It’s common to struggle with low self-esteem, confidence, and feelings of unworthiness-especially if we grew up hearing without the love and support we may have needed to create a strong sense of self. Add to that being blindsided by those we’ve trusted and it’s definitely going to have us questioning ourselves, our worth, even our sanity. How do we regain and reclaim a sense of worth, confidence, and empowerment? That’s what this episode is all about.
“You can’t change something you’re not aware of.” [2:21]
“You will see the ultimate version of you, at your physical, mental and emotional best, at your personal and professional best.” [4:18]
“We’re like minds coming together, working towards a common goal.” [5:06]
“There’s so much you want to do. But it’s hidden under layers of fear, doubt, insecurity.” [7:39]
Post Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. Over 7,000 people have taken the assessment to see to what extent they’re struggling. While they share lots of details, this week, we’re talking about why people tend to stay stuck.
Are you ready to heal from Post Betrayal Syndrome? Share your story below!
“We see betrayals showing up in every single area of life.” [0:55]
“Over time, these unhealed betrayals keep us sick, sad, stuck.” [2:28]
“Here’s the problem – once we figured out how we can survive the experience, that’s as far as we go.” [3:31]
“There’s a version of you so confident, so healthy, so energized, so bold, so empowered, so awesome, that’s just waiting to be worth it.” [8:22]
You have probably heard of mindfulness as a buzzword before, but have you ever taken the time to explore exactly what the mind is? Darrin Ford is a licensed marriage and family therapist, nationally recognized speaker and internationally recognized author, who is here today to share his knowledge about the utilization of mindfulness when looking for ways to heal.
You can practice mindfulness while walking, sitting, standing, or lying down. By practicing weaving your mindfulness into your everyday activities, you can change the way you think, act, and react and find more peace. Mindfulness can help you be less reactive to your triggers and help you on your path towards healing.
Darrin knows what it is like to be stuck in a trauma or addiction loop, and is here today to share his knowledge with you so that you can stop feeding into your reactions and start being more present. By adopting an observational relationship with your thoughts, behaviors, and habits, you can better understand your emotions and start to interject mindfulness to better suit your destiny. Time, consistency, and self-compassion are the keys to mindfulness, and with Darrin’s help, you can integrate mindfulness into your daily life seamlessly.
Are you ready to take the time to adapt mindfulness into your life? Share your history with mindfulness with us in the comments below.
“You start to integrate these small interjections of mindfulness into your life, in small little doses, not in these big formal old fashioned ways. That doesn’t work for our busy lives, it’s not functional.” (6:22)
“It’s not that they wouldn’t feel the emotion connected to the trigger, its the way that we react to that emotion would be different, or would be more constructive versus destructive.” (14:59)
“You are the observer of this moment. You are the thing that sees your thoughts, see your mind’s reaction. You’re the one who has the ability to see that and then once you see it you can make a choice. I’m not saying that’s an easy choice, I’m not saying that when you choose not to react in the addictive, compulsive way, that you won’t feel a lot of emotional distress. You absolutely will. However, that is what’s needed.” (22:30)
“Emotions move us, they are an unconscious feeling that drives our thoughts. Our thoughts manifest into beliefs, our beliefs manifest into behaviors, our behaviors are practiced into habits, and our habits become our destiny.” (24:33)
Post betrayal syndrome is the collection of physical, mental and emotional symptoms.
Over 7,000 people at this point, took the assessment to see up to what extent they’re struggling from. So many need heartbreaking details, but one came in and I thought would really help because it’s something we see all the time: after all the betrayal we’ve been through, can people really keep their faith?
Are you ready to heal from post betrayal syndrome? Share your history with repeat betrayals with us in the comments below.
“I’ve been through betrayal so many times I have no faith that I wouldn’t find myself in another situation where betrayal is possible. And I just want relief.” [1:16]
“Repeat betrayals happen when you haven’t learned the significant lesson that betrayal was there to teach.” [1:28]
“At a time where we need support the most, we’re the least likely to seek it because we’re embarrassed, we feel uncomfortable. There’s so much shame.” [9:03]
“They may walk in with that trauma, but they are leaving transformed.” [11:43]
“There’s just a version of you so healthy, so strong, so awesome. And we need to clear that up to the best of you can just show up.” [12:19]
Sue Mocker is an author, professional speaker, and hope consultant. Sue works in the spheres of healthcare, ministry, education, and business to make transformational changes in the matters of the heart. After experiencing both marital betrayal and familial betrayal, Sue did the hard work to find hope after healing and is here today to share her knowledge with you.
Through her humorous and homemade stories, Sue is helping prove that while hurt people may hurt people, healed people can heal people as well. Sue wants you to know that there is a different way to think, be loved, heal, and grow by setting boundaries and honoring the level of treatment that you are deserving of.
By getting out of denial, calling out the lies you tell yourself, and grieving the process of betrayal, you can take giant brave leaps to be healed in a deep way while healing yourself and those around you.
You are worth it to take the time to seek out help and find strength in your healing. Are you ready to do what Sue did and discover what is really true? Let us know what healing options you are exploring in the comments below.
“I accepted poor treatment, I accepted things that people should never be accepted for treatment for their body. But what I do know, and what I have learned, is that childhood trauma, childhood sexual abuse, totally distorts the brain, totally changes what you think about yourself, totally reorganizes things in a way that creates a belief system about love, and it distorts it all.” (7:44)
“I started believing and understanding that my childhood trauma actually is connected to healing from this betrayal.” (10:15)
“There are all different kinds of reasons as to why we feel inadequate, insecure, unworthy, in different relationships. And its always helped me in my next step, whatever I was ready for.” (18:58)
“You do have value. There is hope, and there are modalities of healing out there that you may or may not connect too, that you may or may not have heard of, know about. Just find an opportunity to be open for something to be shown to you that is your next step.” (26:50)
“Healed people heal people, healing people heal people, you don’t have to be completely there, you don’t have to have completely arrived, but you are worth it.” (27:43)
If you ask me, fear is the biggest reason we stay stuck in our lives. While fear is at the root of almost everything, it is only by understanding the differences between irrational and realistic fears and constructive and destructive fears that we can reach the power of transformational fear. Dr. Carla Marie Manly is a clinical psychologist, author, and advocate who is here today to help us understand the different types of fear, how to work with them, and how to minimize them so that we can take action in a way that serves us best.
With a direct and honest approach with a dose of humor, Dr. Manly is here to help you navigate the soulful adventure into self-awareness. Instead of getting used to the voice of destructive fear that is prevalent in our society, Dr. Manly wants you to slow down and regain your power over your fear.
When going through a betrayal it is easy to stick to what you know and stay in your pain because it is familiar. Through the application of Dr. Manly’s strategies, you can start to strengthen the constructive over the destructive and stop giving your betrayal wiggle room. It is possible to overcome what is keeping you stuck, and with the help of Dr. Manly, you can gain insight into this challenging topic and find a way to focus on your optimal wellness.
The feelings you are having are universal and nothing to be ashamed of. By pushing through the shame you can start on your journey to healing and the joy that has been in you all along. Are you ready to allow yourself the power of knowing that through perseverance you can find the other side of fear? Share what gave you the most hope from Dr. Manly’s advice in the comments below.
“Unfortunately in this day and age, many of us are being riddled with irrational fears, unrealistic fears, that keep us from change, that keep us stuck and immobilized in life.” (3:05)
“This is the beautiful part about destructive fear. Destructive fear does not like the light. Destructive fear does not like clarity. Destructive fear does not like written agreements at all because destructive fear likes to be able to be manipulative and sneaky.” (12:56)
“When we make goals for ourselves, when we put things in writing, it becomes much more understandable for the psyche. That is why so many of us will make wishlists in our heads or think in our heads and not want to put it in writing. Because the minute we put something in writing, we feel a sense of clarity and accountability.” (19:04)
“There is something beautiful and connective about being held in a safe place where you can hear other women’s stories. Their lows, their successes, and know that if they can do it, I can do it too.” (21:48)
“Everything is to do with a reminder to the self when you get weak, that these are real things that happen. Is that in line with the kind of life I want in my future?” (26:20)
Most good comedy and humor come from the painful parts of life, but have you ever considered how finding the humor in a hard situation could help you heal? Paul Osincup is a humor strategist, TEDx speaker, and leading expert in the professional application of humor to reduce stress, build resilience, increase influence, and boost happiness. Paul believes in the power of humor in leadership and is here today to share how humor can enhance health and human performance.
Paul is on a mission to increase global workplace happiness by helping others rewire themselves to find the funny. By implementing tools to help you laugh a bit more, you may be able to heal from your betrayal a bit easier as well. There is real power in humor, and if you need help getting started, Paul is here to introduce you to the world of humor and help you develop your sense of humor intentionally and strategically. Laughing is proven to reduce cortisol, boosts serotonin and oxytocin, and helps improve your connection with others.
By spicing up the mundane things in your life that you have to do, laughter is possible no matter what you are going through. Regardless of what type of humor you like, you can encourage the presence of humor in your life by implementing Paul’s simple and effective strategies. Are you ready to train your brain to look for humor in the mundane and painful? Share how laughter has helped you heal in the comments below.
“Humor is not a talent, humor is a habit.” (3:26)
“Ultimately, like any other form of communication, I think humor can be used as a tool and as a weapon. And for me, I like humor that makes people feel good and makes me feel good.” (7:34)
“We studied the application of humor and just doing that exercise seven days, writing down three things you found amusing or funny each day, they found actually decreases depressive symptoms and increases happiness for up to six months.” (17:02)
“Humor is one of the things that actually starts firing in all areas of the brain, and so it does a lot for our overall feelings of happiness.” (19:09)
“Just because something is hurtful, doesn’t mean it’s not okay to laugh about it. And there is a really close connection between laughing and crying.” (22:39)
“Regardless of what you are going through… you don’t have to hope for humor to happen. You can harness it and be intentional about it.” (28:34)
Stories of burnout are becoming increasingly frequent, but the standard medical community often brushes away the symptoms. After experiencing her own personal burnout, Nikole Stanfield realized that she needed to help others improve themselves through the same personal development. Now an Intuition Coach who helps successful business owners and entrepreneurs stop feeling unfulfilled and work through their burnout, Nikole’s passion is helping others love what they do.
In this episode, we will discover the connection between burnout and self-betrayal, learn ways that you can start to decrease your overwhelm in less than 30 minutes a day, and discover how we can break free from expectations to find a more authentic version of yourself. One for all of the people pleasers, type a’s and hard workers out there, Nikole’s advice is not to be missed.
The thoughts you have had in the past may have served you then, but by shifting your thought patterns you can start to go after what you really want and not what you feel obligated to do. While it may feel excruciatingly painful to say no to somebody, by pushing through the uncomfortable, you can start to say yes to yourself instead.
Are you ready to transform from an anchor into a set of wings? Share your experiences with burnout with us in the comments below.
“I’m an overachiever and have done so many things and have been super busy in my life, so this was a totally new place to be, and I had no idea what to do. I was terrified, and I didn’t know how to move forward.” (5:05)
“That’s where I feel like the betrayal came in. That I just ran over myself. And I didn’t listen to anything I wanted or what was best for me.” (9:49)
“When you are an entrepreneur you start taking on all these things that you need to hustle, this concept, you need to make sure that you are wearing all these different hats… and it gets overwhelming, its too much.” (17:07)
“If it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for them. I don’t have to fall on the sword.” (21:39)
“The important part is that you recognize that you are having those thoughts. So then you can say okay, maybe I want to journal about it. Or you talk to someone you care about who will just listen to you. Or you work with a coach, or you meditate on it. Whatever that is, you can start to see how often this guilt is showing up in your life or this phrase that you keep telling yourself.” (25:06)
Are you exhausted with all you are doing to be beautiful? With all of that effort, you could be betraying yourself by denying discovering who you really are. Diane Kazer is a former pro-soccer player turned functional diagnostic nutrition practitioner, courage coach, and holistic beauty expert. Your go-to-girl to break through anything despite what you have been through or been told, Diane is here today to stop the patterns of toxic beauty and put an end to the toxic stories we tell ourselves once and for all.
The price of being beautiful is one of the biggest measures of self-betrayal, and Diane is here to help you release the toxic chemicals, toxic stories, and beliefs that are keeping you confined to your suffering, sickness, and sadness. By cleansing your body, healing your hormones, and igniting your life, Diane’s tried and true method of healing can help you discover and appreciate who you are truly meant to be.
Diane wants to show you the template of a healthier way of life so that you can cleanse your stories, heal your trauma, and ignite your purpose. If you are spending a lifetime trying to please others in the way that you look, feel, and live, you will never find the fulfillment you are so deserving of.
Are you ready to get to the root of your beliefs so that you can start healing and believing that you are enough? Share what you loved most about Diane’s framework with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“This is what we are taught, that if you don’t have this perfect shaped face and nose and hair and body and butt and boobs, then you are going to “kicked out of this tribe”. And what is this tribe? This tribe is called Instagram, this tribe is called Facebook, this tribe is called the magazines and the media and pop culture. And so when we don’t follow the template we have this sense of shame and this shame is the self-betrayal that I want to talk about.” (4:01)
“There are three ways that we can self betray. And that is physical, emotional, and spiritual.” (9:26)
“There is wisdom in the wound, and in that shadow, you can find your light. But only until you have faced your darkness will you know your light, so it takes so much courage.” (17:30)
“You want to know what your future looks like? Look at your past. If you haven’t healed it, it’s going to keep happening.” (22:44)
“This needs to happen now. Look at our world, we need all of you, every single one of you to rise. And it starts with using your own eyes to undisguised yourself of who you think you are supposed to be.” (25:15)
Jodi Cohen is one of the bravest people I know, and one of my personal heroes. After losing her son in a devastating accident only 18 months ago, Jodi had to deal with not only the betrayal of expectations when you become a parent, but also the ripple effect her family’s story sent through her community.
An award-winning journalist, best selling author, functional practitioner, and founder of Vibrant Blue Oils, Jodi has combined her life experiences, training in nutritional therapy, and aromatherapy to create unique proprietary blends of essential oils that have helped tens of thousands of people.
Jodi is all about gaining an understanding of post-traumatic growth and helping others focus on moments of clarity and relief. By getting out of the state of anger created by your mind and emotions, Jodi believes that you can get unstuck and heal in a real and authentic way. If you want to gain an understanding of the many layers of healing that take place, how to deal with outsiders and friends after a betrayal, or gain a sense of Jodi’s strength and resilience, this is the episode for you.
A topic that nobody ever wants to deal with, but that is so important to shed light on, Jodi is here to provide guidance, love, and most importantly, understanding. Do you know someone who would resonate with Jodi’s story? Tag them in the comments below.
In This Episode
“Who goes out there and publicly broadcasts that you are a hot mess? Who that loves you is going to do that when you are in your deepest darkest hour? It is someone who really liked external validation, really liked the kudos that she got from being able to say she was supporting me.” (10:34)
“There was nothing in between, it was almost like the volume was on mute, or the highest decibel ever. And so just trying to navigate that so that you had more options, more speeds than just super low or super high, by helping yourself kind of center and ground with the oil.” (17:15)
“Its almost like you have to feel safe to really release. Because I think anger is the top layer of fear and sadness, and its almost like a tough nut to crack. Once you can get through that anger, then you can get to the core of the issue, and you can start to release it and move out of it.” (20:20)
“There are always new learning and new skills and peeling off the onion.” (22:32)
“I want to make sure everybody knows that they are not alone, that there is no shame. This is not something that they chose, and that there are periods that will be better, this is not forever.” (30:27)
Dr. Anna Cabeca experienced a hormonal betrayal by her body when she was diagnosed with infertility and early menopause at the age of 38. Refusing to lay down and accept this, Dr. Cabeca started on a personal wellness journey to reduce her menopause side effects, which resulted in the delivery of a baby girl three years after her diagnosis.
After experiencing her own health successes, Dr. Cabeca began counseling others and has since changed the lives of thousands of women across the globe. With her Keto-Green 16 program, Dr. Cabeca can help you lose weight, feel more energetic, and gain the clarity and sense of calm that you have been longing for.
When you feel like you have lost control, taking care of your body and your hormones are one of the top ways that you can start to regain your inner power. Today Dr. Cabeca is here to explain everything from hormones such as cortisol and oxytocin to the benefits of intermittent fasting and building up insulin sensitivity.
By enhancing your physiology and hormonal control you can improve your quality of life, mental state, and more. If you are ready for strategies to help you make lemonade out of your life’s lemons, this is the episode for you. Let us know what you found most interesting about Dr. Cabeca’s knowledge and inspiring story with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“When our body is having to make excess insulin, we become insulin resistant. And that increases our risk factors for diabetes, hypertension and Alzheimers and dementia.” (12:39)
“I’ve worked with thousands of patients and honestly everyone can do it, we are designed to do it.” (16:31)
“The piece that surpasses all understanding is nothing in my external environment had changed, but my internal milieu had changed. So the most important for me was this piece.” (19:14)
“This approach of creating insulin sensitivity, managing cortisol, and putting oxytocin in the winners circle so to speak, gave me my life back.” (20:18)
“It takes more than hormones to fix our hormones.” (25:21)
“Physiology drives behavior. So we have to heal the physiology in order, often, to get control of our thoughts and our mental atmosphere, and it does make a difference.” (28:25)
Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt the energy? Everything in our world is made up of energy, including our own personal energy vortexes within our bodies. Dr. Ellen Albertson is a psychologist, registered dietitian, national board-certified health and wellness coach, reiki master and mindful self-compassion teacher who knows a thing or two about energy.
Dr. Ellen uses the power of our energy chakras to help women get unstuck and find confidence, energy, and clarity. Dubbed The Midlife Whisperer, Dr. Ellen is here today to explain how betrayal can impact you energetically, and share ways that you can regain your balance and feel more grounded and in control.
By connecting with your deep energetic wisdom you can start to trust your intuition, heal your chakras and implement self-compassion into your daily life. Everything from the way you dress to the amount of self-love you provide yourself can have a huge impact on your ability to heal. If you want actionable ways that you can start to reverse the energetic damage caused by your betrayal, this is an episode you cannot miss.
All of the resources you need to survive are inside of yourself. Are you ready to harness the power of your chakras and start treating yourself like your own best friend? Share how you use the power of your energy and self-compassion to heal with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“Think about all the cells in your body came from sunlight. Everything you’ve eaten has either come from a plant or an animal that ate a plant, so you really are an energetic being.” (7:03)
“In terms of betrayal, this can really be shut down, because this is where joy lives. So in terms of being betrayed, you kind of feel that whole connection with life force, feeling creative, feeling vibrant is really kaput.” (10:58)
“You can feel these chakras in your body. You are not able to speak your truth, you’re not able to feel connected and communicate with people.” (16:53)
“We can heal and actually create something better, and everything is happening for your highest good.” (19:10)