Have you ever heard of the DISC assessment? Midori Verity is one of the most innovative and successful marriage and communication coaches out there, who helps couples elevate their relationships by improving communication. Midori uses the DISC assessment to identify personality traits and help her clients adapt and adjust so that they can have a more peaceful and harmonious relationship, and is here today to share her knowledge with you.
If you are feeling unheard in your relationship or need help connecting, Midori’s insight into the four personality types can help you press the reset button and start to develop more support and synergy in your relationship. The DISC assessment can help you understand why your relationship is in trouble, assess what you need to do to move forward, and even help you when making decisions in the future.
By learning about what makes your personality type tick, you can better prepare yourself to find the job or relationship that suits you perfectly, and who doesn’t want that? When it comes to relationships, it is all about the Platinum Rule, which helps you speak the language your partner speaks so that you know you are both being heard and understood.
Are you ready to learn about you and your partner’s personality types and harness that information to start speaking each other’s languages? Share where you fall on the DISC assessment with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“We all have a different language, we all have a different behavioral style and personality type, and when we can match that, we are going to be listened to more, we are going to be received more, and our conversations are going to be much more successful.” (3:37)
“When you go through challenges in life, whether it’s in your relationship or outside of your relationship it doesn’t matter, but when we go through challenges and we feel stressed, we react differently, that’s why this is so important.” (11:02)
“In general, our natural graphs stay about the same, they will not change that much. But, we can learn techniques to help us improve in certain areas so that we can acquiesce in relationships.” (27:15)
“You have to kind of get to know what you are. I recommend for everybody to take a DISC assessment, even if you did before, take it again. And think about it from a relationship standpoint.” (28:29)
“The way that we see the world, is not how others see the world. So if you are bashing heads with your partner, often just some tweaks in the way that you understand them and the way you respond to them will diffuse situations.” (30:16)
Dr. Corey Allan is a marriage and family therapist, author, speaker and licensed professional counselor with a Ph.D. in family therapy. He and his wife run Sexy Marriage, a podcast and online article resource that aims to help those experiencing difficulties in a partnership and provide resources to work through the dark days to experience more passion and trust in their relationships.
Unfortunately, betrayal has become an increasingly frequent part of any relationship, and it is only by understanding the steps necessary to overcoming partnership betrayal that you can start making the steps that feel best for your unique situation.
Corey believes that marriage is more about becoming a better human than it is about the two people being happy. And when you keep things simple, you can experience more in marriage and life. By learning how to trust yourself again, accepting the cyclical cycle of getting better and becoming a major player in your relationship for your own sake, you can earn back your free choice and start living a life that demonstrates that you are worth choosing.
If you are ready to take the courageous step and ask yourself how your marital betrayal can be used for personal development, Corey is the expert for you. Are you ready to reanalyze what you thought maybe a dealbreaker in your relationship? Share what you learned from Corey in the comments below.
In This Episode
“If they will buy into the fact that the relationship was co-created that helped create the dynamic to where an affair would occur. But whoever it was that was betrayed, it is not their fault, it was a choice by their spouse, by their partner.” (4:13)
“I am the therapist that I don’t hold people’s hands, I come straight at them. I figure you are paying money to get the truth, so lets not sugar coat stuff, that’s speaking to the best in people.” (12:38)
“This isn’t about what was done as much as it is the result, which is their hurt, their pain, their sadness, their disappointment, their grief, their whatever. Because what was has to be grieved, it was lost, so now we have to create something different.” (18:55)
“Affairs are actually symptoms of something else, they are not the main thing, they are a part of the main thing.” (22:33)
Joshua A. Shea is a recovering pornography addict who is here to shed a different light on the topic of porn addiction and what goes on inside the mind of a porn addict. Joshua’s 20-year addiction came to a head when he pulled himself off his bipolar medication and engaged an underage girl in an online chat room. Now sober, out of prison and still living with his wife and children, Joshua is here to explain the real motivating factors behind his own personal porn addiction.
For Joshua, it was never about the pornography or the alcohol but instead about the control he gained from using this material. If you have been hurt by someone’s porn usage or want to gain a better understanding of the decision-making process of a pornography addict, this is an episode you need to listen too.
Despite the fact that many adults look at pornography, it is a topic that nobody wants to talk about. Joshua wants to open up that conversation and shine a light on the problem of pornography addiction to help others who may be struggling as well. If you are the spouse or the partner of a pornography addict, Joshua wants to make sure that you know that it has nothing to do with you and provide you with insights to help you understand that there is no stereotypical addict.
Do you or somebody that you love struggle with pornography addiction? Share this episode with them and let us know how transformation has proven possible for you in the comments below.
In This Episode
“Pornography and alcohol, they both allowed me to escape someplace else. They allowed me to go somewhere where I was in control. And that ultimately is what my pornography addiction specifically was about my entire life.” (5:07)
“I think I even made the joke back then that all of these different people would only ever meet at my funeral, and they would all have very different stories to share with one another because they all knew different versions of me.” (10:46)
“Despite the magazine falling apart, despite the fact that I was drinking more and my relationships with my family were falling apart, life was crumbling, and the one place that I could exert control was in the middle of the night in these chat rooms.” (17:10)
“I don’t blame the addiction for what I did. The addiction did make me get out of control, it did make me not recognize cause and effect and not recognize what could happen and make poor decisions. However, I made the very poor decision to pull myself off my bipolar medication.” (21:41)
“Despite the fact that the vast majority of people are looking at pornography, everybody wants to pretend that they don’t. And if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, I am not even saying addicts, but if everybody pretends that they don’t look at pornography, how can we even begin to have conversations about pornography addiction?” (29:12)
Dr. Sheri Keffer‘s life came screeching to a halt when she found out that her new marriage to a pastor was filled with pornography, affairs, and prostitutes. Now a clinical sex addiction therapist and EMDR practitioner in addition to her audience of over two million people per week on her regular co-hosting gig at New Life Live, Dr. Sheri knows what it takes to heal and helps others realize that they are not alone, not crazy and can heal after sexual betrayal.
The way men and women experience sexual betrayal is very different, and it is only by engaging in a total truth-telling process that you can work to heal yourself and your relationship. The physical and mental symptoms of betrayal can seem overwhelming, but when you equip yourself with the right boundaries and ability to see the truth for what it is, healing is possible.
The process of rebuilding starts with you first, and it is Dr. Sheri’s mission is to give betrayed partners a roadmap to healing and recovery. With tools like EMDR and therapy, Dr. Sheri is here to tell you that you are worth fighting for and it is possible to rebuild with or without the person that hurt you as long as you have the truth first.
Have you or a loved one experienced sexual betrayal? How do you relate to Dr. Sheri’s story of deception and healing through exposing the truth? Share your story with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“All of it hurts, but the more intimate, the more emotional, the longer that relationship is, the more compulsive the sexual behavior is. It is harmful to us.” (4:59)
“At some point, I had to wake up from this nightmare I was living in that I really didn’t want to look at.” (10:34)
“A partner who is betrayed needs two things that are critical to heal, like two pillars, they need safety and they need the truth. And until they have those two things, a betrayed partner cannot settle into their body.” (19:17)
“The first step of recovery, whether you are staying with your partner or not, is recovery for yourself. Because you can’t fight for that relationship if you are lying flat on the ground.” (28:32)
“We have to be very proactive in getting in front of good therapists that know what they are doing with sexual deception.” (28:10)
Transformation happens through consistent action, major perspective shifts, and a willingness to adventure into the unknown. Regardless of how much trauma and betrayal you’ve experienced in your life, if you’re willing to put the work in, you will see results. Our guest, Monica Bennett, shares today how she’s worked through her past to now help women overcome theirs.
Monica’s parents were both Holocaust survivors and her childhood was full of fear and uncertainty. She grew up in an unhappy and disappointing environment and later learned that she was generationally passing these traumas onto her daughter. But over the years, she’s learned many coping mechanisms for working through and healing from her trauma.
The way we respond to betrayal can actually become a pattern in our lives; it’s something we get used to. Breaking that pattern helps us move forward. Monica finds that writing three pages of her thoughts every morning helps her make sense of her thoughts. She also shares how other aspects of her life impact how she responds to trauma, including the food she eats.
Monica explains that one of the hardest parts of healing from trauma, for her, was learning who she was outside of it. When you’ve sat in trauma for years, do you really know who you are? She gives us some examples of how she learned who she is. And while it’s not for everyone, Monica worked with a holistic shaman for a number of years to get to the root cause of her trauma.
How have you committed to working through your trauma every day? Let us know what you gained most from Monica’s story in the comments below!
In This Episode
“Once you start looking and becoming aware of your past betrayal, you have understanding. Once you have understanding, then you have clarity. And once you have the clarity, then you can start to move forward.” (3:00)
“These words, these neuropathways, are so almost hardwired, that slowly we have to learn to disconnect like a wire to a plug in the wall. We have to learn to disconnect slowly.” (15:00)
“Unfortunately, you have to step out into the unknown if you do want to heal. And that’s where the tricky part comes because the unknown can be so uncomfortable, that you’ll come back to the known, even though that is so uncomfortable. But at least it’s familiar.” (18:18)
“I realize that not every day is a good day, but I know I have the insight to navigate the days with gratitude.” (25:39)
Call Monica on 516-297-0672
Louise Swartswalter has had a 20-year career transforming lives using a unique multi-dimensional approach to helping others cleanse the body mind and spirit of all that is blocking you from achieving your goals.
After using multi-sensory development protocols to help children with dyslexia, Louise realized the same principles could be applied to healing ourselves as well. With this knowledge, Louise created the B.R.A.I.N System and has helped her clients move from anxiety to calm in as little as one session.
Louise works with what is impacting you energetically, even if you do not currently realize its impact, so that you can clear yourself spiritually, mentally and physically. By clearing these blocks, you can release what is holding you back and rewire your brain for success.
Join us as we explore the power of muscle testing, biofeedback, and the impact of the spoken word so that you can empower yourself to clear whatever is blocking your goals and intentions for good.
Have known or unknown energetic blockers been keeping you back from living your full potential? Share your story in the comments below.
In This Episode
“When I started releasing the blocks in the field and the brain-soul connections in the field is really when I became more of who I came here to be.” (3:36)
“I started putting them on biofeedback and I started to see their brains change in a different way than I could help them with reading, writing, and spelling. One little guy jumped 2 grades in reading just with biofeedback.” (16:54)
“It’s totally possible to completely change your life and change your energy.” (21:42)
“If you’re not feeling like yourself, or you feel like you are out of balance, keep seeking, find those answers for yourself whatever they are. Everybody has a gift to give. And if you are not using your gifts in the world you are not honoring God.” (32:01)
Most of what we are doing comes from our subconscious programming that is largely influenced by our family patterns. Your lineage could be a great indicator of your susceptibility to being betrayed, or being a betrayer, and it is only by understanding it that you can correct your patterns and move forward.
Johanna Lynn is the founder of the Family Imprint Institute and helps her clients resolve painful patterns that can live on in generations as if on repeat. Your unconscious loyalty to a parent, or your ancestral alarm clock, could be having a major impact on the way you make your decisions and your ability to find happiness.
We tend to paint our partner with the same brush of what we didn’t get enough of as a child, and the way you are triggered in a relationship can help you understand the greater forces at play. Invisible factors that you have inherited play a major role in how you make decisions about your life and relationships. Johanna is here to explain exactly how you can take control of those patterns so you can keep the good and get rid of the rest.
Are you ready to be real about your lineage and put your pain to bed? Share what you learned in this episode in the comments below.
In This Episode
“They say 70% of what goes on in a marriage has to do with each other’s family of origin. But I can tell you, the more years I am in this work, the more I am convinced its a lot more like 99%.” (5:46)
“Until we’ve really recognized, ‘aha, this was the part I brought into the relationship that kind of exploded in front of my face’, were less likely to recreate that in the next relationship.” (11:02)
“We’re doing this not for the ex, were doing this for our children. Children do best with equal access to both parents, and the last thing we want is our children to be on our side against their own father. This is a huge determinant to kids and amplifies the likelihood that they will show up in a similar relationship.” (22:33)
“Betrayal doesn’t have to be the end of your story; perhaps it is the start of a brand new book, with all kinds of new experiences. So make it a learning experience that opens the door to something better.” (26:03)
Donna Martini is a writer, activist, wellness coach and part of the Fab 14. One of the strongest and most inspirational women I know, Donna has shown courage when embracing her childhood and marital betrayals and has been able to stop attracting negativity through a plethora of modalities.
Today Donna is here to share her struggle and how she was able to turn her pain into triumph and transformation. Learn how to positively manipulate your mindset, energy of the heart and soul voice, why you should choose to love unconditionally to help you get through your anger and resentment, ways to surrender to something more powerful than your betrayal, and much more.
Donna is living proof that on the other side of healing, you will discover the strongest, wisest and most empowered version of you. When you make the decision to go forward after betrayal you can set goals, gain self-esteem and trust in the messages and motivation you are receiving.
Are you ready to stop attracting the victim mentality and train your brain and body to hear your soul’s voice? Share what steps you are taking in the comments below.
In This Episode
“I am happy not to remember everything because it is sometimes painful to go back there. But now I can go back and laugh about it and realize that I was physically changing to survive.” (7:22)
“You just need to willingness, and once you create the willingness and want to follow it, I call it the soul guidance, you lift out of whatever it is you are going through.” (10:22)
“We put on this armor, but I realized our biggest gift is really carrying a shield of love.” (15:57)
“I knew I had to cover betrayal, and it wasn’t easy for me to go there, it didn’t come naturally out. Because it’s just not something I go back to. I don’t think I am blocking it, I think it’s just that I feel so healed about it I don’t think about it anymore.” (31:32)
I’m convinced that there is no one stronger than someone who has healed from a painful experience with betrayal. Every day I work with the most incredible people who are rebuilding their lives after everything they’ve known has been torn down.
1-The person they trusted the most blindsided them.
2-The life they expected has shattered into a million pieces.
3-The dreams they envisioned have been destroyed.
4-Their health, confidence and even their sanity takes a nose dive.
Yet, even with all that, there’s a tiny seed of hope, a glimmer of possibility where although they don’t believe it fully, they think: “Can I heal from this?”
Then they find a reason to try. If not for them, for their children. Anything that can give them incentive to move through this unimaginable pain they never saw coming.
That’s the first step. Then they slowly come to realize that just because it happened TO them, it’s not ABOUT them.
This is a tough one to accept but when they do, they have even more motivation to heal.
They create their own “recipe” of what works for them, learn that although many well meaning people in their lives are trying to help, advice from people who haven’t been through it can do more harm than good.
They find the right support, feel a little better and keep going. They build on it and as they do, they’re regaining their energy, their perspective and slowly creating an entirely new life filled with hope and possibility.
They slowly become a role model, a force to be reckoned with and they eventually learn that while it was done to them and it was never about them, it was actually done FOR them.
They create radiant health, new boundaries, new relationships, new dreams, goals and visions. They’re blown away by their own strength as they learn they’re so much stronger than they thought. They’re ready for new opportunities, new adventures and new possibilities.
They learn that the person who hurt them the most was their greatest teacher and eventually, although they may not want to admit it, they’re grateful for all they learned through this trauma. As they stand up with a strength they never knew they had, they’ve achieved an amazing state of healing-Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT). Everyone around them knows the old version of them no longer exists and if they can’t step up or keep up with them, they simply fade away. This amazing rebuilt soul has an entirely new way to look at life. They’re wary to trust yet go for it anyway. They’re scared of a new opportunity but realize nothing could be nearly as scary as what they’ve just been through. They live more, laugh more, love more as they realize all of this was an incredibly painful yet life altering opportunity to show them just how magnificent they are.
Yep, that’s what healing from betrayal looks like and I’m honored to be among you my fierce cohorts. With love and the deepest admiration for the journey you’re on, you got this.
Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/
After experiencing extreme life-threatening obstacles and abuse as a child, Dave Pelzer defied the odds to become a New York Times bestselling author and recipient of the National Jefferson Award. Dave’s book, A Child Called It, has brought a voice to the abused child he once was and provided inspiration to anyone searching for internal happiness.
One of the most resilient people I know, Dave has lived a truly extraordinary life and has persevered against all odds to better himself and his surroundings through simplistic happiness. A story of strength, inspiration, and resiliency, Dave is here to share his tale of determination for survival and how to create wonderful opportunities for yourself despite any bleak circumstances.
The truth is, none of us know how many summers we have left, so the key is to make those moments count. Hurt people hurt other people, and when you can accept this and realize your own potential despite the situation, you can channel some of Dave’s courage and begin your own healing journey.
What did you find most inspiring about Dave’s story of resilience? Share with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“My story was never about abuse, but more so on resilience and surviving any way you can.” (3:52)
“There are all these little stones in your backpack. And it’s not like the one big thing, its always these small little ripples.” (11:39)
“You fail a thousand times, and then you get that one break that you really appreciate.” (20:24)
“You’ve got to keep the faith because you never know what the tide is going to bring in the next day. Or, in the course of a life, one never knows what events may transpire. And if you are going through a bad time right now, it’s only for the now.” (30:12)
“Life should be practical. Life should be like a golf lesson. Keep your butt up, chin down, and swing away.” (30:41)
After a betrayal left Lindsey Makitalo feeling isolated and alone, the From Betrayal to Breakthrough Program helped her regain her passion and vitality for life. Now a relaxation yoga teacher, Lindsey works to help others find their own inner teacher through yoga and meditation.
We all have the power of gut intuition inside of us, but our minds have a tendency to mess things up. Lindsey believes in leaning into the uncomfortable and the unknown to change your mindset and move through your betrayal gracefully.
Lindsey is proof that when you feel the inspiration to do something, even if it is scary or uncomfortable, you should do it anyways. Growth is found in the inspiration of not knowing, and it is only by embracing the unknown that we can learn what we are truly capable of.
When you are able to harness healing techniques such as yoga and meditation you can allow your body to rest and in turn receive better sleep, more energy and make wiser choices. Learn how the FBTB program altered Lindsey’s life, and what you can do to make the scary steps to healing not so scary, on this episode.
Do you take advantage of the healing powers of yoga and meditation in your life? Let us know how these techniques have helped you become more centered and heal from your betrayal in the comments below.
In This Episode
“I completely gave up on my business because I thought ‘well who am I to be doing this’ and I completely gave it up. And I never revisited having my own business again until years later.” (8:28)
“I just pushed through the fear and kind of let myself feel the discomfort of the unknown. Of not know what is going to come next, but trusting that anything could be better than what I had already been doing.” (14:24)
“It was a wake-up call, but it felt amazing. All of a sudden I realized I could actually be more productive because I was slowing down.” (22:43)
“Don’t waste any more time being stuck, don’t waste any more time feeling lost or putting yourself at the end of the to-do list. Put yourself first and everyone else will be taken care of, I promise you.” (26:55)
Lori Anne De Iulio Casdia is a beloved member of the Fab 14, mom of two, and founder of LDC Strategies, a marketing and PR firm specializing in strategic planning. After a betrayal shattered her world Lori Anne joined my Ph.D. study and became an inspirational member of our community. Since joining the program Lori Anne has rebuilt all aspects of herself that were demolished by her betrayal and is here today to inspire you with her post-betrayal transformation.
When trust is shattered it can be hard to trust someone again, but making that leap is the only way to heal. It is up to us to rediscover the fire within ourselves and the intuition that we have had all along. While it may seem difficult to accept now, there is a reason for your circumstance, and when we can find the lesson you are supposed to learn, healing can begin.
Lori Anne advocates for you to open yourself up to listening to what the Universe is trying to tell you. It can be scary to reject the negativity of your old life, but with small steps every day you can take control of your responsibilities and actions to rebuild into something bigger and better.
This is an example of post-betrayal transformation at its very best. Strength, resiliency and true happiness from within is on display today as Lori Anne shares her inspiring words and tools to help you take charge of your own destiny.
Are you ready to stop watching the Discovery channel and become the Discovery channel of your own future? Share what about Lori Anne you resonated most within the comments below.
In This Episode
“There is clearly a lesson to be learned and it’s there for your own growth.” (11:13)
“Spiritualism to me is the foundation to healing. Whatever that means to you, but that spiritualism, that connection with the Earth, that connection with your God, with the Universe, is a foundation that gives us all the answers, it really does. And that answer is within us.” (18:11)
“I had an opportunity to sit there and wallow, and that was an okay choice for me to do or make it bigger and better. And I chose to make it bigger and better.” (24:05)
“When I was in this relationship, I was sleepwalking, and the Universe was trying to rattle me. And I kept getting messages and the messages started to get stronger and stronger to the point where it had to implode because I wasn’t paying attention.” (30:02)
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