Post Betrayal Syndrome is the collection of physical, mental and emotional symptoms common to betrayal. Over 7,000 people have taken the assessment to see to what extent they’re struggling. While they share lots of details, this week, we’re talking about why people tend to stay stuck.
Are you ready to heal from Post Betrayal Syndrome? Share your story below!
“We see betrayals showing up in every single area of life.” [0:55]
“Over time, these unhealed betrayals keep us sick, sad, stuck.” [2:28]
“Here’s the problem – once we figured out how we can survive the experience, that’s as far as we go.” [3:31]
“There’s a version of you so confident, so healthy, so energized, so bold, so empowered, so awesome, that’s just waiting to be worth it.” [8:22]
You have probably heard of mindfulness as a buzzword before, but have you ever taken the time to explore exactly what the mind is? Darrin Ford is a licensed marriage and family therapist, nationally recognized speaker and internationally recognized author, who is here today to share his knowledge about the utilization of mindfulness when looking for ways to heal.
You can practice mindfulness while walking, sitting, standing, or lying down. By practicing weaving your mindfulness into your everyday activities, you can change the way you think, act, and react and find more peace. Mindfulness can help you be less reactive to your triggers and help you on your path towards healing.
Darrin knows what it is like to be stuck in a trauma or addiction loop, and is here today to share his knowledge with you so that you can stop feeding into your reactions and start being more present. By adopting an observational relationship with your thoughts, behaviors, and habits, you can better understand your emotions and start to interject mindfulness to better suit your destiny. Time, consistency, and self-compassion are the keys to mindfulness, and with Darrin’s help, you can integrate mindfulness into your daily life seamlessly.
Are you ready to take the time to adapt mindfulness into your life? Share your history with mindfulness with us in the comments below.
“You start to integrate these small interjections of mindfulness into your life, in small little doses, not in these big formal old fashioned ways. That doesn’t work for our busy lives, it’s not functional.” (6:22)
“It’s not that they wouldn’t feel the emotion connected to the trigger, its the way that we react to that emotion would be different, or would be more constructive versus destructive.” (14:59)
“You are the observer of this moment. You are the thing that sees your thoughts, see your mind’s reaction. You’re the one who has the ability to see that and then once you see it you can make a choice. I’m not saying that’s an easy choice, I’m not saying that when you choose not to react in the addictive, compulsive way, that you won’t feel a lot of emotional distress. You absolutely will. However, that is what’s needed.” (22:30)
“Emotions move us, they are an unconscious feeling that drives our thoughts. Our thoughts manifest into beliefs, our beliefs manifest into behaviors, our behaviors are practiced into habits, and our habits become our destiny.” (24:33)
Post betrayal syndrome is the collection of physical, mental and emotional symptoms.
Over 7,000 people at this point, took the assessment to see up to what extent they’re struggling from. So many need heartbreaking details, but one came in and I thought would really help because it’s something we see all the time: after all the betrayal we’ve been through, can people really keep their faith?
Are you ready to heal from post betrayal syndrome? Share your history with repeat betrayals with us in the comments below.
“I’ve been through betrayal so many times I have no faith that I wouldn’t find myself in another situation where betrayal is possible. And I just want relief.” [1:16]
“Repeat betrayals happen when you haven’t learned the significant lesson that betrayal was there to teach.” [1:28]
“At a time where we need support the most, we’re the least likely to seek it because we’re embarrassed, we feel uncomfortable. There’s so much shame.” [9:03]
“They may walk in with that trauma, but they are leaving transformed.” [11:43]
“There’s just a version of you so healthy, so strong, so awesome. And we need to clear that up to the best of you can just show up.” [12:19]
Sue Mocker is an author, professional speaker, and hope consultant. Sue works in the spheres of healthcare, ministry, education, and business to make transformational changes in the matters of the heart. After experiencing both marital betrayal and familial betrayal, Sue did the hard work to find hope after healing and is here today to share her knowledge with you.
Through her humorous and homemade stories, Sue is helping prove that while hurt people may hurt people, healed people can heal people as well. Sue wants you to know that there is a different way to think, be loved, heal, and grow by setting boundaries and honoring the level of treatment that you are deserving of.
By getting out of denial, calling out the lies you tell yourself, and grieving the process of betrayal, you can take giant brave leaps to be healed in a deep way while healing yourself and those around you.
You are worth it to take the time to seek out help and find strength in your healing. Are you ready to do what Sue did and discover what is really true? Let us know what healing options you are exploring in the comments below.
“I accepted poor treatment, I accepted things that people should never be accepted for treatment for their body. But what I do know, and what I have learned, is that childhood trauma, childhood sexual abuse, totally distorts the brain, totally changes what you think about yourself, totally reorganizes things in a way that creates a belief system about love, and it distorts it all.” (7:44)
“I started believing and understanding that my childhood trauma actually is connected to healing from this betrayal.” (10:15)
“There are all different kinds of reasons as to why we feel inadequate, insecure, unworthy, in different relationships. And its always helped me in my next step, whatever I was ready for.” (18:58)
“You do have value. There is hope, and there are modalities of healing out there that you may or may not connect too, that you may or may not have heard of, know about. Just find an opportunity to be open for something to be shown to you that is your next step.” (26:50)
“Healed people heal people, healing people heal people, you don’t have to be completely there, you don’t have to have completely arrived, but you are worth it.” (27:43)
If you ask me, fear is the biggest reason we stay stuck in our lives. While fear is at the root of almost everything, it is only by understanding the differences between irrational and realistic fears and constructive and destructive fears that we can reach the power of transformational fear. Dr. Carla Marie Manly is a clinical psychologist, author, and advocate who is here today to help us understand the different types of fear, how to work with them, and how to minimize them so that we can take action in a way that serves us best.
With a direct and honest approach with a dose of humor, Dr. Manly is here to help you navigate the soulful adventure into self-awareness. Instead of getting used to the voice of destructive fear that is prevalent in our society, Dr. Manly wants you to slow down and regain your power over your fear.
When going through a betrayal it is easy to stick to what you know and stay in your pain because it is familiar. Through the application of Dr. Manly’s strategies, you can start to strengthen the constructive over the destructive and stop giving your betrayal wiggle room. It is possible to overcome what is keeping you stuck, and with the help of Dr. Manly, you can gain insight into this challenging topic and find a way to focus on your optimal wellness.
The feelings you are having are universal and nothing to be ashamed of. By pushing through the shame you can start on your journey to healing and the joy that has been in you all along. Are you ready to allow yourself the power of knowing that through perseverance you can find the other side of fear? Share what gave you the most hope from Dr. Manly’s advice in the comments below.
“Unfortunately in this day and age, many of us are being riddled with irrational fears, unrealistic fears, that keep us from change, that keep us stuck and immobilized in life.” (3:05)
“This is the beautiful part about destructive fear. Destructive fear does not like the light. Destructive fear does not like clarity. Destructive fear does not like written agreements at all because destructive fear likes to be able to be manipulative and sneaky.” (12:56)
“When we make goals for ourselves, when we put things in writing, it becomes much more understandable for the psyche. That is why so many of us will make wishlists in our heads or think in our heads and not want to put it in writing. Because the minute we put something in writing, we feel a sense of clarity and accountability.” (19:04)
“There is something beautiful and connective about being held in a safe place where you can hear other women’s stories. Their lows, their successes, and know that if they can do it, I can do it too.” (21:48)
“Everything is to do with a reminder to the self when you get weak, that these are real things that happen. Is that in line with the kind of life I want in my future?” (26:20)
Most good comedy and humor come from the painful parts of life, but have you ever considered how finding the humor in a hard situation could help you heal? Paul Osincup is a humor strategist, TEDx speaker, and leading expert in the professional application of humor to reduce stress, build resilience, increase influence, and boost happiness. Paul believes in the power of humor in leadership and is here today to share how humor can enhance health and human performance.
Paul is on a mission to increase global workplace happiness by helping others rewire themselves to find the funny. By implementing tools to help you laugh a bit more, you may be able to heal from your betrayal a bit easier as well. There is real power in humor, and if you need help getting started, Paul is here to introduce you to the world of humor and help you develop your sense of humor intentionally and strategically. Laughing is proven to reduce cortisol, boosts serotonin and oxytocin, and helps improve your connection with others.
By spicing up the mundane things in your life that you have to do, laughter is possible no matter what you are going through. Regardless of what type of humor you like, you can encourage the presence of humor in your life by implementing Paul’s simple and effective strategies. Are you ready to train your brain to look for humor in the mundane and painful? Share how laughter has helped you heal in the comments below.
“Humor is not a talent, humor is a habit.” (3:26)
“Ultimately, like any other form of communication, I think humor can be used as a tool and as a weapon. And for me, I like humor that makes people feel good and makes me feel good.” (7:34)
“We studied the application of humor and just doing that exercise seven days, writing down three things you found amusing or funny each day, they found actually decreases depressive symptoms and increases happiness for up to six months.” (17:02)
“Humor is one of the things that actually starts firing in all areas of the brain, and so it does a lot for our overall feelings of happiness.” (19:09)
“Just because something is hurtful, doesn’t mean it’s not okay to laugh about it. And there is a really close connection between laughing and crying.” (22:39)
“Regardless of what you are going through… you don’t have to hope for humor to happen. You can harness it and be intentional about it.” (28:34)
Stories of burnout are becoming increasingly frequent, but the standard medical community often brushes away the symptoms. After experiencing her own personal burnout, Nikole Stanfield realized that she needed to help others improve themselves through the same personal development. Now an Intuition Coach who helps successful business owners and entrepreneurs stop feeling unfulfilled and work through their burnout, Nikole’s passion is helping others love what they do.
In this episode, we will discover the connection between burnout and self-betrayal, learn ways that you can start to decrease your overwhelm in less than 30 minutes a day, and discover how we can break free from expectations to find a more authentic version of yourself. One for all of the people pleasers, type a’s and hard workers out there, Nikole’s advice is not to be missed.
The thoughts you have had in the past may have served you then, but by shifting your thought patterns you can start to go after what you really want and not what you feel obligated to do. While it may feel excruciatingly painful to say no to somebody, by pushing through the uncomfortable, you can start to say yes to yourself instead.
Are you ready to transform from an anchor into a set of wings? Share your experiences with burnout with us in the comments below.
“I’m an overachiever and have done so many things and have been super busy in my life, so this was a totally new place to be, and I had no idea what to do. I was terrified, and I didn’t know how to move forward.” (5:05)
“That’s where I feel like the betrayal came in. That I just ran over myself. And I didn’t listen to anything I wanted or what was best for me.” (9:49)
“When you are an entrepreneur you start taking on all these things that you need to hustle, this concept, you need to make sure that you are wearing all these different hats… and it gets overwhelming, its too much.” (17:07)
“If it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for them. I don’t have to fall on the sword.” (21:39)
“The important part is that you recognize that you are having those thoughts. So then you can say okay, maybe I want to journal about it. Or you talk to someone you care about who will just listen to you. Or you work with a coach, or you meditate on it. Whatever that is, you can start to see how often this guilt is showing up in your life or this phrase that you keep telling yourself.” (25:06)
Are you exhausted with all you are doing to be beautiful? With all of that effort, you could be betraying yourself by denying discovering who you really are. Diane Kazer is a former pro-soccer player turned functional diagnostic nutrition practitioner, courage coach, and holistic beauty expert. Your go-to-girl to break through anything despite what you have been through or been told, Diane is here today to stop the patterns of toxic beauty and put an end to the toxic stories we tell ourselves once and for all.
The price of being beautiful is one of the biggest measures of self-betrayal, and Diane is here to help you release the toxic chemicals, toxic stories, and beliefs that are keeping you confined to your suffering, sickness, and sadness. By cleansing your body, healing your hormones, and igniting your life, Diane’s tried and true method of healing can help you discover and appreciate who you are truly meant to be.
Diane wants to show you the template of a healthier way of life so that you can cleanse your stories, heal your trauma, and ignite your purpose. If you are spending a lifetime trying to please others in the way that you look, feel, and live, you will never find the fulfillment you are so deserving of.
Are you ready to get to the root of your beliefs so that you can start healing and believing that you are enough? Share what you loved most about Diane’s framework with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“This is what we are taught, that if you don’t have this perfect shaped face and nose and hair and body and butt and boobs, then you are going to “kicked out of this tribe”. And what is this tribe? This tribe is called Instagram, this tribe is called Facebook, this tribe is called the magazines and the media and pop culture. And so when we don’t follow the template we have this sense of shame and this shame is the self-betrayal that I want to talk about.” (4:01)
“There are three ways that we can self betray. And that is physical, emotional, and spiritual.” (9:26)
“There is wisdom in the wound, and in that shadow, you can find your light. But only until you have faced your darkness will you know your light, so it takes so much courage.” (17:30)
“You want to know what your future looks like? Look at your past. If you haven’t healed it, it’s going to keep happening.” (22:44)
“This needs to happen now. Look at our world, we need all of you, every single one of you to rise. And it starts with using your own eyes to undisguised yourself of who you think you are supposed to be.” (25:15)
Jodi Cohen is one of the bravest people I know, and one of my personal heroes. After losing her son in a devastating accident only 18 months ago, Jodi had to deal with not only the betrayal of expectations when you become a parent, but also the ripple effect her family’s story sent through her community.
An award-winning journalist, best selling author, functional practitioner, and founder of Vibrant Blue Oils, Jodi has combined her life experiences, training in nutritional therapy, and aromatherapy to create unique proprietary blends of essential oils that have helped tens of thousands of people.
Jodi is all about gaining an understanding of post-traumatic growth and helping others focus on moments of clarity and relief. By getting out of the state of anger created by your mind and emotions, Jodi believes that you can get unstuck and heal in a real and authentic way. If you want to gain an understanding of the many layers of healing that take place, how to deal with outsiders and friends after a betrayal, or gain a sense of Jodi’s strength and resilience, this is the episode for you.
A topic that nobody ever wants to deal with, but that is so important to shed light on, Jodi is here to provide guidance, love, and most importantly, understanding. Do you know someone who would resonate with Jodi’s story? Tag them in the comments below.
In This Episode
“Who goes out there and publicly broadcasts that you are a hot mess? Who that loves you is going to do that when you are in your deepest darkest hour? It is someone who really liked external validation, really liked the kudos that she got from being able to say she was supporting me.” (10:34)
“There was nothing in between, it was almost like the volume was on mute, or the highest decibel ever. And so just trying to navigate that so that you had more options, more speeds than just super low or super high, by helping yourself kind of center and ground with the oil.” (17:15)
“Its almost like you have to feel safe to really release. Because I think anger is the top layer of fear and sadness, and its almost like a tough nut to crack. Once you can get through that anger, then you can get to the core of the issue, and you can start to release it and move out of it.” (20:20)
“There are always new learning and new skills and peeling off the onion.” (22:32)
“I want to make sure everybody knows that they are not alone, that there is no shame. This is not something that they chose, and that there are periods that will be better, this is not forever.” (30:27)
Marie-Ève Bonneau lived for almost a decade with a devastating chronic illness that brought her to the edge of all that she knew. It took rewiring her brain and surrendering deeply for Marie-Ève to allow her experience to transform and to start embracing something entirely new from within herself.
Now a psychotherapist, writer, facilitator, and initiation guide, Marie-Ève works to bring light to the darkness of those ready to transform difficulty into a path of awakening. If you have ever felt like the foundation of your life is crumbling, Marie-Ève’s experience with turning grief into gifts is something you need to hear.
By looking for the reason behind your betrayal, you can transform your mindset just like Marie-Ève and access your inner wisdom and the wisdom of the Universe. Everything from finding your calling through your crisis, taking time to be present with your feelings and how to start accessing your own heart space is on this episode as we explore how to shed, integrate and process into a new state of presence and beingness.
Have you ever felt like your body betrayed you? Share how you related to Marie-Ève’s story with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“In those early days it did feel like my body was betraying me, it felt like the divine or maybe even life itself was betraying me, and I really had this sinking feeling that all bets were off.” (4:11)
“It took three years of very intensive treatment to finally make tangible progress, which felt like a miracle because I had tried to hard to dent the symptoms and nothing was working.” (7:38)
“Slowly but surely I started to feel like the clouds were parting, and my energy was returning, and I could function again.” (8:24)
“Instead of seeing it as a betrayal, that my body has betrayed me, I was able to shift that. And from a loving space, to actually attend to myself and attend to my body deeply.” (13:13)
“I started to orient around what I would call my center or my deepest truth, my inner essence. And then to learn to listen deeply and live in a state of reflectivity and connection and to move into the world from that place.” (21:39)
“Catastrophe or challenges that happen, whether it is an illness or something else, it is not a mistake. Ultimately it’s not a betrayal, but that is actually an opportunity.” (26:12)
So often we forget to prioritize our own self-love and self-care after a betrayal, but these practices can hold the key to discovering who you are, how to come back to yourself and ways to stop putting other people ahead of you. Self-care is not selfish, it is self-preservation, and with the expert advice of our next guests, you can implement these self-love routines despite your busy schedule and start reaping the rewards.
Tammy Lawman and Brooke Emery are the co-creators of the Self-Love and Self-Care Symposium, a space dedicated to teaching you how to love yourself more fully, appreciate your unique gifts and take better care of yourself so that you can shine more brightly in the world. Tammy, a business strategist, and marketing expert, and Brooke, a connector and creative business strategist, work together to bring big vision to their clients and provide the fuel necessary to inspire, motivate and transform.
These two self-care experts are here today to give you simple strategies to start giving yourself a little bit more love. By allowing yourself the right to say no, connecting to your forgotten child and putting yourself on your own to-do list, you can start to shine your light brighter in the world. Are you ready to embrace Tammy and Brooke’s simple, easy and free steps so that you can figure out what you want out of your life and go after it?
Share your self-love and self-care habits and wishes with us in the comments below.
“When you are saying no to something else, you are saying yes to yourself.” (6:45)
“For me, to be able to share authentically and connect deeply with another person is the greatest act of self-love.” (11:25)
“Just try it on like an experiment. Just because that works for me, it doesn’t mean it is going to work for that person. But just trying to, maybe drive down a different road, you know? Just experiment with how the morning routine goes, because I really feel that the morning is how things set up.” (22:38)
“We’re sharing all kinds of tips and methodologies, all to help you get back to a place of fully loving yourself more and really learning how to take care of yourself, how to tap into your intuition and how to feel good in your body.” (25:24)
“We believe that when you love yourself you can go out in the world and you can fully love with your whole heart and really share your unique abilities and talents with the world.” (28:55)
Maggie Kelly is a mindful life coach, meditation instructor, podcaster, public speaker and awakener. After her son was born with cystic fibrosis, Maggie felt betrayed by her expectations of health for her son. Through meditation and mindfulness practices Maggie was able to turn introspectively to address her fear and dismiss her limiting beliefs.
Despite what you may think, ultimately you are not in charge. It is only by giving in to this universal power and accepting that you cannot control everything that you can find true peace. Today Maggie is here to provide you with actionable steps so that you can illuminate the roadblocks inside of yourself that are standing in the way of living an envisioned and awakened life.
By returning to the very foundational essence of who you are and what you are capable of, you can tune into what is around you and become at peace with the fact that nothing is permanent, both good or bad. Are you ready to take responsibility for your part in your betrayal and become okay with what happens when life doesn’t fit your perfect picture? Share your thoughts on Maggie’s story with us in the comments below.
In This Episode
“I think that it’s important when we are talking about betrayal and having a breakthrough from that experience or coming out of the grief of having been betrayed, I think it is important for us to stop and be a little mindful as to how did we get there.” (2:49)
“I was living out constant and consistent never-ending fear, that that is what drove the show. The fear always drove the show and that’s when I started to really get in touch with what that fear was about.” (8:03)
“Most of us believe what we think, and very seldom do we check it out with anybody.” (13:16)
“What meditation is about is for you to be able to notice that in that stillness your thoughts start to stray and take you away. And then in that noticing, bringing yourself back to that place of stillness.” (19:23)
“What’s really important when you are thinking that you have been betrayed is for you to actually step back and survey the situation and ask yourself what was my part.” (21:57)