• The episode begins with an exploration of how betrayal can shatter confidence and disrupt life, affecting relationships, self-worth, and trust.

Main Discussion:

  • The concept of confidence is unpacked, describing it as a quality earned through overcoming uncomfortable experiences and reflecting on them to grow stronger.
  • Debi shares personal anecdotes and observations about opportunities lost due to a lack of confidence and the regret that follows.
  • A detailed examination of how betrayal specifically impacts confidence, leading to self-doubt and a reinforced cycle of negative beliefs about oneself.
  • The process of rebuilding confidence is discussed as taking on challenges, reflecting on the outcomes, and gradually making new decisions that reinforce a positive self-view.

Key Points:

  • Definition of Confidence: Confidence is viewed as a result of surviving and reflecting on challenging experiences.
  • Impact of Betrayal: Betrayal uniquely shatters confidence by making one question their judgments and the intentions of others.
  • Rebuilding Strategy: Confidence can be rebuilt by confronting new challenges, reflecting on these experiences, and adjusting behaviors to reinforce positive self-perceptions.

Stages of Rebuilding Confidence:

  • Debi outlines The Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough, emphasizing the importance of each Stage in recovering and building back confidence.
  • Examples include setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and embracing new opportunities to test one’s limits and capabilities.

Practical Advice:

  • Listeners are encouraged to identify and take on one new challenge that can help build their confidence. This could be anything from wearing something different, starting a new activity, or engaging in a new conversation.


  • The episode wraps up with a call to action for listeners to share their own experiences with rebuilding confidence after betrayal and a reminder to check out the resources available at The PBT Institute.

Additional Resources:

Understanding and Overcoming Self-Betrayal