September 24



No matter how much we plan our lives, the unexpected happens, leaving us completely dumbfounded. When we’re feeling lost and don’t know what to do next, it can cause deep fear, dread, and anxiety.

But while our state of confusion may feel as if it’s a roadblock to getting to where we need to be, it actually serves a purpose for our breakthrough. It allows us to dig deeper within ourselves and search more vigorously for clarity.

 My name Dr. Debi Silber and welcome to another insightful episode of A Dose of Dr. Debi.

Today, I will discuss how confusion can lead to new insights and possibly, an entirely different direction with opportunities that you could have never even imagined before.

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In This Episode

  • Understand what happens when there’s a shakeup in your life
  • Discover why confusion is good
  • Learn how what to do when you’re in intense confusion


Hi there and welcome to another Dose of Dr. Debi. I want to talk about something today that I see a lot. It’s something that, if you don’t know it’s coming, it can be a little frightening, maybe very frightening. But, if you understand it ahead of time, it can make you feel a little bit more comfortable.

When I see people healing, I see this a lot. It’s this intense confusion. We think confusion is a bad thing, it’s actually a really good thing. Here’s what I mean.

Life as you had known it is going along and you know where to go, you know where to be, you have your routine mapped out, etc. It’s sort of predictable. Everything is going as it’s been going, and then all of a sudden there is this complete disruption of life as you’ve known it. And if that’s not as big of a shake up as you need, what also happens is it gives you the opportunity to question everything.

It’s that intense of a shakeup that it wakes us up out of this numbness, out of this sort of stupor, that we may have been in, and it gives us an opportunity to ask ourselves questions like: “What am I doing?” “What am I feeling?” “What have I been tolerating?” We begin to look at what’s working, what’s not working, and all of these questions come up. It’s intensely, confusing. But, that’s good! Because what happens is, once the dust settles, it’s going to allow for clarity and possibly an entire new direction that you never would have had access to, had that not happened. Insights that you never would have had access to, had that not happened.

You know I love giving analogies so this is one that comes to mind. I write about it in Trust Again, where I explain how this confusion is a good thing. And it’s kind of like this.

Imagine you’re running in one direction, you are just running and running and running as fast and as far as you can, like Forrest Gump running. You’re just going, going, going, going, going. Then all of a sudden you realize; “Wow, I don’t think this is the right direction. This no longer serves, I’m kind of done with this.” Think about what happens. What happens is you slow yourself down. You turn, you pivot, and then you begin to move in a different direction until you pick up speed and now you’re running in a completely new and different direction.

This direction may possibly serve you so much better. That confusion that we feel that feeling like we had it all together, we knew exactly what we were doing, we had it all figured out and now it’s like we can’t even tie our shoes, like we can’t fight our way out of a paper bag. We just can’t figure any of this out. That’s like the running in the one direction, the “wait a second, this doesn’t serve, I don’t think this is right. I don’t think this is what I want to do, where I need to be. It’s not in my best interest anymore.”

So you stop and you pivot and you redirect before you take off in the new direction that’s going to take you where you’re now ready to go, where it is that you’re meant to be, at this point in your life. So that’s what this confusion is about and I wanted to just to be sure to share that because I know how painful that confusion can be.

I remember feeling it myself, I knew exactly what my life plan was, and what my business was and I had it all figured out. And then the betrayal happened, and my entire life as I had known it came to a complete crash. Everything that I thought I knew and I thought I wanted and I thought I had all figured out was completely destroyed. But in that complete and utter death and destruction of the old (and you’ve heard me say this) allows for the birth of something new. And when that dust settled, and when I started to see things a bit more clearly, when I was now in a mindset of willingness to say;  “What the heck do I do with this, where do I go now what do I do?”

Well, that’s when I got the insight, and the idea for The PBT Institute. So, you are setting yourself up for amazing downloads and insights, and all kinds of wonderful things with this confusion. Although you may be in that place of confusion right now, (and I know how hard it is) stay with it, because when that dust settles, the clarity will come, and possibly a new direction, a new insight, a new awareness that you never, ever had anywhere in your realm of consciousness. You’re ready for it now.

So, I just wanted to be sure to explain that so you know what this means, if that’s what you’re experiencing. Now there are so many exciting things coming up! One is the release of my new book, here’s a picture because the book isn’t ready yet. From hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck, and Create a Life You Love. Now, this book is because one of the three discoveries that were made in my PhD study was that while we can stay stuck for years, decades a lifetime (and so many of us do), if we’re going to fully heal we’re going to move through five now proven predictable Stages. And what’s even more exciting about that is, now we know what happens physically, mentally and emotionally, at every one of those Stages, and we know what it takes to move from one Stage to the next so healing truly is predictable.

All of the five Stages are mapped out in Trust Again. So you have access to all of that. And you can get that book, and all of the bonuses that go with it by clicking here. This way you get the book, and all the goodies that go with it.

But what I found was, most people get stuck in Stage three, and that’s where they stay for years, decades a lifetime. So, From Hardened to Healed, is for those of you who are stuck in Stage three (when you know the five Stages you’ll know exactly what Stage you’re stuck in) but I’m going to be talking all about it at the launch of the book From Hardened to Healed so I would love it if you could join me for our book launch party!

We’re having a big party to celebrate the release of this new book, and it’s going to be on October 5, from 12 to 2pm, Eastern Time. Nine to 11 Pacific. To join us at the book launch party click here: https://thepbtinstitute.com/bookparty/ that’s where you’ll RSVP to get on the list. I’m having our certified PBT Coaches and Practitioners there who will walk themselves through the five Stages so you know what it looks like and you know what each Stage, looks like. It’s just going to be an incredible celebration of possibility, and of course I’m going to have all kinds of prizes and bonuses, too.

So,  reserve your seat for the book party by clicking here. October 5th.  It’s going to be a very special day. It’s an incredible book that will move you forward out of Stage three into Stage four or five and beyond.

Once again, just to recap, if you’re feeling stuck, good chance you’re in Stage three, that confusion is very likely that Stage two, Stage three, and can also, the dust settles, reveal Stage four. When the dust settles you’re ready for your new path, and what you’re meant to do, and what you’re meant to do with your experience turning your biggest crisis into your greatest gift. Remember what I did. I didn’t do anything you couldn’t do, I just went through this intense pain and said; “There’s got to be a reason for this, and if I can heal I’m taking everybody with me.” Now your insight may be much different. You may discover something very unique, from your experience, and that’s what will be revealed when that dust settles and of course if I can help you with that, and if The PBT Institute can help you with that, that’s what we’re here for. So join us at the book party, and I’ll see you next time.

Thanks so much, and share the podcast with anybody who who’d benefit. If you’re stuck, if you’ve had a betrayal, trust issues, trust has been broken, don’t stay stuck. The worst of it is over already. You owe to yourself to heal, you deserve to heal. I’ll see you next time. Bye.


Book Party! From hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck, and Create a Life You Love. 

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About the author 

Dr. Debi

A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who’s created a proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

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