after day after day…until something wakes us up and somehow inspires us to take a different approach and begin the process of making a much-needed change. What is that something? Often it’s a crisis, tragedy, illness or trauma.

We often look at a crisis as a huge and negative disruption in our lives, one that throws us and we wonder if we’ll ever recover from it. But you’ve heard the saying “as one door closes, another door opens.” Well, that door probably closed because of a crisis, tragedy, illness, trauma or, maybe even just a major disappointment. It could have closed because that relationship finally ended, that diagnosis was just given, that business just took a turn, you had to make that major decision, or you got that phone call you hoped would never come. In either case, because one door closed, a new door was revealed. A door you may never have seen had that first door not closed. A new door, ready for you to open; leading to a very new, very different and possibly very welcomed chapter in your life. Why?

  • It’s often these types of shake-ups that cause us to reevaluate our lives, ourselves and how we’ve been living. For example, someone hears a frightening diagnosis. Because of that, they realize they’ve neglected certain people and possibly their own needs as well. The crisis inspired them to make the changes they needed to in order to more fully appreciate those they love as they begin to nurture themselves and their relationships more effectively.
  • Tragedy also encourages us to make a decision about how we’ve been acting. For example, maybe you were holding onto a past hurt, a grudge, guilt or pain. A tragedy can allow you see how pointless it may be and can be the perfect catalyst for bringing about a change in the way you think and feel.
  • A crisis can also cause us to reevaluate our choices and habits. Maybe someone learns that the years of filling their body and mind with physical and emotional toxins have finally taken its toll and their health is in jeopardy as a result. Because of this, they’re inspired to regain their health and wellness through better habits, choices, actions, and behaviors that will encourage health, healing, and vitality. Through this process, they may even discover a new passion for helping others prevent the same thing from happening to them.
  • For some, a tragedy can be freeing. Maybe you felt restricted, stuck, locked into a hopeless and desperate situation. When you had time to heal from the crisis, you may now find that it’s now the perfect time to take that next step that could lead to something even better than before.
  • The opportunity we get from a tragedy can also force us to live more in the present because we’ve learned just how precious life can be. It enables us to live richer, more deeply and more fully because we become acutely aware of the gift we’ve been given.

While it’s natural to view tragedy as something terrible it’s often a blessing in disguise if it causes us to reevaluate our lives and take the opportunity it provides to make some changes. Without that tragedy, you may not have thought to reconsider how things were going in areas such as your health, your relationships, your business, and your life. There’s always something positive that comes from it if we allow ourselves to find it.

If you allow yourself to heal from a tragedy, take a look at the new you. Chances are you’ll find that you’ve grown because of the new expanded awareness the tragedy provided. If it weren’t for that tragedy, you may not have made those new changes and grown in that new way. You may never have discovered your true purpose, moved past your comfort zone or learned how brave, courageous and resilient you really are.

Of course, this isn’t to say that we’re not supposed to deeply feel the pain tragedy or trauma can cause. Without addressing, feeling and working through the pain, you probably can’t heal. The idea is to find the lesson the tragedy provides. Find the opportunity, new outlook, perspective or path that the crisis enabled you to see. Find the new door that was revealed as a result of the crisis and the new opportunity that now may be presenting itself to you. Then, take that new awareness and use it as a catalyst to create a bold, vibrant life filled with love, meaning, and purpose.

Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

 

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 028: Are You Betraying Your Authentic Self? w/ Lucinda Bakken White

028: Are You Betraying Your Authentic Self? w/ Lucinda Bakken White

Even if it looks like you have it all from the outside, what is happening inside your body can often not match up. If you are feeling trapped or stuck by societies constraints of what you ‘should do’ and are looking for a way to connect back to your inner self, Lucinda Bakken White is here to help.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

After leaving a dream job at IBM and sinking into a deep suicidal depression, Lucinda realized that she was denying her own authentic self in order to conform to what society told her to do. After embracing her anger and finding the motivation to become her true self, Lucinda dedicated herself to helping other women rediscover their passions. Lucinda believes that when you connect with your authentic wildness there is a natural energy that enlivens you from the inside out, and she is sharing how to get in touch with that version of yourself today.

It might be scary to deny what you have been taught, but questioning what you know and coming up with a new belief can be powerful, not frightening. If you are having a crisis and feeling trapped, Lucinda is a kind voice of hope to help you get your life back to balanced. By checking your energy and tapping into who you truly are, you can live the life you have always dreamed of.

Do you struggle with the pressures created by society? Let us know where you are at in the comments below!

In This Episode

  • Why you may be betraying your authentic self without knowing it
  • How looking at anger as a motivator can help get you moving
  • Discovering your childlike authentic self and embracing your inner wildness
  • Creating instead of focusing on the problem and getting out of your routine
  • Getting in touch with your animal symbol to better understand yourself

Quotes

“We want to feel loveable and fit in. So we end up conforming to other peoples rules. The rules of the society, our culture, our family. And we deny our authenticity on the inside” (3:57)

“I always come full circle with tragedy and obstacles in my life as ‘oh this lead me here and without this happening, I wouldn’t have gotten here and I learned so much and it is really not about the other, it is about me’.” (10:21)

“I always look at everything now as an immersion. I don’t know it unless I am immersed in it. (16:05)

“Wild just implies movement, and the only thing constant in nature is change. So we are meant to be constantly moving on that wheel” (20:43)

“Our authentic self actually has a gift that we are meant to share with the world to be a better place, and that gives our life a higher purpose and deeper meaning (23:04)

Links

Confessions of a Bone Woman by Lucinda Bakken White

Lucinda’s Inner Wildness Guide Website

Lucinda’s Weekly Blog

Other Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 027: 10 Steps to Cope with Betrayal w/ Dr. Debi Silber

027: 10 Steps to Cope with Betrayal w/ Dr. Debi Silber

When we think of trauma, we often think of tragic accidents, natural disasters, the death of a loved one or a frightening diagnosis. These situations rock us to our core, shatter us as well as everything we’ve counted on. Yet, there’s another type of trauma that can rock us as well and it happens when those we’ve trusted and/or were dependent upon betray us. It’s called “betrayal trauma.” For example, a child experiences sexual abuse from a relative, your partner steals the company funds, your spouse has an affair, your best friend lied to you. These traumas may range in severity but regardless, they all hurt because these betrayals destroy our trust. They shift our perspective, change how we view others and the world and leave us questioning our relationships and ourselves. How can you cope with betrayal? Here are a few strategies:

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

  1. It’s Not About You: These betrayals aren’t about you. Anyone who was “awake and aware”, connected, had even a moderate level of self-esteem, integrity and self-love couldn’t hurt a fly. As the saying goes: “hurt people, hurt people.” By no means does this make their actions excusable, but it does help you understand that you were the unfortunate recipient, not the cause.
  2. Stages of Grief: We know that when someone passes, there are predictable stages of grief as we slowly learn to adjust to our loss. Betrayal involves the grieving process too as you grieve the loss of trust, a friendship, or what you originally hoped and planned. It takes time so be gentle with yourself as you grieve the loss of what was.
  3. Healing Happens in Layers and Stages: When you’re betrayed, you don’t have a few hard days and wake up one morning feeling great. It’s a process and often one that moves you two steps forward and one step back. Keep moving forward.
  4. Support: Betrayal hurts so reach out and get the support you need. Whether that’s a trusted friend or family member, therapist, coach or healer, having supportive, unbiased people around you who see things from a different perspective can help.
  5. Be Watchful yet Hopeful: Don’t let a betrayal turn you into someone who is negative, bitter and resentful. Sure you have every right to be and if you told your story to anyone they’d agree. But, when you stay rooted in the past, it’s as if that person who hurt you now has power over your future. Take your power back and while you’re sure to be watchful, stay hopeful.
  6. Watch that Wall-When we’re betrayed, it’s common to put a wall up around our heart so no one can ever hurt us that way again. Sure we’re keeping out “the bad guys” but we’re keeping out “the good guys” too. It may be instinctual to keep everyone at a distance to prevent that pain from happening again but don’t deny yourself the love, companionship, and affection you deserve.
  7. Don’t Bring your Past into your Future: When we’re betrayed, it’s so common to look at every new situation from the viewpoint of the past…and then often recreate it. I call it “rear view mirror thinking” where there’s a huge front windshield in front of you, yet we’re staring at the small rear view mirror only to create more of the same. Break that habit and create a future you love.
  8. Mindset: It’s easy to replay the trauma or event over and over in our minds as we try to make sense of it. Be careful because when you’re doing this so often, you’re making that thinking a belief, then a habit, then a personality trait and eventually, a way of being. Once it’s firmly rooted, it’s now playing over and over at a subconscious level, impacting every thought, action, and decision you make.
  9. Take Control of What You Can: A betrayal can have us feel like our lives are completely out of control so controlling what you can, whether that’s what you eat, how you move, how you dress or the words you speak can all help you feel like you’re being proactive, versus reactive. This gives us a sense of power and helps us heal.
  10. Forgive and Set Yourself Free: Forgiveness is just a word until you actually have to do it. It speaks a language the logical and rational mind doesn’t understand and that’s why it’s so hard to do. Forgiveness doesn’t make it right, okay or that you’ve forgotten. Forgiveness is about you. It’s about letting go of the pain the betrayal caused so you can heal physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.

Betrayal doesn’t have to become your whole story. It can become a part of your story of transformation as you learn how to take that pain and use it to become your most empowered and unshakable self.

Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

 

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 026: Turning from Sorrow into Sunshine w/ Suzanne Borelli

026: Turning from Sorrow into Sunshine w/ Suzanne Borelli

Often we define ourselves by our relationships, so when they crumble, we are left unsure how to rebuild everything around us. Suzanne Borelli experienced her own marital trauma and has worked every day to put aside her negative self-esteem to turn around her life for the better. Now in the best state of her life, Suzanne was a member of my ‘Fab 14’ Ph.D. study, and her contributions helped unveil discoveries around how women deal with betrayal.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

Today Suzanne is opening up about how she picked up the pieces, why you should make sure to put yourself on the list, and the importance of self-awareness, plus so much more. Our betrayal does not define who we are or our future, and Suzanne is all about taking micro steps towards creating a better situation for yourself.

Through her experience, Suzanne has become passionate about helping other women process their own grief and come out swinging on the other side. An advocate for prioritizing self-care, focusing on being thankful and taking note of your daily actions to improve yourself, Suzanne is a bright light and inspiring example.

Have you experienced a betrayal similar to Suzanne’s? Let us know in the comments below!

In This Episode

  • The three discoveries made during the ‘Fab 14’ study
  • Creating a new set of your own rules after betrayal
  • The difference between a post-betrayal transformation and post-betrayal syndrome
  • Why your biggest crisis can reveal your greatest gift
  • Doing something for yourself every single day to make you feel better

Quotes

“If I could be of service and if I could help other women with the same struggle, I really wanted to be a part of that” (2:58)

“I realized that the pain of staying where I was stuck, that pain was much stronger than any of the pain of trying to experience something new” (8:43)

“I feel like my loved ones get a better version of me if I have self-care every day” (14:42)

“I was very mindful of okay, this has happened, how can I conquer this or how can I work with this?” (20:43)

“Part of this experience has rebirthed me or woken me up and I just feel really happy and lucky” (24:37)

Links

Feeling Fantastic Today

Feeling Fantastic Today on Facebook | Email

Other Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

 

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 025: 7 Steps to Dealing with a Terrible Outcome w/ Dr. Debi Silber

025: 7 Steps To Dealing With A Terrible Outcome w/ Dr. Debi Silber

So things didn’t go as planned. In fact, you may be looking at what seems like a colossal failure. It can be so challenging to pick ourselves up after falling down (repeatedly) and being someone known to “run enthusiastically in the wrong direction” I feel your frustration. Sure it’s easy to give up and give in but here are 7 steps I’ve found really helpful to get back up again.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

  1. Acknowledge it: Trying to pretend like it didn’t happen may seem like a worthy goal but it’s a recipe for prolonged pain. Here’s where the saying “what we resist, persists” comes in really handy. By facing it, acknowledging it and looking at it squarely, you’re able to see it clearly. Only when we can see things clearly are we able to learn and grow from what we’ve seen.
  2. Ruminate don’t marinate: The process of rumination is when we go over an experience in order to make sense out of the situation. This can be really helpful to a degree. Once we’ve made sense out of it, it’s important to move to the next step before we start marinating in it. Ruminate for too long and it becomes a very comfortable and familiar space and that’s not where you want to stay. Use the information to see why something happened, possibly see what areas need to change for next time, but get out of that space before it’s too cozy to leave.
  3. Learn from it: An experience is useless unless we learn the lesson it left in its wake. Did you learn you needed more support, more time, more direction or different resources? Do you see that the timing was off, your boundaries weren’t specific enough or there was a challenge with communication? Here’s where we’re usually really hard on ourselves but try to approach this by speaking with yourself how you’d speak with a friend. I’m sure you wouldn’t berate your friend, telling him/her how dumb their idea was and why they deserved to have it fail, so don’t do that to yourself. Love, compassion, and patience are what’s needed for this phase.
  4. Try a different approach: A willingness to change and doing something different is the only way to bring about a different result. It could be a different approach, a different method, a different level of support or even a different level of thinking. Changing how you think/act/react will ensure a different result next time.
  5. New rules: So you’ve looked squarely at your experience, learned from it, and know what you need to do differently next time. Now it’s time to create some new rules if not for others, for yourself. What do you insist upon this time? What’s a deal breaker and what needs to be in place before you invest your time, money, effort and energy again? Do you need to know your idea is divinely inspired, more strategically coordinated or better timed? Get those rules set so you’re clear. It’ll also give you more confidence when you try again.
  6. Forgive: Resentment is one of the most physically and emotionally destructive emotions we can have. It suppresses your immune system, creates accelerated aging and wreaks havoc on your body and mind. Whether that means forgiving yourself or forgiving the person who hurt you or let you down, forgiving and letting go of that resentment helps you let go of the pain and clear the space for a new beginning.
  7. Trust the process: I know it can seem like nothing ever goes your way and you’re destined to spend a lifetime trying to get it right but the reality is, the universe is conspiring in your favor. Believe that, trust the process and watch it eventually unfold.

Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 024: Clearing the Betrayal Program from Your Energy Field w/ Sarah Weiss

024: Clearing the Betrayal Program from Your Energy Field w/ Sarah Weiss

There is a reason you are having physical, emotional or mental pain that you might not understand. Sarah Weiss has been trained by spiritual masters from many traditions and uses her skills and a medical intuitive to bridge the gap between symptoms and relief. After 45 years of committed learning about awakening high-frequency awareness, subtle energy perception, and self-empowerment, Sarah is empowering others to awaken their own healing capabilities through healing.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

Today we are diving right into how our bodies are connected to greater things happening around us, and why it might be playing a big role in your overall health. Sarah is sharing the power of the collective, how to use your body to take painful memories and turn it into positive energy, plus so much more.

The more we tune into our intuition and the subtle energy of our beings, the better we are able to connect to our inner truth compass and live in a safer state. Sarah is walking us through what it takes to connect back to your truth and work to clean out your system every day. A unique and interesting perspective, Sarah is sharing her wealth of knowledge with us on this episode. Does Sarah’s description of an Empath relate to you? Let us know in the comments below!

In This Episode

  • Why your body may be responding to threats that you forgot existed
  • Tuning into the flow of positive energy in your system
  • Taking on other peoples emotions as an Empath and how to protect yourself
  • Why some of us are more susceptible to other peoples energy than others
  • How betrayal can affect your mind, emotions and especially your body

Quotes

“Betrayal is something that usually your body knows about, your intuition knows about it, long before your mind knows about it” (3:33)

“Tuning in to your body becoming more embodies actually helps you feel safer than if you dissociate” (13:07)

“I love to think of a loving Mother Earth taking in that energy through her heart and loving me back with beautiful energy” (25:10)

“Betrayal is in the water we drink in the air we breathe, and so a lot of it is not personal, it is ignorance. It’s real ignorance.” (31:40)

Links

SpiritHeal Online Website

Other Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 023: Change w/ Dr. Debi Silber

023: Change w/ Dr. Debi Silber

Let’s face it, change is hard and within change is the inherent fear factor- leaving what we have known and are comfortable with and not knowing what the future will bring. Of course, the more comfortable and content we are with our situation, the more difficult it is to make the adjustment.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

Yet even knowing that change in life is inevitable, it very often still fills us with a sense of grief. Losing a friend, job, or opportunity understandably fills us with tremendous sadness, as a break-up, betrayal, or disappointment can, but even seemingly happy occasions can be just as traumatic. Especially if they are situations that force us to move from one stage life to another. Graduating from high school or college, leaving a job or moving to a new location, birthdays, weddings and retirement can fill us with distress. Leaving what we’ve known, are used to, and are comfortable with, whether good or bad, can lead us to that overwhelming sense of loss and/or anxiety.

The crux of the anxiety associated with change comes from the fact that we feel that we are losing something. At times, we may even feel that we have no control. Shifting that paradigm will go a long way to making the process smoother and less painful and it really isn’t as hard as you may think.

Acceptance is key.

 Although it’s perfectly natural to want to fight against the tide, cross our arms, dig our heels in to prevent change, it can be as impossible as preventing the change of seasons. Taking the time to fully understand your feelings and their complexity is an essential part of acceptance. As exciting as it may be to start something new, we may also be experiencing fear, nervousness, and anxiety about what we’re leaving behind. It helps to:

  1. Focus on the positives that the change will bring.
  2. Be patient with yourself- understand that it takes time to adjust to a new normal.
  3. Visualize specific benefits associated with the change, such as making new friends, navigating through unchartered territory, and discovering things about yourself.
  4. Get caught in the positive wave. This can help you see and focus on what you’re gaining versus what you’ve lost.

Practice gratitude.

Being appreciative for what you’ve known and the joy it has given you goes a long way in moving on. Taking time to reflect on where the experience fits into the bigger picture is very helpful.

  1. Understanding that life is about growth and learning.
  2. Honoring what you have learned.
  3. Finding the gift in the change goes a long way in accepting what is.

It may take some effort, but it is possible to promote enthusiasm for what’s to come.

Sometimes, reflection and redefinition are called for.

Very often when you’ve spent a long time doing something, such as child-rearing, it’s difficult to envision doing anything else.  It is not unusual to experience emptiness and disconnection in such a situation. Many people feel lost and confused about who they are when their identity had been so strongly associated with a particular purpose in life. Now that our role is changing it is not uncommon to experience an identity crisis. Having to redefine ourselves can often cause us to experience grief as we mourn the person we used to be, but it can also be exciting to imagine who we are becoming.

  1. Be patient with yourself.
  2. Take the time to get reacquainted with yourself.
  3. Identify how you have changed- what were you like before this stage of your life?
  4. What do you yearn for now?

82% of the participants who participated in a recent survey that I conducted on betrayal said that they wanted to move forward, but that they didn’t know how. When you’re in the middle of a major life change, no matter what the change, it’s hard to imagine ever becoming your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual best. But it can happen. It just takes a commitment to do so. You are worth dedicating time to understand and take care of yourself and to transform into the best version of you, yet!

Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

From Betrayal To Breakthrough 022: Change Your Name, Change Your Life w/ Emerald Peaceful GreenForest

022: Change Your Name, Change Your Life w/ Emerald Peaceful GreenForest

Emerald Peaceful GreenForest is a wonderful example of someone who can continually find hope, healing, and compassion in whatever life throws at her, and comes back stronger every time. The ‘Empress of Encouragement’, Emerald is a premier and trusted advisor to many of the worlds leading influencers in the personal and professional development industry.

Or, listen on your favorite app: iTunes (Apple Podcasts) | Spotify | Stitcher | TuneIn

Today Emerald is sharing some interesting perspectives and ways to heal from a betrayal that you may not have tried before. Along with her emotionally unstable childhood, struggle through her 3-year-old son’s sexual abuse, and abusive relationships, Emerald has continued to keep her faith and heal her relationship with herself. On this episode Emerald is sharing her journey, what inspires her to keep going, and so much more.

If you are feeling confused as a leader in your current reality, but have a strong calling and big vision, Emerald is an inspiring and enlighted voice of clarity in the sea of confusion. We are opening up to the vastness of reality and healing your trauma one step at a time through specific processes and intentions.

How does your story relate to Emerald’s? Let us know in the comments below!

In This Episode

  • Cultural conditioning and creating a model of self-care
  • How sound can release and heal trauma on a molecular level
  • Different modalities of healing and ways to start from the inside out
  • Letting go of what once was to make room for what can be
  • Opening up to the vastness of reality and starting to use your intention

Quotes

“What’s really interesting about therapy is it allows you to distinguish what’s going on, but it doesn’t necessarily help you to transcend it.” (8:40)

“A lot of the shifts that happened in my life came as a result of what I am going to call divine intervention.” (15:54)

“Gratitude is the currency of the universe, and currency is gratitude in action” (30:20)

Links

Instant Clarity Meditation Gift

Men on Purpose Podcast

Emerald GreenForest Website

Lil’ Iguana Children’s Safety Foundation

Other Resources

Women Hacking Betrayal Facebook Group

Have you taken the Post-Betrayal Quiz yet?

Keep up to everything From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Follow Dr. Debi Silber on Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn

1 7 8 9 10 11 13
>